Everybody Needs Good Neighbours
So, the new neighbours moved in on Friday.
Actually, they moved in mere hours after I published that blog post about… well, about THEM, basically. And how I was totally going to become BFFs with them, only not really, because now when they ask me what I do for a living, I’ll have to say, “Actually, I write about YOU on the internet. I hope that isn’t going to be awkward, is it?”
And, of course, it WOULD be awkward. Because it’s always awkward when you tell someone you’re a blogger. Even if you haven’t recently written a blog post detailing the totally imaginary world you’ve created, in which you and your husband are Chandler and Monica, and your new neighbours are Rachel and Ross. No, wait, I think I’d rather be Rachel? Because she had better clothes? But then, Monica kept a REALLY clean house, and could be pretty uptight a lot of the time, and… yeah, I’m Monica. I am SO Monica.
Even without that added complication, though, telling people you’re a blogger is an exercise in awkwardness a lot of the time, and being introduced to new people (Or NOT being introduced to new people in this case, because I hope you all realise I’m not ACTUALLY as obsessed with these new neighbours as I’m making myself sound here: they just started a train of thought that I can’t seem to get off…) kinda forces you to see yourself through new eyes. In my case, what I see is… actually kind of weird, really. I mean, I don’t even have the comparative luxury of being a beauty blogger, say, or a food blogger – both of which could be made to sound almost ‘normal’ – almost like working for a magazine, really, but one you own, and have full responsibility for. No, I’m stuck with the admission that I take photos of my outfits and post them on the internet. Mind you, if people think THAT’S strange, at least I can follow it up with, “Oh, that’s not ALL I do, obviously! No, sometimes I also write down my innermost thoughts, and post THOSE on the internet!” Because that’s not weird AT ALL, is it?
So, now I’m just wondering if there could be a way to make my blog seem even WEIRDER to people who don’t know me, or don’t know about blogging? Like, as well as taking photos of my outfits (GOD) and writing about my life on the internet (SERIOUSLY, WTF?) maybe I could, I dunno, regularly go out into the street and shout the name of long-dead rock stars, say? Because THAT would be pretty strange, and, oh yeah, I’ve been doing that too, this week: sorry, new neighbours! Welcome to the street, though!
Luckily there is a non-crazy explanation for this one: we’ve been looking after our friends’ cats for a few days, and one of the cats is called Elvis. (I know, great name, right?) It’s the cat, not The King I shout for in the street, but of course, the new neighbours don’t know that: and now I come to think of it, the OLD neighbours probably don’t know that either. This explains a LOT. Like why we get Christmas cards addressed to “Terry and family”. And why Terry knows all of the neighbours by name, and has been inside all of their houses, but I never have a clue who he’s talking about, and secretly suspect that any time we come up in neighbourly conversation, everyone will be all, “Oh, the man in that house is so nice! Lovely, friendly chap! Wife’s a bit of a weirdo, though: hardly speaks to anyone, and any time you DO see her, she’s out shouting about Elvis…”
Er, I really hope the new people don’t read THIS post, either. That really WOULD be awkward, wouldn’t it?