How I became a professional blogger

The Awkward Girl’s Guide to Procrastination

What do you do to procrastinate?

Yesterday my parents had Max for the day, which meant that, once I’d come back from one of my regular trips to the dentist (More on that very soon…), I had roughly five hours in which to clean the entire house (Well, the bits of it I can reach, given the current ‘building site’ situation, anyway…), unload the dishwasher, do a load of laundry, change the bedsheets, and, oh yeah, write all of this week’s AND next week’s blog posts, because we’re going away for a few days next week, so I won’t have time to do it then.

Naturally, then, I spent most of the afternoon on Creative Market, playing around with fonts, instead. Because, seriously, guys, I LOVE fonts. In fact, at one point I had so many of them on my computer that it slowed it down to the point where it barely worked. When Terry looked at it, he was all, “Er, why do you have 17,765 different fonts on this thing?” and the only reasonable answer to that is, “Why WOULDN’T I?”

Typography, however, is only one of the many ways I chose to procrastinate. Right now, for instance, I STILL need to change the bedsheets, but I’m writing this blog post instead. So… I’m procrastinating by writing about procrastinating, basically. I have a feeling those sheets won’t be getting changed tonight, somehow. Just to be sure of that, though, here are some other ways I like to waste time…

Los Angeles, CaliforniaBrowsing WordPress themes

I mean, as I blog on WordPress, I guess I could try to pass this one off as “work”. It isn’t, though: it’s actually more like a hobby, really, and any time Terry catches me doing it, he’ll roll his eyes and tell me that there is NO WAY IN THIS WORLD that we’re changing the WordPress theme YET AGAIN. And I’ll be all, “Well, OBVIOUSLY we’re not changing the theme again, what do you take me for?!” but secretly I’ll be wondering if I could maybe start another blog without telling him just so I can use that great theme I just found.

Reading conspiracy theories online

I go through phases with this one. Sometimes I can go cold turkey for months and not even THINK about conspiracy theories, while other times I’m more like, “Cancel all my appointments, I’ve found a forum where people are discussing this thing, and I’m going to need a few days to collate my information…”

Current obsession: what happened to Madeleine McCann? After speaking to my brother-in-law about this while we were on holiday in December, I fell down an internet rabbit hole, and I could probably now go on Mastermind with this as my specialist subject. (Either this or ‘Neighbours Plots from 2010 – 2018’: I’m undecided…) I mean, I’ve read police transcripts and everything, guys: I wonder why the police haven’t called me in to discuss my findings? *

(* I have no actual “findings”. It’s not been for the lack of research, though…)

Lurking on the Mumsnet AIBU forum

I first started checking out Mumsnet’s pregnancy forum when I was pregnant with Max, and looking for some kind of miracle cure for morning sickness. I didn’t find one, unfortunately, but I DID find the ‘Am I Being Unreasonable?’ forum, which is where people post questions about particular situations they’ve found themselves in, and then everyone basically fights to the death over whether or not they’re being unreasonable. The saga of the Mumsnet poster whose neighbour kept parking on her driveway got me through a particularly bad bought of nausea one day, and after that, I was hooked. I don’t have time to read it nearly as often these days (Mostly because I’m much too busy reading conspiracy theories, natch…), but when I do check in, it’s always entertaining. Hey, I wonder if they also have a conspiracy theories forum?!

Answering questions on Instagram stories

Large pile of laundry calling your name? Fear not: just jump onto Instagram and post the ‘Questions’ sticker on your Stories. An hour later you STILL have a large pile of laundry calling your name, but the people who follow you on Instagram now know what your favourite food is, so at least that’s something, no?

On a serious note, as well as being a fun way to pass the time on a long car journey, say (Er, assuming you’re the passenger, obviously…), I also find this quite a useful way to find out what my readers/followers are actually interested in reading about. In my case, it turns out that my followers are mostly interested in things I know absolutely nothing about, unfortunately (ME: What would you like to see on my parenting/lifestyle blog? EVERYONE: How about something on climate change? Or tropical fish keeping, maybe?*) (*OK, that’s a slight exaggeration. And, actually, I DO know a thing or two about tropical fish keeping, on account of how, when we first moved in together, Terry immediately bought a giant fish tank and put it in our living room…), so, good to know.  I guess.

