Well, I’m still running around like a headless chicken, frantically trying to do an entire month’s worth of work in advance, so I can go on holiday without my laptop (I’m joking: AS IF I’d go on holiday without my laptop! And it’s been more like sitting around, to be honest, which is quite unlike a headless chicken, really. I can’t exactly blog while I’m moving, though, can I?), so here are some random snippets of things I don’t have time to write “proper” posts about…
The window cleaner left the gate open, Rubin saw his opportunity and took it. It was twenty minutes before Terry and I realised he was gone (we didn’t know the gate was open, obviously, so we assumed he was just out doing his usual in-depth examination of the garden) and, well, a lot can happen to a small dog, out in the big world all on his own for the first time, can’t it? I know this because my mum emails me at least once a week, with a link to some news story she’ll have found about people staking out houses with dogs, so they can steal the dogs for their own nefarious purposes… I’d always dismissed these fears, by telling my mum that anyone who tried to steal Rubin would no doubt bring him back as soon as they realised they essentially had a demanding, fur-covered toddler on their hands, but it’s amazing what you’ll believe when you’re running down the street in your slippers, screaming your dog’s name at the top of your lungs and praying he hasn’t made his way to the busy main road that’s just a couple of minutes’ walk from your house, isn’t it?
Well, he didn’t make it to the main road: actually, he only made it as far as the giant bush around the corner, which he is absolutely obsessed with (Any time I walk past it with him, he always has to stop and sniff it for a very long time. I don’t know what that bush does that’s so interesting to him, but damn, that bush is interesting to him…), but Terry and I, in our panic, decided to check all of the most dangerous places he could’ve gone first, so by the time I found him I was almost hysterical. Actually, no, scratch that: I was fully hysterical. But anyway, we found him, and he was absolutely fine, and we only lost a couple of years of our lives to The Panic. We will be double-checking the gate from now on…
I BOUGHT GINGHAM CAPRI PANTS
I’ve reached that stage in my holiday prep where I’m basically just panic-buying all the things. You know when you’re working out what you’re going to take, and suddenly you’re all, “But what if there’s a freak snow storm, and I haven’t packed anything for a freak snow-storm?!” Well, in my case it was more like, “What if I need a pair of red gingham capri pants, and I don’t have any with me?” Obviously no one wants to be in that position, so I took advantage of the Lindybop sale last week to order these guys, which, as you can see, have neatly solved that whole “no red gingham capri pants” problem. Whew! Another bullet dodged, there!
(I know what you’re thinking: what if I need a sleeveless white shirt to wear with them? I don’t have the answer to that one, folks, I really don’t. I don’t have the sleeveless white shirt, either. There’ll be no sleep for me tonight, that’s for damn sure…)
I JOINED SNAPCHAT
Actually, I joined Snapchat ages ago, but – and I’m aware this will make me sound all, “I can’t be doin’ with this newfangled nonsense! In my day we sent smoke signals, and that was good enough for us!” – I honestly couldn’t make head nor tail of it. I mean, I still haven’t even set a profile picture, as you can see, because it seems to only allow you to do it by taking a selfie, and I always look like Gollum in selfies. The thing is, I actually don’t consider myself to be particularly technologically challenged – I can normally find my way around an app just fine – so I’m kinda annoyed by the fact that every time I open Snapchat I’m all, “How does this even work? Why is there a ghost on my screen? Is that a picture of a turd?” But I am.
So, why I am even bothering with it? Er, dunno, really. I had a vague idea that I could Snapchat my holiday or something, but I also might not, unless it suddenly all starts making sense to me, so while I will tell you that you can follow me there if you like (I’m foreveramberuk. Because some filthy impostor is already using ‘foreveramber’: GAH.), I will also not be offended if you don’t. I, er, also don’t think I will KNOW, to be perfectly honest. So there’s that.
I FOUND THE PERFECT NUDE NAIL POLISH
It’s Essie ‘Sugar Daddy’ and I’m wearing it right now. I’d show you, but trust me, no one needs to see a close-up of my cuticles. (Maybe I will post one on Snapchat, though? Because that way I won’t know if you’ve seen it or not, and it’ll disappear in a few hours anyway, so it’ll be like it never happened? Is THAT what it’s for? ) Also because it’s one of those shades that are basically ‘Your Nails, but better”, so you probably wouldn’t notice the difference, anyway. You can take my word for it, though, it’s the best nude polish I’ve found, and I’ve been searching a long time, so I would not steer you wrong on this.
Aaaand, I think I’ll stop there. I actually sat down with the intention of this being a short post, but that whole “Rubin ran away” thing went on for longer than I expected. Sorry. Have a great weekend, everyone!