Things That Go Bump In the Night

Remember our attic-dwelling “visitor” of last year? The one who made noises in the walls and went on a chewin’ spree among the bags of old clothes and other junk up there?

No, we didn’t either. We’d had the best of intentions about calling the council and asking them to come and investigate our “visitor”, but it happened right before we went on holiday, and then by the time we got back, and had Christmas, and then New Year, and the snow came, and blah,blah, blah, we’d forgotten all about the Madthing in the Attic. And there were no more noises to remind us, either.

Until this week.

On Tuesday night I went to bed as normal, only to be rudely awoken a few hours later by what sounded like a large animal trying to scratch its way through the ceiling and get me. “Uh-oh, Shaggy!” I thought, “It’s grown! It’s been up there all the time, feeding on my old clothes, and growing fat and wicked. OMG!”

I woke Terry, so he could lie awake and listen to the giant creature slithering along the ceiling too. “You know,” he said after a while. “I’m not so sure that IS a giant creature. I think it could just be snow falling off the roof.”

I wasn’t totally convinced by this. I was sure I’d heard the “snow” making scratching noises. And whispering, “Amber! Amber! I’m coming to get yoooooouuuu!” But then again, was I sure? It was late. I was sleepy. Maybe it WAS just snow sliding off the roof after all? I drifted off to sleep, to dream of… well, to dream of being trapped inside an airplane that was driving along the motorway in the snow, actually, but the point is, by the time morning came, I’d forgotten all about our mysterious visitor/snow.

Until last night.

Last night we got into bed and I was just drifting off to sleep when Terry spoke. “You know,” he said. “I’ve been thinking. I’m not so sure those noises last night WERE snow.” He paused. “In fact,” he said, “I don’t know WHAT the hell those noises were. Maybe a demon, though?”

Well, that was it for me. Because last weekend? Last weekend we watched Paranormal Activity. And as anyone who’s seen the movie will probably understand, the LAST THING you want after that is to start hearing strange noises in your house in the middle of the night. Especially when you were just about to get up and use the bathroom, but now you can’t, because your husband has just suggested that, hey, there may be a DEMON lurking in your home!

Sadly for me, I’d actually managed to fulfill my “drink two litres of water per day” resolution for once. I’d drunk most of this water before bed, though, in a stupid-ass “whoops, I forgot to drink my two litres of water again, I will just do it now!” move. I had to visit the bathroom more than once last night. And every time I did, I stood trembling behind the door for a few seconds, convinced that when I opened it, I would see something coming up the stairs. Or just hear it, which would possibly be worse, although I’d prefer not to put that theory to the test. Then I’d have to do that “run to the bedroom with your eyes closed, and pull the covers over your head instantly, because if you can’t see it, it can’t scare you!” thing. Ah, scary movies, how I love you!

Anyway. In the cold light of day we are once again convinced that our Tuesday night visitor was either:

a) a member of the animal kingdom, whether it be rat, mouse or squirrel. A bit annoying, but unlikely to steal our souls while we’re asleep.

b) snow falling off the roof. This doesn’t explain the earlier occurrences, obviously, because there was no snow then, but these noises were a little different from the first ones, so perhaps our animal visitor has left us, and now we’re just hearing snow.

Or it could be Nigel.

More news as we have it, folks…