I Fought The Law And I Totally Won

Well, I’m still alive. Obviously. Alive, and also: feeling a little bit stupid right about now. Oh yes. Needless to say, the ear syringing was not painful (and nor did it involve the use of a syringe, either, come to think of it. It was a kind of plastic tube thing, a bit like a hoover, although what would I know? I was too afraid to even look at it.). It was not carried out by Mr T. (Which was actually a bit of a shame, because that would have made for a good blog entry. Unlike, say, this.) I did not faint dramatically afterwards, or even feel dizzy. Actually, it was all a bit of an anti-climax to be honest, but at least I can hear again. There’s a lesson here for all of us. I’ve no idea what it is, of course, but I’ll think on it.

In even better news, though, which I neglected to tell you about yesterday (I mean, I say this as if you all care…Just humour me, mmm’kay?) because of the whole, “wax in the ear, totally going to die” thing, I got my response from the Jury Service yesterday, and am pleased to confirm that I do not have to do jury duty. Yay! Go me!

I’m not sure which of the four arguments I used in my letter worked, but one of them sure did, so I’m keeping the letter on file so that I can re-send it next time they call me. For there will be a next time, friends, make no mistake about it: these Jury people have me firmly in their sights, and they’re not going to let me go without a fight. The form I had to send to them to ask to be excused contained the threat that, “EVEN IF WE LET YOU OFF THIS TIME, REST ASSURED THAT WE WILL TRY TO DESTROY YOUR LIVELIHOOD AGAIN SOMETIME WITHIN THE NEXT TWELVE MONTHS”, which is pretty annoying, really. I suspect I’m now going to have to spend the rest of my life fighting off the attempts of the court service to get me onto a jury: stupid really, because as I explained in my letter, if they knew me, they really wouldn’t want me on a jury anyway.

So, that’s pretty much been my week. Even although I still have a mountain of work outstanding, I’m going to down tools now and spend the weekend lolling in bed like a rag doll, getting out only to drink wine and buy shoes on the Internet. Can’t wait.