Why is maternity nightwear so relentlessly awful?
Seriously, WHY IS IT SO BAD? WHY?
I mean, the PJs are kind of OK, I guess. I’ve actually found some pretty cute maternity PJs, so it’s not ALL bad. But everyone keeps telling me I’m going to need a nightdress for the hospital, though, and I’m going to need it to be:
a) CHEAP, because of the copious bleeding, which will completely ruin everything I wear, anyway.
b) a very dark colour, on account of the whole ‘copious bleeding” thing above.
All of my existing nightwear is pretty skimpy, to be honest, and I don’t really fancy sitting around in public (To me, hospital wards are “public”, as they’re filled with The Others…) in what is effectively my underwear, so I dutifully took myself off to Primark, in search of the cheap, dark nighties I’d been hearing about, and everything I found was either:
a) Very light in colour, and therefore no use for ALL THE BLEEDING.
b) Even MORE skimpy than my existing nightwear.
c) Covered in stupid cartoon characters.
So I hit up ASOS, and all I could find was stuff like this:
Now, I know everyone’s going to tell me I “just won’t care!” what I’m wearing when the time comes, but honestly, I don’t really want the very first photos with my newborn to feature the words, “BRA OFF, BUMP OUT,” know what I mean?
(Oh, and the other top piece of advice seems to be to, “Just wear one of your husband’s old t-shirts! Or one of your own!” which makes me suspect that Terry and I must be the only people in the world who don’t have random old clothes lying around for all of these ‘copious bleeding’ experiences?)
Anyway, I ended up getting a two-pack from Mothercare. They’re the ugliest items of nightwear I’ve ever owned, and they weren’t particularly cheap, either, so I am deeply resentful of this purchase. It’s kind of ruined shopping for me, if I’m honest. Also, I hated the hospital before, but I REALLY hate it now that it’s forced me to spend money on hideous nightdresses…