red hair in autumn

Why is maternity nightwear so relentlessly awful?

 

 

 

Seriously, WHY IS IT SO BAD? WHY?

I mean, the PJs are kind of OK, I guess. I’ve actually found some pretty cute maternity PJs, so it’s not ALL bad. But everyone keeps telling me I’m going to need a nightdress for the hospital, though, and I’m going to need it to be:

a) CHEAP, because of the copious bleeding, which will completely ruin everything I wear, anyway.

and

b) a very dark colour, on account of the whole ‘copious bleeding” thing above.

All of my existing nightwear is pretty skimpy, to be honest, and I don’t really fancy sitting around in public (To me, hospital wards are “public”, as they’re filled with The Others…) in what is effectively my underwear, so I dutifully took myself off to Primark, in search of the cheap, dark nighties I’d been hearing about, and everything I found was either:

a) Very light in colour, and therefore no use for ALL THE BLEEDING.

b) Even MORE skimpy than my existing nightwear.

or

c) Covered in stupid cartoon characters.

So I hit up ASOS, and all I could find was stuff like this:

Why is maternity nightwear so bad?

Yeah.

Now, I know everyone’s going to tell me I “just won’t care!” what I’m wearing when the time comes, but honestly, I don’t really want the very first photos with my newborn to feature the words, “BRA OFF, BUMP OUT,” know what I mean?

(Oh, and the other top piece of advice seems to be to, “Just wear one of your husband’s old t-shirts! Or one of your own!” which makes me suspect that Terry and I must be the only people in the world who don’t have random old clothes lying around for all of these ‘copious bleeding’ experiences?)

Anyway, I ended up getting a two-pack from Mothercare. They’re the ugliest items of nightwear I’ve ever owned, and they weren’t particularly cheap, either, so I am deeply resentful of this purchase. It’s kind of ruined shopping for me, if I’m honest. Also, I hated the hospital before, but I REALLY hate it now that it’s forced me to spend money on hideous nightdresses…

COMMENTS
  • Myra

    REPLY

    Hahaha made me laugh all the way through. Did you find a purpose for that Ikea thing?

    October 21, 2017
    • Amber

      REPLY

      We’ll probably use it as a vase!

      October 21, 2017
  • Linda

    REPLY

    Cheap jersey dresses for dark nighties. Been there! Took me a while to wrap my head round it not being labelled nightwear though.

    October 21, 2017
  • Vanessa

    REPLY

    Have you thought of ikea’s drona, or flarra if you need drawers? They are kallax aka expedit inserts, and that’s 40×40 holes. Also hang up in there, anxiety type here had a baby eight years a lot and I relate a lot, you are brave! And I love your outfits, you deserve that nomination!

    October 21, 2017
  • Kara

    REPLY

    I am the queen of awkward!l/funny situations! One of my best most awkward moment happened a few months ago ago I was having my wedding dress tailored. The tailor is helping me get out of my dress when in walks the Prime minister to pick up his tailoring. Yes, i was standing in my wedding lingerie when I met the prime minister of my country.

    October 21, 2017
  • Jennifer

    REPLY

    Do you have Old Navy in the UK? They carry maternity nightwear and it’s cheap and the last time I looked at it not so ugly. But that was six years ago things really could have changed.

    October 21, 2017
  • YES TO THE NETFLIX AND CHILL!! I only just found this out about 2 months ago, and unfortunately, it was at the office that I found out – awkward! I was all like “I totally prefer to Netflix and chill on a Saturday night”, like, yes, I prefer to sit in front of the TV and do nothing except maybe eat some chocolate….yeh, turned out that wasn’t right!
    Love this series – looking forward to more! I did a couple of posts like this a few years ago called “Awkward & Awesome” because another popular blogger (cannot remember her name now!) used to do one too and have a link up on it – I always loved reading other peoples’!
    xx

    October 21, 2017
  • JoAnn Moran

    REPLY

    Glad you pointed out the Netflix thing, since I’ve been saying it to my high school students. I’m always the last to know because my mind just doesn’t work that way. Awkward!

