Re-Reading My Teenage Diaries | November 1990
Thursday, November 3rd, 1990
It’s happened. I got my period. I’ve been waiting all week for something to spoil this weekend, and this is it. I’m gonna have my period for Saturday (ice-skating and sleepover with Chloe) and riding on Sunday. I won’t be able to go swimming tomorrow either.
I’m considering a sex change. Men have it all.
I HATE LIFE.
Friday, November 2nd, 1990
Chloe got her period too.
Saturday, November 3rd
The sleepover. Naturally I’m writing this on Sunday because I couldn’t take the diary to Chloe’s. The ice-skating was brilliant! I loved it and I was good at it (I never even fell. Chloe fell once.) I could have skated forever with the music playing, but Chloe spoiled it a bit because she always had to go to the side to rest. Afterwards, though, I felt really left out. Chloe’s parents were really nice (her big brother wasn’t, he never even spoke to me once), but I felt like an outsider, an alien, like I was ruining their cosy little family group. The night was awful, just awful. Chloe and I had to go in the same bed and she took up most of it, leaving me perched on the side. I hardly slept a wink all night – I never do unless I’m in my own home, in my own bed. I suppose that’s real stupid, but that’s how it is. The folks picked me up from Chloe’s at 10:45 to go riding with Laurie.
(I apparently didn’t think this was important enough to mention, but I know from the date that this was Chloe’s birthday, hence the “special” day. I still always think of her on November 3rd, even though I haven’t spoken to her for years now…)
Sunday, November 4th, 1990
Riding was fantastic!!! I was on Triumph, a lovely little chestnut even nice than Jason, and wonderful to ride! He was the exact opposite from Pip. Pip won’t move, Triumph (ain’t that a great name?) wouldn’t stop! However, I LOVED him!!! It was brill!!!
The rest of Sunday passed as per usual. I taped three songs from the radio:
1. I’ll Be Your Baby Tonight (And old Dylan classic)
2. Don’t Worry by Kim Appleby
3. Step Back in Time by Kylie Minogue
Wednesday, November 7th, 1990
I’m sitting in my room tonight and I feel happy. I’m listening to The Beatles (Blackbird, Piggies, etc) and I think it must be the music. That music is SO good it’s unbelievable. At times like this I feel so good. Everything seems magical. I wish, I wish… I don’t know what I wish, but right now I have high hopes. Isn’t life wonderful? Yet everything’s tinged with sadness. [Oh, here we go, I knew this wouldn’t last…] I think it’s this music, knowing it comes from another age, an age that’s gone and can’t return. John, my most admired and loved person in the world, is gone and I do’n’t even remember him. I could cry now. It’s strange how quickly moods can change.
I’m gonna go and play this record again (Double White, side one) and see if I can recapture the magic before its tomorrow and back to the drudgery of real life.