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Spring Capsule # 2 | The Blogging Paradox

pink skirt, grey sweater, pink shoes

pink bow bag with pink skirt, grey sweater and pink high heels

spring neautrals

Sometimes as a blogger, it’s hard not to feel like you’re being pulled in two or more directions, all at the same time.

One person tells you one thing, someone else tells you the opposite… How are you supposed to know who’s right and who’s wrong? For instance, here are some things I’ve heard people say bloggers “should” do…

Be relatable…

… but not so much that you’re just the same as everyone else: because if you’re exactly the same as everyone else, then why should anyone read your blog?

Better, then, to be somewhat aspirational…

… but not so aspirational that we can’t relate to you any more. Because if we can’t relate to you, why would we read your blog?

Re-wear your clothes: we like it when bloggers re-wear their clothes, because it’s relatable: and we like ‘relatable’!

Don’t re-wear your clothes so often that we get bored, though: don’t you think we’ve seen those shoes enough times, already? Wear something different for a change!

Make sure it’s something that’s affordable, though, and still available in shops!

We hate it when bloggers wear things we can’t afford, or can’t buy because it’s five years old: so make sure your clothes are relatively new, so we can copy them!

Stop shopping all the time, though!

Seriously, it’s not realistic to shop all the time: “real” people can’t afford to do that! Why can’t you just re-wear the clothes you already have?

Only if they’re still available to buy, though!

And not TOO often, because that’s boring: you have to have SOME new stuff!

Oh, you got that bag for free?

Well, you shouldn’t have accepted it: most of your readers can’t afford it, and WE don’t get our bags, for free: you should only accept items that are affordable, and not too often, because that’s relatable! In fact, you should buy your handbags yourself, really.

OMG, you bought ANOTHER handbag?

Seriously, why are you always shopping?!

You should have a skin thick enough to handle any kind of criticism thrown at you, no matter how unfair, ill-intentioned, or occasionally cruel it is…

…but not so thick that the criticisms just bounce right off you, without being absorbed and acted upon.

Your readers are your customers, and should be treated accordingly.

Don’t ever try to sell them anything, though, because your readers are your “friends”…

… until you do something that annoys them, and then they’re back to being “customers”, who get to tell you what to do.

Still customers that don’t want to buy anything, though. Obviously.

You must have a constant stream of new content available for people to read, because that’s your job, and you should take it seriously.

You mustn’t monetise that content, though, because it’s not like blogging is a “real” job, and your readers don’t want to see pesky adverts, or sponsored posts: you should be blogging for the love of it!

And so on, and so forth. I guess the final paradox is the one where you really want to take everyone’s feedback on board… but then everyone gives you such different advice that you don’t even know where to start.

So, where DO you start?

Simple: you trust your gut, go with your best instincts and do what works for YOU. You can’t please everyone, everyone, after all…

outfit from a spring capsule wardrobe

Outfit 2 from my Spring Capsule Wardrobe: ASOS dress; Zara sweater; Dune shoes; Red Valentino handbag*

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  • The Other Emma
    April 27, 2016

    I think an underrated skill of blogging is patience and grace in the face of the fact while PEOPLE are lovely individuals, the GENERAL PUBLIC (or in this case those who hide behind keyboards / screens) can be complete a*seholes at times.

    You can’t please everybody all of the time but always remember you look always look fabulous!! Love the grey and pale pink together.

  • Sian
    April 27, 2016

    Definitely agree with you on these! It can be SO hard being pulled both ways as a blogger, and definitely agree with the comment above about people hiding behind screens too and forgetting that we’re real people at the other end of it at the end of the day.
    Also I’m kind of stupid sometimes – I saw this outfit in the preview and was like, I HAVE to know where the skirt and top are from…then realised it was a dress I definitely already own, and a jumper I think I also might own (does it have a kind of keyhole back?). If so, apologies in advance but I’m totally stealing this outfit idea ;D

    • Amber
      April 27, 2016

      It doesn’t have a keyhole back, no, just a plain one – steal away, though!

  • Sagan
    April 27, 2016

    Isn’t this the truth!

    And this: “you trust your gut, go with your best instincts and do what works for YOU. ” —> yes!

  • Charlotte Lane
    April 27, 2016

    L O V E the outfit!! Loved this post as well – how do you cope with being ‘pushed and pulled’ (not really sure what to call it and this is the first thing that came to mind haha..) in regards to the above comments? 🙂 xo

    Char | http://www.charslittleblog.blogspot.co.uk

    • Amber
      May 4, 2016

      I have another post planned on this – hopefully soon 🙂

  • char
    April 27, 2016

    I spend a good lot of my time ignoring all of those “tips to be a better blogger” posts, as I don’t aspire to be a PRO blogger. I like the freedom to write about the things I like, share the photos I want to, and not worry so much about the RULES. But that said, I do totally understand what you mean about opposing points of view and opinions on the right way to do things. I think that’s true with so many things but it becomes even more unavoidable online because people can direct their comments right at you.

  • Jenny
    April 27, 2016

    You look so pretty in this outfit, and your post made me laugh out loud. I have often thought the same things when reading fashion blogs, wondering how bloggers can possibly please everyone.

  • Erika
    April 27, 2016

    Well said!

  • Porcelina
    April 27, 2016

    This gave me a good chuckle! Xx

  • Steph
    April 27, 2016

    Ha, this is so aptly timed for me as I’ve just made my team do 360 feedback for me at work and this is exactly how it read! I think our generation have a tendency to be a wee bit self absorbed sometimes – people seem to assume that everyone else is completely in tune with what they’re thinking even if they’ve never vocalised it before or it completely contradicts something they said 5 minutes ago. I know so many people who just can’t seem to grasp that not everyone thinks and feels the same as they do. I’m kind of relieved to know that people in all sorts of jobs find the same though, I try to remind myself that you can’t please anyone but sometimes it makes you feel like literally nothing you do is right! Anyhow, in the couple of years I’ve been reading your blogs I’ve had no complaints, keep doing what you do, we love it! X

  • Heather
    April 27, 2016

    I love the way you seem to approach all the nuance of blogging: with class, professionalism, and humor 🙂

  • Julia
    April 27, 2016

    Totally agree! Love your style! Great outfit!

  • Sarah
    May 5, 2016

    Love this post! Just an FYI, as a fair skinned girl I’ve always been told to steer clear of the light colors like this pink (my favorite color btw :)), But it looks sooo good on you! I need to buy that skirt!!! But why stop there? I’ll take it all! 🙂 Who cares what people say when you’re totally rocking it?!

    • Sarah
      May 5, 2016

      Seriously though, I just cannot get over this outfit 🙂 LOVE IT!!!

  • Suzanne
    May 8, 2016

    It is even worse when you are trying to promote the idea of sustainable recycled thrifted or vintage fashion. None of it is available for purchase and people don’t understand the concept when you aren’t encouraging prolific unsustainable mass consumerism.

    Opportunities to monetize a blog are few and far between when you aren’t promoting fast fashion, and let’s be honest, 99% of it is fast fashion.

    The whole idea of fashion blogging has become one massive marketing machine designed to make people spend more and care less. This is a direct response the public’s desires, mass consumption of pretty images based on totally unrealistic Photoshopped, heavily edited and styled photographs that don’t represent real life. The impossible dream of, “If I own that skirt my life will be perfect, I’ll be eating macaroons for breakfast lunch and supper without gaining an ounce and my insane IG numbers will validate the fantastic person I have become.” It is all a fairy tale designed to fuel the economic machine of careless consumption based on false realities.


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Spring Capsule # 2 | The Blogging Paradox