I‘ve been sitting here with the blank page of this post open in front of me for about 20 minutes now, without having a clue what to write in it, because I think week 18 has been the most uneventful week of this pregnancy so far.
(I’m now REALLY worried that I’ve just cursed it by saying that, obviously. Even although I totally don’t believe in curses, or in tempting fate, or in any of that stuff…)
I was actually hoping it wouldn’t be uneventful, of course. I mean, I was hoping I’d have lots of lovely little baby kicks to report in this week’s pregnancy diary, but nope: absolutely nada. Well, other than that one time during Game of Thrones when I became absolutely convinced I could feel … something. Some kind of… feeling. It wasn’t anything like a butterfly flapping its wings, though, which is what everyone and their uncle has told me to expect, and later that night I had a similar feeling way up in my torso, and if the baby is all the way up there then, well, I’m in trouble, basically.
So, yeah, nothing to report again, and I’m honestly starting to think that I will just never feel this baby move, ever. Why’d you hate me, baby? Why can’t you just give me a swift kick to the belly or something, just so I know I haven’t imagined you?
Here’s what I do have to report this week…
Zits. Four of ’em. Actually, I don’t know if this is strictly a pregnancy symptom as such, because we all know that sometimes bad skin happens to good people, whether they’re pregnant or not, but I don’t normally get breakouts, so I’m chalking it up to hormones, and just feeling lucky that they cleared up almost as soon as they got here.
(Other things I’m chalking up to hormones: all of the times I’ve started crying just because someone looked at me funny; my continued inability to stay awake past 10pm…)
Oh, and the dreams! Super-vivid dreams were one of my very first pregnancy symptoms, and they’ve stayed with me throughout. Most of them seem to revolve around me breaking into my childhood home (Which I only lived in until I was 5 years old, but dream about constantly…), and then refusing to leave it, but quite a lot of them involve me endlessly re-sizing images for blog posts which… well, which says a lot about how I’ve been spending MY time lately, huh?
Week 18 Pregnancy Aversions:
It’s still you, coffee. And we used to be so close, too…
Week 18 Pregnancy Cravings:
Once again, it’s ALL THE THINGS. I’m just really, really hungry pretty much aaaalll the time right now, and it’s actually freaking me out a bit, because WHEN WILL I STOP EATING? Will I EVER stop eating? And, I mean, I know the whole “eating for two” thing is a myth, but I’m pretty sure I’m eating for at least four (No, there is just one in there. Yes, I’m sure…), which can’t be good, can it?
Week 18 Pregnancy Fears:
Other than the usual “why no movement?” stuff, this week I’ve mostly been worrying about the mid-pregnancy anomaly scan, which is happening next week. I stupidly made the mistake of Googling this, just so I’d know what to expect, and, of course, it was just this huge list of Things That Could Go Wrong. Well, OK, 11 things, and two of them have already been ruled out by the Harmony Test I had in week 10, but even so, folks, that’s still NINE DIFFERENT THINGS that could potentially be wrong with this baby, and that’s just TOO MANY THINGS, as far as I’m concerned.
Still, if all goes well, that scan will be another one of those lines in the sand that, once crossed, should make me feel a whole lot better about things, so as much as I’m dreading it, I’m also looking forward to getting past that particular hurdle – and, of course, to (hopefully) finding out whether we’re having a boy or a girl!
Wish me luck…
[Edited to add: I keep getting comments about “the baby not moving” – just to clarify, the baby IS moving (The midwife commented on it last week, when she was listening to the heartbeat and the baby kept moving away from the doppler!): it’s just that I can’t feel it yet! The midwife also said that’s not uncommon at all for women not to be feeling any movement at this stage, especially with a first baby, so it’s definitely not the case that if I can’t feel it yet, it must not be moving: I’m just worrying about it because I worry about everything!]