    October 21, 2017
  • I’ve never understood the “you won’t care” sentiment… if you care in normal life, you will care even when giving birth. The first time I was passing a kidney stone, worst pain of my life (and which the nurse told me she had given birth and passed a stone, and the stone was miles more painful), I still cared to dress properly, fix my hair, and brush my teeth before going to the emergency at midnight.

    My husband does the same thing with the rugs at Costco, but I was just calling him Viking Husband, ha.

    And congrats on the nomination!!!!

    October 21, 2017
      • Linda

        REPLY

        I cared. I cared a lot. During labour too! No naked. Argh to randoms. No husbands at the business end.

        Take flip flops for the showers.

        October 21, 2017
  • Deanna

    REPLY

    Laughing my head off – I had NO IDEA that “netflix and chill” didn’t actually mean “netflix and chill” lol – just asked my kids and they told me the real meaning, while laughing at their old mother 🙂

    October 21, 2017
  • Brenda

    REPLY

    I didn’t know that Netflix and Chill meant THAT either, until my teenage kids advised me… very awkward, indeed!!! Love this series, look forward to more!

    October 21, 2017
  • I definitely love your linen cupboard excitement!

    I also love the timing of the Netflix and chill revelation. Literally had to explain that one to my boss yesterday.

    October 21, 2017
  • Well done on the nomination 🙂 ! Hope you walk away with the prize and a slap-up meal at the Grand Central into the bargain.

    The Ikea story made me laugh (I take it it wasn’t at the Braehead one!). Loving the thought of mix and matching Ikea with some authentic Tibetan monk handicraft. Come to think of it, I’d like some of those white storage units for our workshop along with a couple of chests of drawers. But my other half insists they’re “only decorative”. I disagree!

    October 21, 2017
  • Jessica

    REPLY

    I just came across your blog through Pinterest (How to style a Midi skirt) and loved it so much I decided to have a look at the rest of your blog. I absolutely love your writing style! I actually disturbed my boyfriend several times throughout reading this post from literally laughing out loud. So glad I came across your blog!! Absolutely love it and you seem such a lovely, interesting person! xxx

    http://www.jessicatonge.co.uk

    October 21, 2017
  • I love Ikea too, in fact I’m just home from there and built a stool all by myself! Take that arthritic hands. I think I got lots of my nightwear from Matalan, they do ones that you can button down which was handy for me while I breastfed.

    And is she still copying you! WE SEE YOU, STOP IT.

    xxx

    October 21, 2017
  • I too shudder at the idea of wards that are faurly public. I have already told my husband that if we ever have a baby, he is not allowed to take a single photo of me until I have put a ribbon in my hair, powdered my nose, and donned a sweet vintage bed jacket. I see these immediate post-birth photos on Facebook of sweaty red-faced mothers and wonder why you would want that shared with the world?! I would want to be like Scarlet O’Hara in Gone With the Wind. She had a particularly good bed jacket.

    October 21, 2017
    • Linda

      REPLY

      I had a bed jacket 😉
      And copious touché eclat.

      October 21, 2017
  • I ignored the dark colours advice and got a peach nightie from primark which I wore in the pool for a bit and amazingly I didn’t ruin it.

    My post birth one was a white and grey stripy one from Asda and it was really nice and had clippy straps for breastfeeding. And I had a nice light robe to cover it.

    Unfortunately I bled down the back of it and didn’t realise… forgot my robe and walked the length of the ward and back for my baby’s hearing test with a great big bloodstain on my bum.

