I also feel a bit like I should be apologising for this to the people who follow me there… even although I know that’s stupid, really, because seriously, Amber, no one is sitting around on Twitter, just breathlessly waiting for your next update, I mean, get over yourself.
Twitter, though. I just can’t with it any more. And I never really could with it, if we’re being totally honest here, but lately… oh, man. Every time I go on there, I feel like I’ve just gatecrashed someone’s party. I wasn’t invited, and no one really wants me there, but I hang around anyway, smiling hopefully at anyone who glances my way, and I occasionally work up the nerve to try to insinuate myself into one of the conversations, but I always end up feeling like I’ve made a bit of an ass of myself, really, and that they’re all going to be talking about me behind my back when I leave.
Every time I post something there, no matter how innocuous it seems, I’m immediately unfollowed by at least 4 people. Every. Single. Time. So I keep my thoughts to myself, and just let WordPress automatically tweet the links to my posts, and then I feel guilty because I am social media-ing WRONG, dammit.
But who can fit all of their thoughts into 140 characters? I can barely fit all of my thoughts into my HEAD most of the time, and every time I try to release them onto Twitter, I have to spread them over 15 separate tweets, each one containing a typo I won’t notice until approximately five seconds after I’ve tweeted it.
But then Facebook. It’s not much better, is it? I pretty much stopped using Facebook when all of the inspirational messages started, so, like Twitter, everything that goes onto my page is automated. It’s supposed to be there just to let people know there’s a new post on the blog, but most of the time people just read the post excerpt on Facebook, and reply to THAT, and OMG, here we go again with the, “people are talking to me, but I don’t know they’re doing it, because I never seem to get the notifications, and it never occurs to me to go and look at my own page,” thing. So, I’m just sitting there, twiddling my thumbs and wondering why no one’s commenting on my blog, and meanwhile people ARE commenting… they’re just doing it on Facebook. Which I rarely look at.
With Twitter, it’s like I gatecrashed someone’s party. Facebook, on the other hand, makes me feel like I’m at the wrong party altogether. Like, I’m sitting there in my living room, with a party hat on and a table full of carefully laid-out snacks in front me, and meanwhile everyone else is over on the other side of town, getting drunk at the party of the century.[separator type=”thin”]
With Twitter, it’s like I gatecrashed someone’s party. Facebook, on the other hand, makes me feel like I’m at the wrong party altogether.[separator type=”thin”]
And Instagram. Oh, Instagram. You used to be my favourite, but then you, too, became filled with inspirational quotes and screenshots of Whatsapp conversations, and now I just don’t fit in ANYWHERE any more. Also, a few months ago I discovered your secret “direct message” box, and it was filled with messages I didn’t know were there. And, OK, most of them were from foot fetishists, but some of them were from real people, and those real people probably now ALSO hate me, because they sent me a message on Instagram once, and I didn’t reply, even although they could SEE me still uploading photos! The nerve!
Now I keep promising myself I’ll remember the existence of the secret inbox and I’ll do my best to check it every day, but then weeks go by and suddenly I’m all, “OMGSECRETINBOX!” Sad trombone.
Don’t even get me STARTED on Snapchat.
I feel like I should be better at this. Other people seem to manage it, after all. Other bloggers, especially: they all have multiple social media accounts, updated multiple times per day, with different content for each one. “Social media is SO important!” they say. “You must have a strategy! You must stick to it! You must schedule all your tweets three weeks in advance, and your Instas, too: so you must go live your life in advice, take photos of it, then schedule them to go live every few hours: it’s so easy even Amber could do it!”
But I just can’t. I can’t with the scheduling, and the mentioning, and all the different places people might send me messages. I can’t with the non-stop notifications from multiple different accounts (three blogs = at least 10 social media accounts that I can think of, just off the top of my head…), and I can’t with the pressure to be entertaining in a totally different way on every single one of them, so people don’t get bored. And I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but…
SOMETIMES I DO MISS THE GOOD OL’ DAYS.
Remember the days when all you had to do was blog? When people would respond to you ON YOUR BLOG, and you didn’t have to trawl through 34,876 different websites just to find the comments people had made about your post? I miss all of that. Because I KNOW I could do better at this. I know I could make more of an effort to schedule tweets, and go through the junk folder to find all of those Facebook notifications I keep missing. I could try harder to check for messages on Instagram, and I could do my best to remember that hey, Google Plus still exists! (Er, Google Plus still exists, right?) I could finally figure out Snapchat. Probably.
It’s just… I don’t really WANT to. I get exhausted just thinking about it. I can’t keep up. And a lot of the time I find myself wondering what the point is. Does it really matter that I don’t tell Twitter what I had for lunch today? Does anyone on Facebook really want to see photos of that pretty sunset that actually came out quite crappy on my phone, but seriously, you should have seen it in real life?And how do I get better at it, if so?