Unlike me, Terry does not feel compelled to write down every single thing that ever happens to him. (I guess that’s what he has me for, mind you.) When we go on holiday, however, he does like to record our movements, in a little journal I bought him after his operation, thinking he might like to write down some of the deep and important thoughts he was having at the time. He did that, and then he moved on to recording every time I dropped something on my foot or tripped over the dog or whatever, so that particular gift worked out well, I thought. Anyway, in lieu of the holiday wrap-up post I was intending to write when we got back from Tenerife a few weeks ago, but abandoned in favour of lying on the couch eating as much food as I could fit into my mouth, I now present to you – with his permission, of course – some extracts from Terry’s holiday journal.
Over to Terry…
December 7th, 2010
Got up at 5am and tried to call airline to make sure flight was still on. They were closed. Got onto M8. It was like a disaster movie. Got to Glasgow at 7am, but flight delayed until 2.30pm. Sat on runway for 90 mins waiting on de-icer. Arrived at Tenerife at dusk. Amber was scared on road, freaked out. Terry freaked out right back at ya. Got room 1007. Changed it as it looked onto car park. Terry is Amber’s hero. Changed to room 303. Went to one of our old favourite haunts for something to eat/drink.
Ways Amber hurt herself: stubbed toe twice; hit leg on door; cut finger on suitcase; hit head on sink
December 8th, 2010
Got up, put on shades, went outside – very bright! Breakfast buffet was very good – dozens of types of bread, lots of different egg dishes, fruit, fresh fruit juices and bananas for the monkey park, which we went to right after breakfast.
Went to beach for a walk – sun was lovely and warm – bought Amber shoes and a sailor’s top. Went to dinner at the hotel, which was much better than expected. It was raining when we went in but had stopped by the time we were finished, so we walked over to the 5 star sister hotel next door, whose facilities we’re allowed to use, and had a drink in their bar. Managed to convince Amber that the English translation of the chorus of one of the songs the band was playing was “My left thigh hurts”. She believed me. (Note from Amber: this is totally untrue!) The next singer sung in German, which prompted a brief panic from Amber, who informed me she was having trouble understanding him – lolzers!
Ways Amber hurt herself: sprayed water in her face while turning on shower; punched drawer while trying to remove plug adaptor from hairdryer; burnt herself on hotplate at dinner.
Favourite photo so far:
December 9th, 2010
Buffet breakfast again, then we went for a super-long walk along the coast. We sat watching the sea at dozens of viewpoints, basically taking any opportunity to soak up the amazing warm sun . Along the way we saw sprays of water coming from caves under the cliffs:
We also saw another natural wonder about a mile along the coast:
TMI!
Went to Mango. The toilets in the mall had opaque glass doors so people can see you through them. The ladies had a queue so Amber had to go with everyone watching. Lolzers!
Went to dinner in the hotel again. People keep staring at Amber, so we have developed a code word so that we can point out the starers to each other. The code word is secret, though, so you can never know it just in case we catch you staring one day. (Amber’s note: I have no idea who he was addressing this to…) Annoying guy one table away is trying to perfect the art of making trumpet noises with his nose.Went out for drinks after dinner. Amber tried to befriend a cat at the bar, but it liked me better and decided to share my seat:
The staff at the cafe seemed pleasantly surprised the cat had found love. It was short lived, though – after about twenty minutes it rained and the cat left me. Not sure I will ever get over it, but that night will forever be warm in my heart.
Amber update: opened cupboard door, slamming it into her foot. Did a little dance, something like a Morris dancer, shouting “OW! OW! OW!” Amazing!
December 10th, 2010
Left the hotel at 10:30 and went for a trip to the Masca Valley. Lots of roadworks because of landslides and the roads down to the valley were the craziest I have ever seen – bad vertigo a lot of the time, which made both Amber and I a little nauseous.
On the way there, Amber declared a Thumb War:
(Amber’s note: we’ve no idea what’s actually going on in this photo. When we looked back at it that night, “Thumb War” was our best guess. I look extremely annoyed about whatever it is, though, and also: freezing. Because, just in case you can’t tell from the photos, it was freaking FREEZING up this high…)
Amber didn’t hurt herself today: amazing!
December 11th, 2010
Breakfast in the hotel again, yum. Amber had a screw loose on the way back to our room. Nothing unusual there except this time it was on the leg of her sunglasses. The leg fell off and Amber freaked the hell out, then got excited thinking she would have to buy new ones. Unfortunately for her, I managed to find an optician’s and got them repaired. Sorry, Amber.
(Amber’s note: we also took a private boat trip to see dolphins at Los Gigantes, but Terry apparently found that story about my sunglasses much more interesting…)
December 12th, 2010
The 10th anniversary of our relationship. Going out for dinner tonight – looking forward to it. I have got something special for Amber which I will give to her at dinner. By the time she reads this diary entry she will know what it is!
