The Final Bumpshot
So, I’m having a baby next week.
I mean, no biggie, right?
*Whistles casually*
*Totally freaks out and bursts into tears*
Yeah.
When I first started blogging about my pregnancy, I’d had the idea that I’d do weekly “bumpshots”, so that, at the end of the pregnancy, I’d be able to look back on it, and see how my shape had changed from week to week.
What I didn’t expect was that I’d really, really hate looking at photos of my changing shape.
This is one of those things you’re not supposed to admit when you’re pregnant. You’re supposed to be so grateful to be having a baby that you really don’t care about the bloated face, the cellulite that appears from nowhere, or the fact that you stop looking like you at some point in the second trimester, and then, after that, every time you catch sight of yourself in the mirror unexpectedly, there’s this complete stranger standing there in your place.
Or, at least, that’s how it’s been for me, anyway, and I’m not ashamed to admit it, either: I honestly believe that it’s possible to be grateful for your pregnancy AND want to burst into tears when you hit the 3rd trimester, absolutely nothing fits any more, and even your face seems to be pregnant all of a sudden (YOUR FACE, PEOPLE.), and that’s pretty much where I am now, really.
I am, of course, grateful and amazed that my body has somehow managed to grow an actual baby, but at the same time, I’ve kind of been in “no publicity please” mode for a while now. I didn’t do the monthly bump shots I thought I would, and I’ve had no inclination whatsoever to do any of those, “Here I am in my underwear!” shots that are so popular amongst pregnant women. I DID post maternity outfits for as long as I could, but those stopped a few weeks ago, when I ran out of clothes that actually fit me, and just wanted to hide myself away for the rest of the pregnancy.
Last week, though, I woke up on the morning the pregnancy finally reached full term, to find that it had snowed overnight. It was already starting to melt by the time I got dressed, but I suddenly thought it might be nice to get one final set of photos, to document this last stage of pregnancy. I somehow had the idea that they’d be all kind of romantic and glamorous, like some of the maternity shoots I’ve seen other bloggers do, so I got dressed (And, full disclosure: I wore this outfit purely for the sake of getting some final maternity photos in it, and I had assistance getting in and out of the house, so I was in no danger of falling over in the snow!) and persuaded Terry to head out into the snow with me to get some photos.
Yeah, the photos didn’t come out looking all romantic and glamorous: in fact, when I looked back at them, my first thought was, “DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!”
I didn’t delete them, though.
Because, the fact is, this is what I looked like at 37 weeks pregnant. It’s not glamorous, and I am definitely not “glowing” – well, not other than with the cold sweat of sheer terror, anyway – but hey: I’m never going to be 37 weeks pregnant again, and I figured that was something worth documenting.
Hannah
You might not feel it, or be able to see it yourself but you are a beautiful pregnant lady and I hope that one day when you look back at these you are able to see it too!
Followed all your pregnancy journey and I just want to say before the baby arrives good luck and wishing everything goes smoothly and as planned for you!
xxx
Jaime
Ah yes those final days had me cringing at every mirror or reflective surface I walked by. I actually went to 42 weeks because I went 2 weeks overdue (baby was finally born via c section Nov 30th) so I was REALLY hating everything I owned by that point! Sadly even though I am already back to pre-pregnancy weight, I’m still in the maternity clothes because my body is different. I suppose it all takes time and now I kind of miss the bump!
Jennifer
You are absolutely beautiful. And you’re so lucky to be all baby. It doesn’t look like you’ve gained an ounce of weight anywhere. Good luck next week!
Rosie von Waldherr
I totally understand you! I am 31 weeks and have been dreading leaving the house…it’s also super cold, but mostly it is because I don’t actually feel like myself and only have like 2 outfits that fit me. Being Plus Size also means I can’t find as many cute maternity outfits as other mommas to be…but I still want to go and take some Outfit pictures of the baby bump though <3
If you don't post anymore until then: I wish you a lovely Christmas and the easiest possible experience with your c-section! My thoughts will be with you, I know how bad anxiety can get and hope we all can sort of take it a bit away from you 😉
xo, Rosie //Curvy Life stories
Myra
That is a glorious bump, all baby and wonderful. You have grown a little miracle that will fill your heart in ways even now you can only imagine. Wishing you a safe birth and happy mama.
