Hey! You there with the awesome blog! I’m talking to you!
Wait: you DO know your blog is awesome, don’t you? Actually, probably not. Because if there’s one thing I know about bloggers, it’s that we constantly compare ourselves to OTHER bloggers, and never run out of things we wish we could do better. And if there’s one thing I know about… well, PEOPLE, basically… it’s that many of them find it easier to criticise than to praise, so they might love almost everything you do, but if there’s one thing they DON’T love, THAT’S the thing they’ll choose to tell you about. Not always, obviously: but often enough for you to feel like you can do no right, and that you may as well give up this blogging lark altogether, and go and get a REAL job, herding sheep, or sweeping chimneys, or whatever it is that normal people do for a living these days.
Um, I’m talking about myself here, obviously – and the very real fear that I might have to one day start sweeping chimneys, while grinning impishly, and saying, “cor blimey!” a lot. Look, it could happen, OK?
Anyway! Today I’m here to spread a bit of happiness, by telling you some of the things I love about your blog. Think of me as a kind of fairy Godmother figure: a really glamorous one, obviously, with amazing shoes. Here you go…
Your blog looks amazing: has it been working out?
I know it’s superficial of me to care about what your blog looks like, but I can’t help it – I AM superficial, and I DO care. It’s OK, though, because YOUR blog looks awesome: it’s clean and uncluttered, and I can find everything right away, without having to spend a lifetime searching for whatever piece of information I’ve suddenly become curious about. Speaking of which…
I feel like I know you (but I promise I’m not stalking you…)
I love mystery books, but I’m not so keen on mystery blogs: you know the ones where the blogger cuts off their head in photos and always refers to their significant other as “My Snooky-Wookie-Diddums”, because there’s some top-secret reason why we can’t know their name? Look, I get that people value their privacy (especially where OTHER people are concerned), but when it gets to the point where I feel like I’m snooping on something the blogger would prefer me not to see, or when the blog has absolutely zero personality to it, I’m out. You’re not like that, though: you don’t over-share (because that can be equally off-putting), but you do let me enough about you to feel like I know you a little: like, we could almost be friends, if it wasn’t for this pesky computer screen that separates us. Um, am I sounding like a stalker? That’s why you won’t tell me your dog’s name, isn’t it? I KNEW IT.
You have a different take on things
Over the next few weeks, I’m going to read no end of gift guides filled with bubble bath and cosy socks and all the usual suspects. You, however, either don’t do one at all (because you figure there’s more than enough of that sort of thing already), or you do a gift guide filled with lots of really unique things, that I’d never have thought of for myself. And all the rest of your content is like that, too: whatever you do, you give it your own little twist, which makes it a whole lot more interesting.
You update often
I’m kinda demanding as a blog reader, to be honest: if I like you, I want to hear from you pretty often. You don’t have to update every day, obviously (YOU TOTALLY DO, THOUGH. Whoops, sorry, slipped into ‘stalker’ mode again, there…), but I appreciate the fact that you update often enough for me not to forget about you…. AS IF I WOULD.
I have something in common with you
Some bloggers are amazing writers, with fabulous sites… but I still don’t read them, because I just don’t relate to them. You don’t have to be EXACTLY like me to make me want to read your blog: I mean, if you’re a 5’4″ Scottish redhead with a love of bichon frise puppies, coffee and 50s style skirts, that’s definitely going to help, no point pretending otherwise. But you don’t really need all that: I just have to have SOMETHING in common with you, even if it’s just a sense of humour, or a shared dislike of winter. It also helps if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t mind admitting when they mess up, or feel a bit crappy – that’s something we ALL have in common sometimes, right?
You can write.
I mean, you don’t have to be Shakespeare: in fact, I’d rather you weren’t, because all of the hithering and thithering, and anon-ing and whatnot would start to get seriously annoying after a while. You also don’t have to be a “self-confessed grammar nazi”, because trust me when I tell you, there is NOTHING more tedious than someone who spends their lives picking apart other people’s grammar just to prove how perfect they are in comparison. NOTHING. So I can live with your split infinitives and non-adherence to the strictest of rules regarding grammar: what I can’t live with is constant, basic errors, or a refusal to use spellcheck on principle. I love the fact that your writing is always clear and easy to understand, and that you don’t write all in lower-case, or centre your text – it makes your blog so much easier to read!
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There are tons of other things I love about your blog, obviously, but I don’t want to give you a big head (or make myself sound like even more of a stalker), so I’m going to stop there. Go and give yourself a pat on the back, though – you totally deserve it!