You know all of those adverts for magnetic eyelashes that keep popping up on your Facebook feed?
The ones you look at, and think, “Now, who in their right mind would be stupid enough to try THAT?”
*sheepishly raises hand*
In my defence, for almost a year now, my natural lashes have been a MESS. They’re thin, sparse and fragile, and absolutely nothing I’ve tried has helped*, so honestly, I was getting pretty desperate over here. I’ve been doing my best to just leave them mascara-free as much as possible, to give them a chance to grow back, but given that my lashes are pale as well as sparse, it’s something I’ve been feeling pretty self-conscious about, so when I saw those ads for magnetic eyelashes, I figured I had nothing to lose. Well, nothing other than around $20, and my self-respect, anyway. Ahem.
(*If you’re about to comment to internet-diagnose me with some awful disease, my health anxiety is going to ask you to kindly refrain: thanks in advance!)
“These magnetic lashes will be the answer to my prayers!” I thought excitedly, as I logged into my Paypal account to hand over my hard-earned cash to a website located somewhere in China. “Why, I’ll just clip them on every morning – no glue, no mascara – and I’ll be ready to go! And then, at night I’ll just unclip them again, and be ready for bed, without having to rub at my poor, fragile eyelashes with eye-makeup remover: what could possibly go wrong?!”
Well, the first thing that could go wrong was that the eyelashes didn’t turn up for over two months. I know! I mean, it’s almost like I did absolutely no research before buying them, huh? Who woulda thunk it? I’m not going to name and shame the website in question here, because I basically placed the order on impulse, and didn’t bother to keep track of their details, but suffice it to say that I’d actually lodged a complaint with Paypal by the time the damn things turned up. Also, yes, I was pretty stupid, I know. The rest of this post doesn’t make me look a whole lot smarter, though, so, you know, be warned.
Anyway, one day a couple of weeks ago, when I’d almost forgotten my quest to buy magnetic eyelashes, these dropped through the letterbox:
(Dream big, magnetic eyelashes, and one day you may get to be REAL eyelashes! Probably not, though, because, seriously dude, you really, really suck at eyelash-ing. Sorry to break it to you.)
It’s actually just occurred to me that some of you might not have seen the adverts for these (Maybe it really IS just me who’s being followed around the internet by them?), so just in case the contextual adverts on this page haven’t magically picked up on the fact that this post is about magnetic eyelashes, and started showing you ads for them, let the record show that these are… well, they’re false eyelashes, aren’t they? That are magnetic. Yes.
Basically, each set of lashes contains two separate eyelash strips, each of which has a small magnet attached to the rim, where you’d apply the glue on a normal false lash. The idea is that you essentially sandwich your own eyelash between the two magnets, which then adhere to each other, trapping the natural lash in between, and thus holding themselves in place. Now, as weird as it might sound, this idea actually really appealed to me, purely because it sounded a whole lot kinder on the lashes that either coating them with glue or mascara would. So, as soon as they arrived, I rushed to the mirror to try them out, and just 16 short hours later, I finally succeed in attaching them to my eyelashes. Just.
The video I’d watched made this look super-simple. It wasn’t. And, OK, I’m exaggerating very slightly about the 16 hours, but I did find the whole process really, really fiddly: you have to basically balance the first lash on top of your lashline while you attempt to attach the second one underneath, and I found that one – or sometimes both – of the two would inevitably fall off during this, and would generally fall down my top, or under the bed or something, at which point I’d have to spend the next five minutes searching for it, before starting the whole sorry process again. I finally worked out a technique whereby I’d apply the bottom lash first, and clamp my eye shut to hold it in place, before attempting to snap the top lash over it. It was a long, tedious process, but it was totally worth it in the end, because…
… oh no, wait, sorry: it really WASN’T, was it?
Seriously, WTF? This is NOT OK, guys. Like, very, very NOT OK:
Excuse the extreme close-up of my face: we can all cringe about it together later. For now, let’s just marvel at how very, very WRONG this is. Like, they’re just kind of clinging on for dear life, aren’t they? I look like Dame Barbara Cartland on a bender:
Actually I shouldn’t have said that, should ? The poor things look like they’re so disappointed in themselves that they’re about to throw themselves off my lashes, like, “Goodbye, cruel world!” And it’s hard to blame them, is it? I mean, one sneeze and they’d be gone, anyway: might as well end it sooner, rather than later, huh?
Unfortunately, however, I DIDN’T end it sooner rather than later. No, I took a long, hard look at myself – and the magnetic lashes, obviously – and I came to the conclusion that the problem was with these specific lashes, which each have one small magnet in the centre of each strip. Because of that, they don’t curve to fit your lash line, like regular false eyelashes do, and just kind of stick out rigidly at each side: awkward!
So I bought another set: this time with TWO magnets on each lash:
So… it’s not a great photo, granted, but these particular magnetic eyelashes, as I said, have two tiny magnets on each – one on each end of the lash. I figured that would make them curve to fit my lashline, for a more natural – and less ridiculous look. Again I found myself wondering: what could possibly go wrong?
Oh yeah: THAT.
Now, I swear to God, I didn’t deliberately ham this up just for comedic effect: this is actually what’s happened almost every time I’ve tried to apply these – the magnets just kind of turn in on each other, so, rather than lying flat, one on top of the other, they just look like they’re trying to run away from each other, as fast as they can. Which, unsurprisingly, is NOT the look I was going for.
After a bit of fiddling, I finally managed to get them a little bit straighter:
Only a little bit, though…
And, well, only on the one eye.
As you can see, the other issue with these is that they’re way too short to wear on their own: I’d need two or three sets to cover the lash line on each eye, and I might be willing to make the same mistake twice, but I don’t normally go in for a third try, so you’ll be happy to hear that, after this set, I finally wised up and accepted that magnetic eyelashes are NOT, in fact, the answer to to my prayers. Because who prays for the worst looking eyelashes of all time, seriously?
These are the single worst beauty product I have ever tried in my life.
Heavily caveated opinion:
So, I know I said I hate it when people are all, “Oh, I wish bloggers would be more honest! They should do negative reviews every now and again!” immediately followed by, “Oh, I hate it when bloggers are honest: they should be more positive!” but I have no desire to just trash someone’s business/product here, so let the record show that:
a) I have not tried every single type or brand of magnetic eyelashes on the market, and nor have I done any research to find out which ones are the best.
b) I am not a beautician, makeup artist, or even a beauty blogger, so I’m totally willing to accept that it could just be my eyelash-application skills that are lacking here, rather than the product itself. Just to give you a little more context, though, I DO use “normal” false eyelashes every now and then, and I don’t generally have any problems applying them, so I’m not TOTALLY eyelash challenged, although I’d be the first to admit that it’s not a skill I’ve spent time honing, either.
c) I could have tried adding some mascara to blend them in a bit with my own lashes. I didn’t, because that would’ve defeated the purpose I bought them for (and let’s be honest: nothing would’ve really fixed this mess, would it?), but I’m not suggesting that very pale lashes should look A-OK with just a couple of small black falsies whacked on : they won’t.
d) Your experience might be totally different from mine. House prices can go up as well as down. Charges from cellphones may vary. Please feel free to try them for yourself, rather than just trusting some woman on the internet, who couldn’t even get her false eyelashes to sit straight.
And if you DO decide to try them out for yourself? Please come back and tell me how you got on…