Erin
From one over-analyzer to another, you are more than lovely just the way you are. Now, I can’t wait to see that squishy baby! Merry Christmas to both you and Terry. <3
CiCi Marie
You really are beautiful, but I totally understand the sentiment because it must feel very different for the person going through such a big change to their body. I hope you look back and feel pleased you persevered though, because I think despite how attractive you feel, it’s such a big moment in your life and that’s worth documenting like you say 🙂 best of luck for the last bit! x
Erika
Wishing you all the best! Can’t wait to see the new addition. ❤️
Alison Gibb
The whole thing is miraculous – very best of luck Amber – try and enjoy it!!
x
Barbara West
Wishing you comfort and joy asap!
Trona
it totally is worth documenting and I so wish I had taken more photos! I know it doesn’t really count but I think you look absolutely beautiful and you’ll have these photos to look back on. In fact, you’ve inspired me to start documenting things more, I’ve been terrible at it in the past but I think it’s a wonderful thing to do. Take it easy xxx
Brenda
I remember feeling exactly the same way that you do now. I was terrified of the birthing process and I just felt so huge. I also remember being distraught that NOTHING fit after the birth. Your feelings are normal and rational. You are smart though, to have photos and written documentation about your pregnancy. I didn’t do much of that, so my kids have actually asked me if they were adopted — there’s no pregnancy photos! It was in the days before Facebook and Instagram. I am sending you best wishes and hopes that everything will go well for you. Everything went well for me when I had my kids — it was the fear of the unknown that almost did me in. <3 <3 <3
Rachel
You look gorgeous, Amber. And you will most definitely look back on these pregnancy photos with affection if you’re anything like me. My youngest is seven now, but when I look back at my last bump photo at 39 weeks it’s a reminder that a) Our bodies are amazing. It’s photographic proof that I was actually as big as a house (the kid was born a week later at over eleven pounds!), and at the time I could only see my flaws but now see that I was pretty damn radiant after all! And b) that I managed to get back into shape and back into my favourite outfits eventually, and in the scheme of things it didn’t take very long at all. Enjoy the ride, Mama! You’re going to do great!
Emerald
You look fab! Wishing you all the best xx. PS Looking forward to seeing all your green frocks again very soon!
Skimpy
As everyone else said: those pictures are splendid!
All my best for the days ahead.
Lynsey
I remember this stage well, uncomfortable and like you have a little heater attached to you, not good when you’re trying to straighten curly hair.. I also was annoyed that I couldn’t eat as much as I though I wanted (probably a good thing). And when I wanted to sleep, baby had other ideas. Just keep in mind it’s all worth it, you get to meet your little guy soon and that’s the best feeling in the world. Love to you both xxx
Claire Smith
I love how honest you always are, Amber! I think photos are still nice to have whether or not you love them because they remind you of an important time you ‘might’ want to look back on <3
G is for Gingers xx
Sarah Rooftops
You look beautiful (but, yeah, I did feel like pregnancy did some weird magic mirror trick to my face…).
I’m so excited for you. Wishing you all the best for the birth and beyond. xx
Lindsey Elyse
I feel ya! I hated looking in the mirror when I was pregnant with my little one. I gave birth exactly two weeks ago now… and now I miss my baby bump (but it might be because I now have a relatively flabby belly LOL.) You’ll love looking back at these pictures and stare in amazement at how your little one was able to actually fit inside you! It’s mind blowing!
Myra
Maybe you should take the pregnancy naked Demi Moore shots as while you might hate them now, you might love them later, and won’t have them, if you don’t. And while you may not feel it, you are beautiful pregnant.
Amber
Nah, I think I know myself pretty well by now, tbh, and I have never regretted not having naked photos of myself, pregnant or otherwise – I can see the shape of the bump just fine in all of the photos I have of myself clothed!
D Johnson
I love your honesty. I wish I had had a friend like you back when I was pregnant. Here’s wishing you a safe delivery, looking forward to meeting your son, and Merry Christmas!
poppy
Good luck Amber. I wish you a safe delivery and speedy recovery.
Congratualtions and merry xmas.
Rock
I have never commented online, but your posts on pregnancy resonate with me. Like you, my pregnancy was fraught with anxiety due to risks and prior pregnancy losses. It was also difficult to adjust to the change in lifestyle an infant requires. Yet I have no regrets about having a child. My son is now 14 and I cherish our relationship. There are always challenges and adjustments involved in parenting, but the experience is filled with wonder and gained wisdom, and of loving to a depth that I never understood before having a child. Even now I sometimes reflect with disbelief and gratitude that I really had a baby. I wish you well as you embark on this marvelous journey.