A Christmas Message from
Rubin Santa Claus
Yo ho freakin’ ho!
Yes, folks, this “blawg” message comes to you from me, the Rubinman, Santa Claus, standing in for Amber because – guess what? Yeah, she’s freakin ILL. AGAIN. She totally got the cold, like really bad, on Christmas morning, and actually, yoos should probably all be grateful she did, because if she was here right now she’d just be all, “oooh, mememe, monkies, the cold, me, monkies, cry me a freakin’ river, ME, the end.”
And obviously, yoos would all be like, “Who gives a crap about you, Ginger? Tell us about the Rubinman, that handsome and yet really terrifying young WOLF yoos live with?”
Well Ithe Rubinman is doin good. It’s like, when Amber and Terry went to that “Tenerife” place, I went to live with my Norma and John, and not a moment too soon, because at least they know how to feed a wolf properly, you know what I’m sayin’? Since They came back, Amber and Terry have been callin me “Fatboy” and they just better watch their backs, because I got a bum-bitin’ here with both their names on it. I mean, the Rubinman has got one. Not me, because I am Santa Claus. Ho ho ho.
Yeah, so, for Christmas I brung Amber and Terry quite a lot of stuff. I, like, brung them a lot of clothes, and I also brung them “money”, and I brung Amber one of them “S.A.D. lights” so she can shine it in her face and, like, pretend she’s in the sun and stuff? So, it’s like, you never know, next year she might even write a “blawg” post or two that ISN’T all, “oooh, the cold, ooh don’t like it, gimme sunshine, gimme monkies, woe!” Yeah, right.
Also, They ate, like A LOT of food for that “Christmas”. A LOT of food. And They didn’t even give the Rubinman any of it. It’s like, yoos should totally send him food, ya know? They had a good time, even although Amber totally whined about how it was, like, the third time she’d been ill this month, and stuff. What a clown she is, seriously.
Thank Dog that handsome wolf was there to keep her in line is all I can say.
Hope yoos all had a good “Christmas” too,
Rubin Santa Claus