Under a Dark Cloud

Here’s what happened last night:

It’s not frost, it’s SNOW. This was taken at 6am, when Rubin woke us up with his patented “Yapping at 6am for no reason whatsoever” manoeuvre. By the time we actually got up, it had melted, but even so, people, EVEN SO.

This is bad. It’s very, very bad. It’s particularly bad because lately I’ve been feeling like a dark cloud is hanging over me. And that’s because there IS a dark cloud hanging over me: it’s the Ash Cloud O’Doom from the Eyjafjallajökull Volcano, or “That Stupid Freaking Volcano That Wants to Ruin My Life”, as it’s known in my house.

(This is going to be one of those really whiny, bratty posts I  write sometimes a lot. Don’t say you weren’t warned.)

I’m convinced the volcano is going to stop me going on holiday. (Now THERE’S a line I never thought I’d write). Absolutely convinced. Seriously, I haven’t even bought new shoes for the trip or anything, that’s how convinced I am that we won’t be going. And sure, we don’t leave until the end of the month, so the world still has a couple of weeks to sort itself out, but the thing is, it doesn’t really look like it’s going to bother, does it ? No, it looks more like that freaking volcano is just going to keep on belching out ash, and that it’s going to do it PURELY to ruin my holiday/life. And rather than basking in the sun for three weeks, I’m going to shiver in the SNOW instead, and also have no money, because I spent it all on a holiday I can’t take.

If that happens, I am going to FREAK THE HELL OUT. I mean, like I’ve never freaked out in my life before. I’m actually starting to do it now. In fact, I feel a bit like a volcano myself right now, and trust me, if I blow, YOU WILL KNOW ABOUT IT.

I should put in a disclaimer here to make me sound like a vaguely reasonable person, even although I’m not in the least bit reasonable, ever. Here it is:

I know safety has to come first. I’m terrified of flying – absolutely terrified – so trust me when I say that the last thing I want is to be sitting in a tin can that’s plummeting towards the earth at a million miles an hour ON FIRE, just because everyone ignored the Ash Cloud O’Doom. I know it’s no one’s fault, even although I’d dearly like to be able to blame someone, and it’s at times like this I wish I believed in God. I also know that there are people in a far worse situation than me when flights get cancelled: people who miss weddings and funerals, and people who might even miss out on the chance to have their lives saved because either they can’t get to the hospital, or the surgeon can’t, or whatever.

I know all of these things. And I still want to scream like a baby, because IT SNOWED IN MAY, people.  MAY. May is normally the nicest month of the year in Scotland. This year? Yeah. The best case scenario now is that we get to Florida, THEN the ash cloud gets really, really bad, and we can never come home again, ever. That would be awesome, because right now, if I never saw snow again, it would be too soon. If our flight gets cancelled, meanwhile, I think I will try to swim there. I’m not even joking.

(P.S. If even one person tells me they’re “SO JEALOUS!” of the snow, I swear my head will explode. It’s like being jealous of someone who just lost a limb, seriously.)

COMMENTS
  • I’m not jealous of the snow. I AM jealous of the Florida holiday which I ABSOLUTELY BELIEVE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO TAKE.

    You will.

    So there.

    Yes.
    .-= Alex´s last blog ..Election 2010: Do Ealing’s candidates have a good online presence? =-.

    May 12, 2010
  • My parents flew to Las Vegas on Monday. It was all fine, they were just delayed by an hour and a bit while they figured out a new route round the ash cloud. And they come back on the first of June. It will be fine, they've reduced the safety levels a bit. And I'm assured that mum's flight was perfectly fine. The snow in May, though, yeah that sucks! I think we've had what passes for summer over here now.
    .-= Alex´s last blog ..Shoeper Shoe Challenge #2 =-.

    May 12, 2010
  • I’ve got fingers and toes crossed, you definitely need a holiday! That’s the annoying thing about this ash cloud thing though, the unpredictability of it…I’m flying home to old NI on Sunday and while I won’t lose out much money if my flight is cancelled, I will lose out on being able to see my family as this is the only time I can go because work has been so mad. I’m fretting in the same way that you are, even though I know it’s really unlikely to affect me.

    Also, snow? SUCKY. I am most certainly not jealous, although it’s none too warm here in the midlands either (I have just resentfully unpacked my tights)
    .-= Roisin´s last blog ..What’s brought all this on? Killing that man? =-.

    May 12, 2010
    • Hmph. I may have jinxed myself because my flight today? CANCELLED. I’m booked on another one for tomorrow, but I’m trying not to get too hopeful. Damn you Volcano! Damn ALL the volcanos!
      .-= Roisin´s last blog ..I am so amazing… if I ever get off this couch, I’ll be unstoppable. =-.

