So, let the record show I completed NaNoWriMo — on Tuesday, actually. I’m sort of proud of myself, because 50,000 words in 21 days is quite impressive, really, but I’m also kind of not, because, like I said the last time I brought this up, this is literally my job, so I feel a bit like I’m asking for a medal just for doing what I’d have done anyway.
One thing I’ve learned about me, though, is that if you give me a totally made-up goal or deadline I will literally break a leg trying to meet it — and, indeed, beat it — so, on second thoughts, this many words is probably not what I’d have done anyway. I mean, if I could write this many words EVERY month I’d be producing something like 6 books a year and then they’d finally love me.
One of the reasons I’ve been making such good progress with this particular book, though, is that it’s the sequel to this one, which is about a girl from the Highlands who ends up fake-dating a celebrity — so just a relatable look at real life, really.
This makes it quite fun for me to write, because I spend a lot of time thinking about celebrities and what their lives must be like: not so much the OMGGLAMOUR of it, but more just the little mundane things, like who packs their suitcase(s) when they go on a trip? Because I feel like if you were a celebrity, you probably wouldn’t want to have to faff around packing suitcases all the time, but, then again, I also know that if I were a celebrity, I’d probably be the super-controlling kind who’d want to pick out all my outfits myself, so all my staff would hate me, basically.
This is a very real imaginary worry of mine, not even joking.
Other questions I have about celebrities:
- Do they have a full set of clothes etc in each one of their houses, or do they have to bring stuff with them every time they switch homes? It would obviously make sense to just have sets of clothes clothes in every house you own, but, at the same time, it would also be annoying to really want to wear that particular sweater you love, say, then realize it’s in your house in Aspen, and you’re in LA.
- Would you just buy two or three of everything, then, so you always had access to your ‘favourites’?
- Do the assistants/bodyguards etc get to travel first class (assuming there’s no private jet involved), or are they just stuck in economy? Would that not be a bit awkward? Do they get to stay in the luxury hotels with the celebs, or are they in a Premier Inn somewhere nearby?
- If you’re out somewhere with your bodyguard and you decide to stop for a coffee, say, does he sit with you, or does he have to sit at another table on his own? Is THAT not awkward? Or would it be even MORE awkward if you felt you had to invite him to sit with you, even though you really just wanted to read your book/scroll your phone/be alone with your thoughts?
- If you’re ordering something online, do you put your own (celebrity) name on the package, or do you use a made-up name so the Evri delivery guy doesn’t know it’s you, and tell everyone where you live?
- NDAs. At what point when you’re starting to get close to someone do you ask them to sign a non-disclosure agreement? Because I feel like that could be a real mood-killer, really.
- On the Eras tour, how is the clothing handled? Like, I’m assuming Taylor has multiple versions of everything she wears, rather than everything having to get laundered after every single show, but how often does it all have to be replaced? Especially all those Christian Louboutin boots that aren’t really designed for heavy use? How many pairs does she get through per month, say? Can I get an approximate cost for that?
Ultimately, I just need someone to make a documentary about celebrity lives, and I need it to be less about how they drink Cristal with Jay-Z in the VIP section, and more about how they manage their laundry, plus the logistics of having multiple homes all over the world. Thanks in advance.
