Five Dresses That Almost Made Me Cry
Oh, Chi Chi London: how COULD you?
Seriously, how could you taunt me with this dress? I mean, you know I can’t afford it, right? Well, actually, you DON’T: because you don’t even know me. You’re probably really confused right now, in fact. Sorry about that. But you know now: I can’t afford to buy this dress, OR, indeed justify the purchase of yet another one of your dresses… and yet still you insist on tempting me with the promise that if I just buy it anyway, my life will be transformed, and I’ll be JUST LIKE THIS MODEL, smugly looking down at the floor, safe in the knowledge that SHE’S the one wearing That Dress. God, I hate her right now.
And as if that wasn’t enough, you then have to add insult to injury by following it up with THIS:
It has just a touch of old-fashioned glamour to it, don’t you think? If I had THIS dress, I’d ALSO have a touch of old-fashioned glamour to me: and I’d magically know how to do Heidi braids, like this girl. No amount of You Tube tutorials have managed to teach me the magical art of braids – but this dress would. I just know it.
I could continue showing you Chi Chi London dresses until you yelled at me to stop, but it’s only fair to give someone else an opportunity to make me cry, too. Like ASOS, for instance. And this dress:
I’m showing you the side view of this one, because I really don’t think the photo they’ve used of the front does it justice – mostly because it looks like the model is wearing her older sister’s dress by mistake. In the right size, though, I think this has the potential to be a real stunner: not that I’ll ever find out, though, because HEAVY SIGH.
Miss Selfridge are also in on the act, with this little number:
Finally, my old friends Lindybop thought it wouldn’t be at all cruel to do THIS:
Which, honestly, would be SO perfect for New Year’s Eve that I can hardly stand it. It’s called ‘Jeckyl’ by the way: possibly because it has the power to turn innocent shoppers into Hyde? I think so.