The Good, The Bad & The Awkward
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post about some of the little things that had been annoying me (plus some of the things that had cheered me up), and fortune must have been shining on me that day, because only one person (On Facebook, natch. Because it’s always Facebook, isn’t it?) piped up to remind me that, actually, I’m not allowed to be annoyed by anything at all these days, because, PREGNANT.
Honestly, I thought I’d get WAY more than one person telling me that, so Internet, thanks for restoring my faith in humanity, and reading that post in the manner in which it was intended. And, the thing is, I actually quite liked using that particular format for a diary post, so I thought I’d turn it into a semi-regular series, in which I can talk about the various good, bad and just downright awkward things that have happened lately. So, here we go…
I have a new linen closet, and it’s pretty much the best thing ever
Well, OK, it’s actually just the same old linen closet we always had, and I still need to find some pretty storage boxes to fill it with and make it appropriately Pinteresting (If anyone’s seen any, around 40cm x 40cm and either plain white or grey, hook a girl up!), but oh my God, the difference it’s made to my life! I mean, it’s literally tripled the storage space available: this closet previously just had two wide shelves in it, so everything was crammed in together. Now there’s more space than I know what to do with, and you don’t hear me saying THAT very often, let me tell you. In other news, I seem to be gushing over a LINEN CLOSET, of all things, so I’m going to just move this one along…
(The photo, on the other hand, is NOT the best thing ever, on account on the hallway I had to take it from being very dark, and very narrow. The more I think about this, though, the more I think, “Dude, it’s just a cupboard, get over it already,” so you’ll live, I’m sure.)
I just love them. I was actually going to include them in my last Pregnancy Diary, as a “craving” but then I remembered that I pretty much ALWAYS crave Oreos, even when I’m NOT pregnant, so I guess it’s more of a “greed” thing than a pregnancy one. Oh, well.
Being shortlisted in the Scottish Blogger of the Year Category…
… at The Herald Fashion Awards. I mean, I have approximately zero chance of winning – especially given that I’m not actually a “proper” fashion blogger – but still: I normally don’t even get nominated for blogger awards, so that was a nice email to get, for sure.
I know I’m supposed to turn my nose up at IKEA, on account of how it’s just a bunch of cheap, mass-produced furniture that absolutely EVERYONE has, and, why, I only ever buy antiques, that were hand-carved by Tibetan monks, or whatever, but honestly? It turns out I just really like cheap, mass-produced furniture, I guess. I mean, look at this:
Is it a watering can? A vase? Damned if I know, but it was £4 in the “graveyard” section, so it was coming home with me, no questions asked.
(Actually, I bought it and then left it sitting at the checkout. The cashier had to come running out after me, shouting, “Pregnant lady in the green coat, you forgot this!” I should really have filed this one under “awkward,” now I come to think of it…)
Also, everyone enjoys playing ‘Let’s pretend to be Jon Snow’ in the rug section, right?
I thought so.
Seriously, WHY IS IT SO BAD? WHY? And, I mean, the PJs are OK, I guess. I’ve actually found some pretty cute maternity PJs. Everyone keeps telling me I’m going to need a nightdress for the hospital, though, and I’m going to need it to be, a) CHEAP (because of the copious bleeding, which will ruin it anyway), and, b) a very dark colour (see: ‘copious bleeding,’ above). All of my existing nightwear is pretty skimpy, to be honest, and I don’t really fancy sitting around in public (To me, hospital wards are “public”, as they’re filled with The Others…) in something super-skimpy, so I dutifully took myself off to Primark, in search of the cheap, dark nighties I’d been hearing about, and everything I found was either:
a) Very light in colour, and therefore no use for ALL THE BLEEDING.
b) Even MORE skimpy than my existing nightwear.
c) Covered in stupid cartoon characters.
So I hit up ASOS, and all I could find was stuff like this:
Now, I know everyone’s going to tell me I “just won’t care!” what I’m wearing when the time comes, but honestly, I don’t really want the very first photos with my newborn to feature the words, “BRA OFF, BUMP OUT,” know what I mean?
(Oh, and the other top piece of advice seems to be to, “Just wear one of your husband’s old t-shirts! Or one of your own!” which makes me suspect that Terry and I must be the only people in the world who don’t have random old clothes lying around for all of these ‘copious bleeding’ experiences?)
(I ended up getting a two-pack from Mothercare. They’re the ugliest items of nightwear I’ve ever owned, and they weren’t particularly cheap, either, so I am deeply resentful of this purchase. It’s kind of ruined shopping for me, if I’m honest. Also, I hated the hospital before, but I REALLY hate it now that it’s forced me to spend money on “little old lady” clothes…)
The mess in my house
My linen closet may be immaculate (Er, mostly because it’s pretty much EMPTY right now…), but the rest of the house? Yeah, not so much. There’s still piles o’ crap on every single surface, and it’s stressing me out SO much. I honestly can’t get over the fact that decorating ONE room is creating THIS MUCH MESS. Seriously, how is this happening?
The shower breaking down.
While I was in it, obviously: so, instead of the lovely, warm, comforting shower I was anticipating, I got to stand there freezing cold and dripping water all over the bathroom floor, while Terry muttered things like, “I just don’t know what you expect me to do?” and “You DO realise we have another shower in the house, don’t you?”
And, I mean, yeah, I DO realise we have another shower, so there was absolutely NO justification for the flood of tears that then commenced, but:
a) We have a Good Shower and a Bad Shower in the house. Guess which one broke?
b) I was having a particularly bad morning at the time.
c) PREGNANCY HORMONES.
I ended up having a bath, instead. And it was only once I was fully submerged that I realised I’d left my lovely, snuggly warm dressing gown hanging up in the OTHER bathroom. So THAT was awkward.
Speaking of which…
Finding out that ‘Netflix and Chill’ doesn’t LITERALLY mean ‘Netflix and chill’.
Because I totally thought it DID just mean that, and Terry laughed for a full five minutes when he realised I’d been taking it literally. And now I’m just wondering how many times I’ve said this to people, and what they’ve thought when I did…
To get back at him for laughing at me, though, I’m just going to leave this here:
He walked around like this all morning (Yes, in public) without either of us noticing. Now THAT’S awkward…
The certain knowledge that, having started this new series…
… it will undoubtedly also turn up on my stalker’s blog in a few months time. She will wait until I get bored and stop doing it, and then, totally by co-incidence, she’ll decide to start doing a series called, ‘The Good, The Bad & The Awkward,” on a Saturday morning. She will think no one will notice this “co-incidence”. She will be wrong.