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Forever Amber: UK influncer

You know you’re a blogger when…

… you finish taking photos of your outfit and head out to the car, where you unclench your fist to discover:

remote control

The remote control for the camera you’ve been using. Which you’re still clutching like your life depends on it: and which is now going to come with you on your travels – whoops! Still, at least I didn’t try to use it to open the car door, like I did the LAST time this happened, huh?

You also know you’re a blogger when… 

 

 People ask what you do for a living, and there’s an awkward few seconds while you work out what to say that won’t just make them go, “HUH? You’re a WHAT?” Then, because you hesitated for so long before answering, the person now assumes you’re lying about it, and that you’re actually a spy or something. Which makes you wish you’d just said, “I’m a spy.” Which would probably seem more reasonable to the person asking the question, actually, because being a spy is a REAL job, and being a BLOGGER is just taking photos of your Starbucks cup and posting them on Instagram, isn’t it?

  You get multiple emails every day from people asking where you got the mirror on your dressing table, and you start to suspect that it’s actually just ONE person, trying to wind you up. Surely there can’t be THAT many people out there wanting to know where I got my damn mirror? Surely?

  You’ve considered closing your email account and starting a new one, just to get rid of all of the press releases and guest post requests people won’t stop sending you, no matter how many times you say, “No, I don’t accept guest posts” and “I don’t actually write about carp fishing: maybe you could remove me from your mailing list for this one?”

  You wake up one morning and there’s a photo of your bedroom on Instagram… which you didn’t post. You end up feeling like an absolute bitch for asking the person to add a photo credit, even although you know it’s not an unreasonable request. You feel horrible about it all day, and wonder if you should email the person to apologise for asking them to credit you for the photo you took of your own house. You realise this is stupid. You still feel like crap.

  Someone contacts you to let you know they’ve found yet another eBay auction featuring multiple photos of you AND your dog. You consider not doing anything about it, because no sooner do you get one set of photos removed from eBay than 50 others pop up, and it’s started to feel a bit like trying to push back the tide. But then you notice the seller is registered as a business seller, and somehow that seems even WORSE to you than some random person thinking, “Hey, I bet this woman won’t mind if I use five different photos of her to sell my second hand coat on eBay!”

So you email the seller, and they don’t respond because they’re on holiday. You know your life would be easier if you just let it drop, but you’re feeling particularly bloody-minded about it, so you send eBay a DMCA. They reply two days later asking you to clarify what your relationship is to the blog the photos have been taken from. You tell them. Two days after that they reply again, saying YOU filled out a USA DMCA notice and THEY need one specially for the UK, which they have sent you. You open it. It requests the exact same information as the US form. At this point you know perfectly well that eBay are basically just stalling as long as possible, in the hope the coat will sell before they have to remove the photos. When this happens, they will send you an email saying, “Whoops, we can’t seem to find the auction you’re referring to!” (You know this because that’s what’s happened every other time you’ve tried to DMCA eBay. One time they waited out a full 28-day listing, just so they could claim they “couldn’t find” the auction you reported…) and you will be left with the knowledge that both the business seller and eBay themselves have profited from the use of your photos, and you got nothing. Forever Amber: helping people sell coats on Ebay since 2006!

  You decide to boycott a major high street store who still haven’t paid you for a sponsored post you did three months ago, and which they plastered all over their website and social media. “I will never shop from them again!” you declare. “And I will remove every single link I have ever posted to them, on every single one of my websites!” You know there is absolutely no way in hell you will ever get round to doing this. You’re tempted to try it anyway.

And that was all just THIS week…

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8 Comments
  • char
    October 8, 2015

    grrr to most of the above.

  • Elizabeth Rose
    October 8, 2015

    To the last point, what the actual fuck? Take them to court.

    • Amber
      October 8, 2015

      They’re claiming it’ll be paid next week – if it isn’t, I’ll definitely take them to small claims court, or get a debt collection service to deal with it: never working with them again, though!

    • Elizabeth Rose
      October 8, 2015

      Sorry to reply to myself. Just realized you are probably already taking them to court. But seriously, that’s crappy of them, and it makes me mad to see people’s hard work taken advantage of.

      • Elizabeth Rose
        October 8, 2015

        Hah, sorry to reply again. I see your reply now (we posted at the same time). I surely hope you get paid!

        • Amber
          October 8, 2015

          Haha, no worries, I’m just glad I’m not the only one enraged by it! I’m really annoyed about it, particularly about the way they ignore all of my messages and only respond to me once I tweet about it, at which point they magically start getting the emails they’ve previously claimed to not be receiving! So disrespectful 🙁

  • Polly
    October 8, 2015

    Sooo… where did you get that mirror? 😉

  • Paula
    October 9, 2015

    I work in retail and apparently blogging and retail work seem to have a lot in common. Both jobs show you some of the absolute worst of humanity. Ugh! Hopefully you get it all worked out soon!

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