    October 21, 2017
  • With you on the nighties – they’re awful, aren’t they?! I found an okay-ish one on Amazon (as in: it’s my kind of colours) but I don’t understand why they’re all so unflattering. That said, I had NO blood staining at any point during my last recovery – I bled lots, sure, but not on my clothes. And as for not caring what you look like? That’s DURING the birth – you’re going to look at the photos from the first few days A LOT; of course you’d like to look half-human in them. Oh, and no, Steve doesn’t have any enormous old T-shirts lying around, either – we’re roughly the same height; even if I could convince him to part with one of his T-shirts (not happening), they wouldn’t cover my bum.

    I swear I read the rest of this post, too…

    October 21, 2017
  • I’m reluctant to mention Vertbaudet because you WILL want to buy every single thing they sell for your baby’s room, but they have quite a good range of storage boxes in white and grey – nothing 40×40 that I could see unfortunately but maybe worth checking out: http://www.vertbaudet.co.uk/storage-decoration/storages/storage-boxes-baskets.htm?intnavid=h_storage-decoration_storage-boxes-baskets#AKPWBq7cHHV2tgO0.97

    October 21, 2017
  • OMG I didn’t know what Netflix and chill really meant either. I think I can pinpoint this moment in history as where I officially became old…

    October 22, 2017
  • Chiarina

    REPLY

    I haven’t read the whole post yet, I’ll get back to it in a second, but I just wanted to share my “nightdress for hospital” advice before I forget: I stumbled across a big, long, white cotton breezy button-down in the “everything 5 euros” section of a sale… Not only did I give birth to both my children in it, but the stains came out just fine, so much so that I love wearing it with skinny jeans or leggings in warm weather…

    October 22, 2017
  • Katie Davis

    REPLY

    Thank goodness you mentioned “Netflix and chill” – I’ve googled and will no longer be using it when talking to my teenage daughters ???

    October 22, 2017
  • Anna

    REPLY

    My sister wanted a nice nightie for hospital when my now 8yo niece was imminent. I searched high, I searched low, I searched in shops I wouldn’t consider for everyday wear but the only suitable one I could find was a particularly nasty 70s style pattern. My sister *said* she liked it but I have my doubts. Since then I have taken up nursing and my advice would be to buy 2 or 3 nighties which you like and a big tub of Vanish. Vanish gets any bodily fluid it out of white clothing and having a change or two means that you don’t have to worry.

    October 22, 2017
  • Probably a bit late now and I imagine you’ve checked everywhere but I got my maternity nightwear in Matalan – one with buttons down the front for easy breastfeeding access. The slogans / cartoon characters drove me NUTS when I was looking for things, good to see nothing has changed six years down the line… sigh!!!

    October 23, 2017
  • IKEA is brilliant! Don’t care what anybody else says. Plus, mix it with some of those Tibetan monk pieces and you’ve got a stylish eclectic look going. 🙂

    October 23, 2017
  • Hannah Clark

    REPLY

    Uh I’m so out of it… what is this Netflix and Chill stuff?

    October 23, 2017
  • Amber, you are not alone on the Netflix and Chill scenario. My best friend also didn’t know what it meant and invited a close male friend round for what she thought would just be a cosy night in. He thankfully caught on before things became trés awkward.

    October 24, 2017
  • Uh, I am the same, Netflix and Chill Netflix is LITERALLY mean ‘Netflix and chill till now.
    and IKEA is my favorite too, you will find some interesting every time you there.

    Tong ~www.kissprom.co.uk~

    October 25, 2017
  • Lindsay

    REPLY

    Just had to google ‘Netflix and chill’ – but then I’m 56 and don’t even have Netflix, so I’m forgiving myself that one! (And luckily I’ve never said it!) Love the post, you always make me laugh.
    From fellow Scot and officially uncoil wifie, Lindsay

    October 30, 2017
  • Cat

    REPLY

    Another blogger I follow who has just had a baby did a post on what she had in her hospital bag, and she had a cute hospital gown as her in-hospital nightie. She got it on Amazon.com, there’s a link on the page I think. Could be an option, not sure if you can get it on amazon.co.uk. The blog is https://seersuckerandsaddlesblog.com/2017/10/hospital-bag/

    November 6, 2017
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