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Finding Your Fashion Tribe

Posted on 18 Comments 3 min read

autumn outfit: tweed jacket, cable knit sweater and khaki jeans
Phillip Lim Pashli mini satchel

casual autumn outfit in khaki and brown

Remember a few weeks ago, when I wondered where all of the daily outfit bloggers had gone?

Well, it turns out they’re all over on Instagram, just like you told me in the comments of that post. Honestly, I’ve never enjoyed Instagram quite so much as I have since I made this discovery. I followed a bunch of new people, most of them posting daily photos of their outfits, just like fashion bloggers used to do, back in the good ol’ days… and then I quickly settled into a daily routine of scrolling through my Instagram feed and thinking, “Wow, why am I not more like THESE people?”

I mean, I kind of hate myself for admitting that, if I’m honest. I’ve never really been keen on those blog posts where people talk about how Instagram makes them feel bad about themselves, as if everyone on Instagram has some kind of moral duty to make themselves slightly less fabulous, just so the rest of us don’t have to compare ourselves too harshly to them. Because that’s nuts, right? Comparison is the thief of joy, and all that, but we still do it, don’t we? And lately I’ve been doing quite a lot of it: and one of the things I’ve been wondering is: where the hell is my tribe?

I hear a lot about tribes on the internet, you see. Apparently it’s really important for bloggers to identify our tribe, and then carefully tailor our content to fit it. But what if you don’t HAVE a tribe, though? I don’t. And I actually don’t think I ever HAVE, really. I mean, as I scroll through my Instagram feed, there’s a real mix of people and styles in there. There’s the retro/pin-up tribe – who I don’t really fit in with, because they’re mostly into the head-to-toe vintage look, and I never have been. There’s the young, trendy tribe – who I don’t fit in with, because I’m neither young nor trendy. There’s the 30/40+ crowd – and I don’t feel like I fit in with them either, although I know I should, because they’re all so grown-up and sophisticated somehow, and I just took a photo of my husband trying to see how many Oreos he could fit into his mouth.

(Six, just in case you were wondering. That’s six double-stuffed Oreos, though: none of that single-stuffed nonsense for us…)

So, where is my tribe? I want to have a tribe, dammit, but I don’t really know what it would be, even if I did. Retro dressers who hardly ever dress “retro” these days? People who aspire to be “classic”, but whose hair always gets messed up by the wind? Women who are technically “grown ups”, but secretly still 15 years old in their own heads? I don’t know. But if you have a tribe I can join, please tell me about it: I kind of feel like I need one…

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New Look jacket (similar)

H&M jeans 

H&M sweater (H&M jeans)

Phillip Lim  ‘Pashli’ mini satchel*

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  • Anna nuttall
    October 25, 2016

    I don’t think there is a fashion tribe for ‘short squash overweight jelly bean woman’. lol I have looked!

  • Hana
    October 25, 2016

    Oh, but it’s just what’s making you and your blog so special – it doesn’t blend in with the rest of the “tribe”! I totally get the feeling, but I think that by not really fitting in one special niche, you are more relatable to us normal folk 🙂

  • Ylenia
    October 25, 2016

    I totally get where you’re coming from! As “social” social media is supposed to be, it really is incredibly isolating.
    I’ve had my fair amount of hesitation about this world lately, I love and enjoy it so much, but just like you said, sometimes it’s impossible not to compare to others…
    But you don’t need a tribe!
    I think it’s great to be part of a “community”… connect with the people whose blogs you admire, reach out and build a connection… they don’t all have to have the exact style or interests, just find common ground 🙂
    I am an expat, which means I left all my lifetime friends behind, and funnily, thanks to instagram I met those who I consider my best friends today.
    I think social media can be either amazing or terrible… depends of what each one of us makes of it.
    Also, you look great! Such a nice look for summer
    Ambitieuse Paris

  • dubliner in deutschland
    October 25, 2016

    That’s funny because when I look at your posts and instagram, I always think how polished and well put together you look! I’m not sure what I’d call your style, retro with a twist & feminine? I love wearing patterns like polka dots, stripes etc so I love seeing how you wear them 🙂

  • Erin
    October 25, 2016

    I’m moving to your house. My husband refuses to buy the correct (double-stuffed obviously) Oreos. He likes the COOKIE part. Blasphemous.

  • CiCi Marie
    October 25, 2016

    I’m not sure I fit too squarely into one tribe, or at least that neatly, as I don’t do head-to-toe retro either, but that’s ok with me. I kind of like getting inspiration from different places – some of it pin-up, some of it modern, some of it true vintage… To me that’s half the joy. So you can join my tribe of ‘none of the above’ and we’ll live happily ever after 😀

  • Lape
    October 25, 2016

    I’m looking for my tribe too 🙂

  • Selina
    October 25, 2016

    I call my style retro casual but I can’t seem to find my tribe either. I think there are many of us who fit inbetween these styles and are never quite one or the other

  • Sarah
    October 25, 2016

    I hightailed it over to your Instagram for the Oreo photo and deep down I knew it wouldn’t be there but I’m still disappointed. 😛 Also that bit made me laugh out loud. And the mashup you described is pretty my style, and I bet a lot of the other readers here, so maybe you’re building your own tribe? 🙂

  • Nickolina
    October 25, 2016

    Must we only have one tribe? If so, I want to be part of the Eclectic Humans.

  • Jessica Lee
    October 25, 2016

    And neither would be my retro/vintage-y casual during rainy season vs Bohemian Florence and the Machine during the dry hotter season. Yes, I come from somewhere near the Equator XD
    Anyway, I guess your readers mostly are the-not-to-fit-in-type? Folks who don’t belong to any specific tribes. So there. Now you have your tribe 🙂

  • Elizabeth Rose
    October 25, 2016

    BRB, seeing how many Oreos my husband can fit in his mouth. Thanks for the idea. 😛

  • Stacia
    October 25, 2016

    Finding a tribe is so hard. One thing that has helped me is not expecting my tribe to resonate with every aspect of who I am. We’re all unique, and that’s part of what can encourage us to grow. But they do need to resonate with you on at least a couple topics, ideas, or styles that are really important to you. 🙂 At least, that’s how I’ve gone about finding my tribes.

  • Luc
    October 26, 2016

    I kinda like that you are not the same as everyone else. That’s why I enjoy your blog 🙂

  • Emerald
    October 26, 2016

    Crikey, someone asked me who my trigger were and what my fashion statement was recently. I could only say the Unholy Alliance of Bon Scott and Miss Jean Brodie :p!!

  • Rotem
    October 26, 2016

    I’d join the “Women who are technically “grown ups”, but secretly still 15 years old in their own heads” tribe in a heart beat! Definitely where I belong.

  • Bonita Vear
    October 27, 2016

    “Women who are technically “grown ups”, but secretly still 15 years old in their own heads” ~ where is the signup sheet for this tribe and how do I get in?? I think tribes are a good idea for those that are looking to find a community where they share a common bond, but I also feel that could be so restricting… I’d rather just be friends with anyone who wants to be friends with me! Um, so any equestrian/vintage/kawaii/artist girls wanna hang? ❤

    bonita of Lavender & Twill

  • Paula, The Geeky Shopaholic
    October 27, 2016

    “Women who are technically “grown ups”, but secretly still 15 years old in their own heads?” – this tribe here! I would totally join! 🙂

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Finding Your Fashion Tribe