Friday Five – Stuffed Animals

Last night Terry and I watched The Freedom Writers on cable. It was great, and kind of made me wish I was a poor kid living in the L.A. projects, so I could write a book about my experiences, and then Hilary Swank would come along and get my story heard, people. Except no, not really, that would suck. Anyway, while I was watching the movie, I became aware that I was drinking from the Magic Replenishing Wine Glass that lives in our house, and the result of that little “drinkin’ on a school night” experience is that today? Sucks. Especially given that I woke up convinced it was Saturday and then realised that whoops, no, it’s Friday! Better get blogging!

Thank God for the Friday Five, eh? Here are today’s questions:

1. What is your favorite (toy) stuffed animal?

Internet, meet Ted, Ted meet Internet:

Ted has been with me since I was born: my gran bought him for me when I was still in hospital, and he is the first thing I would grab (after Terry and Rubin, obviously) if my house was on fire. You may think “Ted” is a rather boring name, but Ted would tell you to get over yourself, like you have such a great name. And anyway, it’s short for “Edward”.

He holidays in Cancun and has a secret life as a semi-professional karaoke singer. He appeared in this year’s McNaught Family Calendar (don’t ask) as “Mr September”. He rawks.

2. What do you think of stuffed animals as gifts?

Well, ya know, a stuffed animal is for life, not just for Christmas, so if anyone out there is thinking of buying one as gift, I’d advise you to think carefully. Who will feed it? Who will walk it? What about when it gets older, and starts to lose its looks? What about when it wants to invite all its stuffed animal friends round for a party, then you come home and your house is wrecked? WHAT THEN? So many considerations… definitely not something to be ventured into lightly.

3. What do you do with a stuffed animal you don’t want?

You know what? Even although I’m not one of those people who has a house-full of stuffed animals, I can actually be brought to the verge of tears by the sight of an unwanted teddy bear. In fact, once when my mum and I were out walking the dog a few years ago (this was our last dog, not Rubinman), we discovered a teddy bear lying abandoned in a muddy puddle. It was still there on the way back, so I took that teddy bear home, washed it, and then… Well, actually, I don’t remember what I did with it after that. Probably gave it to the dog, I would imagine. I expect it’s now in my parents’ attic, along with all the other stuffed animals I have no particular use for (and really – what use can they possibly have?), and also: every toy I have I ever owned. And some other stuff. (Note to my parents: sorry.)

4. What are your thoughts on the whole Beanie Babies craze of the nineties?

Did not get that AT ALL. Especially not when adults were collecting them, and getting all obsessive about it. I mean, what did they actually DO with them? Did they just gather dust? And where are they now, those Beanie Babies of the nineties? Actually, I don’t really “get” people who collect anything (other than shoes, obviously, and at least you can wear them) just so they can say they have every single one of “X” item. I couldn’t be bothered with all that, personally. Am lazy.

* Realises she has probably just offended a whole bunch of collector-people. Is sorry. Shuts up.*

5. How many stuffed animals do you own?

It’s just Ted, and I don’t really “own” him – Ted is his own person and don’t you forget it. Rubin, on the other hand….