The tale of the green polka dot midi dress
You guys, there was a day without rain! I got to leave the house! And wear clothes that weren’t jeans! I had a coat with me in the car! But I actually didn’t really need it, because when the sun was shining it wasn’t even that cold! Now I can’t seem to stop writing like this! With all the exclamation points! And I hate exclamation points! No, seriously, somebody stop me!
Sorry, I got a little bit over-excited. It rained for about ten months, then there was this gloriously sunny day, and it felt a bit like being on holiday or something. But of course, we’re not here to talk about the weather, although you would be forgiven for thinking we were, given the amount of complaining I do about it. No, we’re here to talk about dresses: specifically dresses with sleeves, which are basically the Holy Grail of fashion, as far as I’m concerned.
See, I’m cold. Not in a mean, hard-hearted kind of way (although I guess it depends who you speak to…), obviously, but in a “Yes, I know I’m in Florida, and it’s approximately 200 degrees in the shade, but I think I’ll just take this cardigan with me all the same, in case I get chilly,” kind of way. And you know what? I almost always end up wearing the cardigan.
So, I feel the cold, is what I’m trying to say. And oddly enough (or perhaps not: I’m sure you will tell me), I feel the cold mostly in my arms and torso. If they’re warm, the rest of me will be warm too. But if they’re cold? Well, I could have hot water bottles strapped to my body, but if my arms were exposed, I’d still be freezing. (This is why I’ve never understood body-warmers/gilets etc. Super-padded torso, bare arms? Why is that even a thing?)
Enter the long-sleeved dresses. Now, for a long time, finding one of these really WAS like finding the Holy Grail. Over the last year or so, though, things have changed. The long-sleeved dresses have become easier to find. I’ve found quite a few of them, for instance. And I’ve bought them, rejoicing in the fact that they allow me to continue to wear my beloved dresses all year round, without having to do the dreaded layering. Praise be to the long-sleeved dresses! Long may they reign over us!
But… wait. “Wait there one cotton-pickin’ minute!” I hear you cry. “Why is she banging on about the wonders of the long-sleeved dress, when she’s wearing one with a stupid turtleneck over the top of it? What gives?!”
Ah, yes. The turtleneck. Well, you see, this is a long-sleeved dress. In fact, it’s a long-sleeved midi dress. Which is green. With polka dots. This dress is basically my spirit animal, in other words. I mean, if I were to die and come back as a dress, I’m pretty sure I’d be green, with polka dots. So when I bought the dress, I imagined it would rarely leave my body, and that we’d have tons of amazing adventures together. Unfortunately for me, though, I bought the dress back at the start of spring, and it’s very much a “spring” dress. The fabric, while nice and soft, is just a little too thin for the typical autumn/winter temperature (and also for the typical spring/summer temperature, if we’re being totally honest), so I had to resort to layering a sweater over it to allow me to wear it. And even MORE unfortunately for me, I failed to realise that the light indoors, even on a relatively “nice” day, is so poor at this time of year that what looked like two identical shades of green in my bedroom mirror, were a lot LESS identical in the harsh light of day. I’d like to say this is the first time I’ve made this kind of rookie mistake. I’d be lying.
Still, you win some, you lose some. (And actually, when it comes to green dresses, I LITERALLY lose some…) And at least I have an excuse to wear it again next spring, by which point you’ll have forgotten aaaaaallll about it…