So, you all knew I’d get the Topshop skirt, right? I mean, there was never REALLY any doubt, was there?
Actually, I didn’t intend to buy it. No, really, I didn’t. When I published that post, I was firm in my resolution NOT to buy the skirt: I also thought it would sell out within a day or two, and then the danger would pass, I’d forget about the skirt, and Terry wouldn’t look at me with that, “Seriously? ANOTHER skirt?” expression he says he doesn’t have, but which he totally does. (Only he calls skirts “dresses” for some reason. I don’t know why. We’ve been over it again and again – I’ve even offered to draw him some diagrams if he needs them, but no, still he calls the skirts “dresses”. WHY?)
Then I went to visit my parents, and had the following conversation with my mum:
MUM: Oh! I got an email from you last week! It was quite strange, actually – it came up as ‘Forever Amber’, rather than just ‘Amber’, but it was about a Topshop skirt, so I thought, ‘I bet Amber wants me to take up the hem of that Topshop skirt!'”
ME: I didn’t send you an email about the Topshop skirt?
MUM: Well, I got one. From ‘Forever Amber’.
ME: Mum, are you subscribing to my posts via email?
MUM: I call Tupac ‘Six Pack’. Do I look like I know how to subscribe to your posts by email?
ME: You’re totally subscribing to my posts by email. You can unsubscribe if you want. Don’t, though. Because every time someone unsubscribes, I lose a year of my life to grief.*
MUM: So, do you want me to take up the skirt?
ME: I don’t own the skirt. Seriously, do you even read my posts?
MUM: Why don’t you own the skirt? It was a GREAT skirt. I would buy the skirt if I were you.
ME: [*Buys the skirt*. Because that is LITERALLY all it takes to persuade me to buy a skirt. Sorry, Terry.]
Anyway, I bought the skirt, and it’s even better than I thought it would be, because when I saw it on the website, as much as I loved it (enough to buy it, obviously), I thought it was going to be that kind of cotton that wrinkles easily, and gets covered in lint the second you put it on. It’s not, though: I don’t really know how to describe it, but it’s a really thick, kind of woven fabric, which doesn’t pick up lint, and which came out of the shipping bag totally crease free.
I took the photo above approximately three minutes after it arrived (literally, I mean) (And if you know me, you know I only ever use ‘literal’ in the, er, literal sense of the word. Not in the figurative sense of the word, like a lot of people do. “I literally died!” LOLZ.) and you can see for yourself that it’s totally un-creased. Also that I look kinda dazed. The reason I managed to take this photo so quickly was because I had the camera set up to photograph something (which you’ll be seeing… sometime. I bet the suspense is killing you, huh?), so I’m basically all, “What even is this? One minute I was behind the camera, now all of a sudden I’m in front of it? Is this the real life? Or is this just fantasy?”
(I really wish I’d moved the iPhone cable from the floor before taking this. And taken off my Fitbit. Regrets, I’ve had a few…)
Anyway. I’m wearing my usual size in the skirt in the photo, but it was a little bit large in the waist, so after taking this photo I changed back out of it, then I went and ordered the size down, to compare them. Then I went downstairs and ate dinner. Then I loaded the dishwasher, wiped down the counters, unloaded the washing machine and did some ironing. I realise no one cares about any of this, but hey: I’ve given you all of the other mundane details of this particular event, so why not those?
Sorry. As I said, I’ve ordered the size down, but I’ve yet to return the original, because I want to compare them. This is the one downside of online shopping: if it doesn’t fit right, you have to mess around with ordering other sizes, then returning the one that didn’t work. I suspect I’m probably going to end up with one of those annoying, “Usual size is too large, size down is too small” situations, which will be just GHASTLY, really, but we’ll see. I will report back next week, in the next thrilling instalment of When Will Amber Stop Talking About That Stupid Topshop Skirt. **(“NEVER” is the answer, by the way. I will never stop talking about it. In fact, in order to justify its purchase, every single week I will write ANOTHER post about the Topshop skirt. Soon I will be known as ‘That Girl With the Topshop Skirt’. Just you wait and see.)
Honestly, if I’d known this ENTIRE post was going to end up being about that skirt, I’d seriously have tried to take a better photo of it. I actually sat down to write a weekly roundup, though, of which the skirt would be just one part. It’s almost like the skirt POSSESSED me or something. Can that happen? Is skirt possession a thing? Because that would have made a MUCH better excuse than “my mum made me do it”, wouldn’t it?
Oh! I also meant to show you the contents of the latest Birchbox, which is actually a BirchBAG this time:
The bag is clear, so you can use it to take your liquids through security at the airport, and not have to do that whole “getting to security, realising you forgot to pick up a “baggie”, having to go back and get one, then empty out all your stuff and re-pack it” thing. Anyway, the collection itself is a good ‘un, and as you can see, one of the items I received was another make-up sponge, which means I’ve gone to no make-up sponges at all, to three of the things, in just over a week: score! (This one has helped me confirm that the Beauty Blender is, indeed, a better sponge – it seems to soak up water better, which makes it easier to use. This one is also good, though, and because it’s smaller, it’s handy for things like blusher, highlighter etc.)
I also liked the Benefit Dream Screen, which is an SPF 45 sunscreen, and way less runny than the Chanel one I bought, so I kinda wish I’d got this instead now. The surprise hit was the Jelly Pong Pong ‘Go Getter’, which is supposed to be used on the cheekbones and brow as a highlighter: it’s too dark for me to use it like that, but I’ve been using it on my eyelids as a cream shadow, and really like it. Other than that, I have no other news from this week, so I’ll stop talking now. Remember you can get 5% off your Birchbox subscription with the code SUMMERFA!
*This is totally true, by the way.
** EDIT: OK, it arrived, and I’m keeping the smaller one. So I really WILL stop talking about this now.