Everyday Sexism, and other things that suck about being pregnant

“Pregnancy is a magical time!” everyone says. “Enjoy every minute!” everyone says. And, I mean, OK, it IS pretty magical, all things considered. But it also kind of sucks — for a variety of different reasons. Here are some of the ways it’s sucked this week in particular…

Everyday Sexism

Since I got pregnant I’ve noticed there’s a certain group of people who seem to assume that I’m just going to give into the patriarchy now, and be a good little housewife or something. So, I’ve suddenly started getting a lot of questions about what I’m making for Terry’s dinner, plus a bunch of statements that make it clear that these people think the baby will be my sole responsibility/interest, and that Terry will have no parenting responsibilities at all, because he’s a MAN, SILLY!

This is honestly really odd to me, because Terry and I have always divided the chores etc pretty equally (He cooks, I clean: it works for us because I hate cooking and he hates cleaning, but some people just CANNOT GET OVER the fact that I don’t cook a nice meal for my man every evening…), and are planning to do the same with baby-related stuff.

We’re really lucky in that we both work from home, so we’ll both be here for the baby, and able to share things, but honestly, the comments implying that it’ll just be MY baby, and that I’ll be lucky if Terry “helps out” now and then are REALLY starting to grate on me. I think I need to get some kind of, “PLEASE DON’T PROVOKE THE PREGNANT LADY” sign to wear around my neck. Oh, and on that subject…

People who tell me that my anxiety will hurt the baby

Or, “anxious mommies make anxious babies!” or whatever. I’ve had this kind of comment a few times now, so I asked the midwife I saw at the hospital last week about it, and she said that not only is it categorically untrue, it’s also a pretty unkind thing for people to be saying to me, given that I haven’t exactly CHOSEN to be anxious, and that I’m doing my best to control it. So, knock it off, people, seriously.

Last week’s freak out…

… when I had a shower, then knelt on the bed for a few minutes afterwards, to chat to Terry. When I stood up again, I noticed a bunch of bright red blood spatters all over the bedsheets, so I instantly started shrieking at Terry to CALL AN AMBULANCE, SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THE BABY, only to discover that, actually, I’d just cut my knee while I was shaving my legs in the shower: whoops. Or when I was trying to shave my legs in the shower, anyway: it’s hard for me to even SEE my knees these days, so that’s probably how I managed to slice ‘em up good. On the subject of the bump getting in the way, meanwhile…

Having to get Terry to help me put my boots on…

… because The Bump is so big now that I just can’t bend down properly. Unfortunately the boots in question are elastic-sided ones, which are tricky to get on and off even when I’m NOT pregnant, so we ended up in this awkward kind of WWF-style stance, with Terry huddled at knee level, and me kind of leaning over his bent back, trying to get my foot into the boots. Then, when we got home, I had to basically lie on the floor while he dragged me along by my heels, trying to get the things off again. I guess I won’t be wearing THOSE boots again until the baby’s here…

Speaking of Terry:

Terry announcing to a room full of people that, “Amber’s belly button is about to run out!”

This expression actually comes courtesy of my mum, who, when she was pregnant with me, apparently worried that she was about to “run out” of belly-button, because it had reached that stage where it’s all stretched and weird looking and just about to POP. GOD. Well, mine has now reached that stage too: it hasn’t popped yet, but Terry is oddly fascinated by it, and apparently thought his entire family would be, too: THANKS, TERRY!

(Yes, I know I just told the entire internet, but that’s, like, TOTALLY DIFFERENT, isn’t it?)

What’s been good, bad and awkward in your life lately?