Spent the day at the pool. VERY warm again. Just finished reading a book about 13 of the biggest mysteries of the universe. Enjoyed it. Amber is reading a book about a mysterious house, just for a change. (Amber’s note: yes, I am obsessed with stories about creepy old houses which harbour devastating secrets…)
Stayed in the sun for as long as we could, then came back to the hotel to read some more. Just watching the most amazing sunset yet, while Amber rams herself in the shoulder with her hairbrush. That’s the first time she’s hurt herself in two days!
December 13th 2010
Sunny again, OMFG! Went to the beach. Still full from dinner last night. Note to self, no more big bowls of pasta. I headbutted a beach umbrella today. Not to be outdone, Amber headbutted her sun-lounger.
It was a beautiful starry night, so after dinner and cocktails we went back to our balcony to relax with a cup of coffee. Amber and I saw our first shared shooting star. Until yesterday, Amber hadn’t even seen one, but tonight we saw five. They are so fleeting but so worth seeing.
*Amber just punched the cupboard!*
Alex
01/11/2011That could be us. Except we’d both be hurting ourselves. Poor Ramona… she has no idea what she’s let herself in for.
Siel
01/11/2011Sounds like you had a great holiday! Also, love the pictures 🙂
I really thought I was the only one who hurts herself every day, glad to hear I’m not 🙂
Hayley
01/11/2011Haha, sounds like me with the constant injuries. With my boyfriend, however, it would be constantly spilling and breaking things.
Roisin
01/11/2011This really, really made me laugh. Not at you hurting yourself so often (because I do that too. This morning I pinched myself on the forearm really hard trying to put on a sleeve. Lame) but Terry has such a way with words! I was especially charmed by the fact that he bought you a ‘Sailor’s Top’ – what did the sailor wear after this transaction!
Now I really want to know what the codeword is, though. You and Terry are so adorable 😀
Amber
01/11/2011There are sailors all over Tenerife walking around NAKED thanks to me! NAKED, I tell you!
Roisin
01/11/2011Well I suppose it explains away those mankinis 🙂
Zomermaantje
01/11/2011All the bumping into, tripping over, etc is so recognisable. Never realised there were others out there just as clumsy as me 😉
Hope you didn’t hurt yourself too badly though, and that you don’t bruise as easily as i do 😉
Lauren
01/11/2011This post made me LOL. I can’t believe I just said that outside of the context of a tweet, but I am nothing if not brave with my linguistic choices. Not to be confused with linguine choices.
*ahem* Anyway… I’m full of cold and therefore have a tendency to gibber inanely
Kudos to Terry for the hilarious commentary, I almost feel like I was there. Except, I have to say, I am very glad I wasn’t there for the mankini episode, it looks terrifying!
Amy
01/11/2011Love hearing (reading) Terry’s side of events. Also enjoyed reading all the ways you hurt yourself, because I am very accident prone… and I pray that my husband never gets the idea to record all the clumsy ways I hurt myself.
Aline C
01/11/2011“Amber didn’t hurt herself today: amazing!” LOL
Such a cute post 😀
Ava
01/11/2011That mankini picture is absolutely HORRIFYING. Dear lord.
Because I am also obsessed with books about mysterious houses which harbour devastating secrets, may I enquire what the book was you were reading? Thankyou!
Amber
01/11/2011I actually read quite a few books which could be described like that while I was away, so I’m not sure which one this was – possibly Kate Morton, The Distant Hours? (Actually all of her books are about mysterious houses – she’s of one my favourite authors…)
Fashion Limbo
01/11/2011This is sooo funny to read…Terry needs to share his thoughts with the rest of us more often 🙂
Now I have holiday-envy. I need the sun so much!
Kate
01/11/2011Love this post! Not only the vacation pics and stories, but the injury mentions as well – glad to know I’m not the only person who can consistently manage to injure herself in the course of normal human activities! Sometime I’ll have to tell you about the time I made myself bleed putting on hand lotion. Ooh or the time I fell out of bed while awake!
Alex
01/11/2011This made me laugh so much. Nice to see Terry’s point of view, I liked the Amber-ouch-count.
Mitr Friend
01/12/2011That’s a lovely holiday album!!!
Claire
01/12/2011Great post, lovely to see Terry’s side of the holiday. The injury mentions made me laugh, too. Just before I sat down to read this, I peeled a satsuma and managed to get juice up my nose thus almost chocking myself 🙂
Sally
01/13/2011That was really funny! Terry is a great writer (and so are you). I hope you have another great 10 years. And 10 more after that. ps does Terry have any spare single brothers?????!!
KC
01/14/2011Though I love your writing, it was nice to read Terry’s POV for a change (and to see your photos–you take some very nice ones too!). Clumsy people of the world unite! I always manage to trip or hit things or spill things on myself…
I agree with the poster who said the mankini interlude was terrifying, but I couldn’t stop laughing for a while there.
Lape
01/21/2011Hi Amber,
It’s great to read Terry’s side of things 🙂 I like the photographs. What camera did you use?
Amber
01/21/2011Some were taken with a Nikon D5000, and some with the Hipstamatic app on my iPhone.
Tanvi B
05/19/2011You guys are the best couple ever. So funny! I have a laugh every time I read your blog! 🙂