Instagram Stories in general is an awesome way to procrastinate, though, isn’t it? Seriously, what did we do without it? Other than work, socialise in person, and generally be useful, productive members of society, I mean?


More posts to procrastinate with:

14 things that tell me I am not a real grown-up

16 things I do that my husband finds weird

6 things that make me irrationally angry

6 things other people love but I hate


Organising things that don’t really need to be organised

If the things actually DO need to be organised, I probably won’t do it, because that’s something you KNOW is going to take hours, and when it comes to procrastinating, you really want something you can tell yourself will only take five minutes, even although it then ends up taking the rest of your life. Amiright?

Playing Pocket City

Pocket City is an app which is basically a rip-off of Sim City, but easier. Terry introduced me to it last summer, and I spent a brief – but intense – couple of weeks pretending I needed to use the bathroom, just so I could lock myself in there for a few minutes and continue building my city. I don’t play any more, because I ended up building the best, most beautiful city ever, and then, once it was done, I was absolutely FURIOUS with myself, because what would I do to waste time now, huh? HUH?

Looking at the ASOS ‘New In’ section

ASOS  is one of those online stores that can be quite overwhelming when you’re looking for something in particular, because there’s just SO MUCH STUFF on it that it’s hard to know where to start, sometimes. Or, I mean, I’m assuming that’s the case, anyway: it’s not overwhelming to me, because I look at the ‘new in’ section [affiliate link] every single day, and commit all of the new stock to memory. ‘Things I Saw On ASOS’ could be another potential ‘Mastermind’ subject for me, now I come to think of it…


There are lots more where that little lot came from, obviously, but I really DO have to go and deal with those bedsheets now (I am 100% going right back to looking at fonts the second I finish this post…), so I’m going to end this one here, and hand it over to you:

What are your favourite ways to procrastinate?
  • I never started on conspiracy theories, otherwise I would probably never leave the house again! I do however come up with a new big project in my mind whenever I really, REALLY need to finish something and start doing the “research” for when I am finally free to do it. Which of course never happens, because in order to be free to do it, I would need to finish what I am putting of…

    Anne|Linda, Libra, Loca

    March 7, 2019
  • Oh goodness, I so feel you about the conspiracy theories. I spent an entire 6 hours train trip in February reading forums on what “really” happened to the victims of a famous crime in Spain back in 1992… Just to find out Netflix is launching a documentary this year and now I am counting down the days to the release, instead on counting down for GoT which makes me feel a total outsider.

    But detective stories aside, isn’t it fun how much we all need to procrastinate these days? Sometimes, I feel like we spend the whole day working or in duty, and we don’t enjoy quality time with ourselves or our families anymore. Procrastinating feels like a survival strategy to me.

    March 7, 2019
  • Hannah


    If you like that mumsnet forum you should check out ‘Just No MIL or Just No Family’ on reddit its an internet rabbithole of horrifying family stories. ?

    March 7, 2019
  • Myra


    Displacement activities can be fun

    March 7, 2019
  • May


    I’m a googler. I will just find anything even remotely interesting to research and then let myself fall down the rabbithole of search engines. I’ve even given up trying to find excuses for myself on why I do it, I just admit I’m curious and don’t actually want to do what I should. The upside is, I’m never lacking on fun facts to randomly throw at people!

    March 8, 2019
  • Erin


    Right now it’s Pokemon Go, but before that it was Candy Crush, before that it was Lumosity, before that it was Sudoku, before that it was Neopets, and so on and so on šŸ˜‰

    March 8, 2019
  • Fantastic blog! I live in a lovely area with many walking routes and I find these are the best times for me to procrastinate. It’s interesting to hear the different techniques and ways people go about it. Talk soon, Luke

    March 8, 2019
  • Oooohh conspiracy theories is one of my faves from your list! Hahahah

    Flor |

    March 9, 2019
  • Deirdre


    I loved this post. Thank you so much for helping me to procrastinate. Not that I needed help.

    March 10, 2019
  • Iā€™m always looking at Word Press themes when I have something I need to get done on the computer. One day I will find that perfect one… One day!

    March 12, 2019