      May 16, 2010
        • Well, the cloud of doom does seem to be on the move – I’m not that hopeful that I will be able to fly tomorrow and, as my flight back is booked for Friday it seems pointless to go home any later than Tuesday…but maybe I can rearrange leave. It’s so disappointing, but it is moving – I’ll be thinking about you and hoping it doesn’t affect you and Terry x
          .-= Roisin´s last blog ..I am so amazing… if I ever get off this couch, I’ll be unstoppable. =-.

          May 16, 2010
  • Agree with everyone here that snow really, really sucks.

    After this winter, I now hate snow so much that I’m moving my family, my mum and the business to the other side of Scotland to live by the seaside.

    Seem totally reasonable to me 🙂

    p.s flying to Vegas in July and totally on “Volcano Watch” even though it’s 8 weeks away. If I don’t get to go holiday – There. Will. Be. Blood 🙂

    May 12, 2010
  • Shoes not blues

    REPLY

    I personally loath snow so much that I like to refer to it as “the devil’s dandruff”. I am a believer, you see.

    May 12, 2010
  • Chloe

    REPLY

    I fly to Vegas on June 15 and I’m convinced the ash cloud will stop me going. I will throw a tantrum if this happens! I’m sure we’ll all be fine though. *fingers crossed*

    May 12, 2010
  • Carrie

    REPLY

    I share your pain 🙁
    I fly out to Florida on 11 June and wake up this morning to hear that all flights to the US from Birmingham are cancelled!!! Not good 🙁

    May 12, 2010
      • Carrie

        REPLY

        We're currently orange according to the BBC with that old chestnut of "Check with your airline before departing". I honestly don't mind if I get stranded in Florida, but there will be trouble if I can't get there in the first place!!

        Flying from Glasgow is unlucky! They have definitely been closed more than everyone (please don't panic!) but they are green for go at the moment 🙂

        You'd think with all the technology we have they'd find a way to "turn off" the volcano!

        May 12, 2010
  • Robyn

    REPLY

    I am jealous. Not of the snow-we are still getting plenty of that stateside (and rain. OH GOD THE RAIN). However, I am jealous of how many vacations you seem to take. Seriously, it’s like you take one every couple of months. Yet everyone I know here only takes one or two a year-if that. My father and I can’t even take enough time off to go see my Grandpa in the hospital (four states away). I wish I could get up and just go across the ocean as often as you do. So feel lucky, I’m sure even if this is canceled you’ll be able to reschedule for later.

    May 13, 2010
  • Erik (Sorrento)

    REPLY

    The snow and cold weather will make the holiday much more satisfying. (You with me on this?)

    And the volcano could turn out to be a GOOD thing.

    When I was in Miami Beach last month, I was hanging with a British couple who were stranded there because of the volcano. Their holiday became about 10 days longer than planned. It wasn’t the worst place in the world for someone from a northern place to be stuck so they were happy.

    May 13, 2010
    • Terry

      REPLY

      Ya for being stranded in the US, hopefully long enough to be a part of the next illegal alien amnesty 😉

      May 13, 2010
  • ahh that picture really scares me. you need to get away from there. Snow in May is not acceptable! AT least it melted before you really had to be awake.

    May 13, 2010
  • Megan

    REPLY

    It snowed here (saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada) at the beginning of the month, and it’s FINALLY getting sunny. I will CRY if it snows again. But we pretty much have 2 seasons here, 9 months of winter then 3 of summer.

    May 13, 2010
  • Rock Hyrax

    REPLY

    Your volcano description makes Iceland sound like Mordor! 😉

    I also find snow particularly annoying when it falls at the wrong time of year (which is about any time other than the first two weeks of January).

    May 13, 2010
  • Mayday

    REPLY

    Hey Amber, this is kind of an aside…

    I have been reading this blog for a while and I think you are an awesome writer and a really smart girl. I enjoy this blog because of its opinions and personal reflections, and you’re a great writer. But I was thinking, it seems like whenever I come here there are a lot of posts with negativity… this blog is completely your own and I’m not at all dictating to you what you should write, but maybe you could address this. I know that negative parts of life are in a way easier to write about, and hearing someone cheer constantly about how awesome their life is can get annoying, but it just seems like a slanted view of reality that I’m sure you don’t carry around in the offline world.

    I like how you discuss certain topics with readers, but even so, it’s often complaining about trolls, bad weather, rude people, bad companies… I don’t know – if you have the following and power to direct people’s conversations, wouldn’t it be nice to also discuss positive things? It feels like us vs. them sometimes.. the stupidity of the outside world vs. the common sense of you and the blog’s readers.

    May 18, 2010
  • Mayday

    REPLY

    The title of this post made it seem like a fitting place to ask this.

    May 18, 2010
  • Mayday

    REPLY

    Thanks for the kind reply, Amber. I can understand where you’re coming from.

    May 19, 2010
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