Yes, the hall is totally going to have to be dug up

I’m a little bit of a neat-freak.

Don’t get me wrong: my house is by no means perfect – in fact, a lot of the time, I feel like the opposite is true. But I’m one of those people who just can’t relax or focus in a mess. If there’s laundry to be done, I can’t put it off. If the floor needs sweeping, I can’t sit and watch TV until its done. (Unfortunately for me, we have laminate floors, which look nice, but which show up every single speck of dust or tiny mark. There have been times when I’ve been in the middle of a Netflix marathon, and have had to press pause while I get up and sweep the floor. No, it’s not much fun…)

I remember a few months ago, I posted a photo of my desk on Instagram, to which someone commented, “Yeah, but what does it look like the rest of the time?” I had no idea how to answer, because actually, that IS how it looks the rest of the time. I just can’t concentrate if my desk is untidy: it makes me feel claustrophobic and disorganized, so while I’ll hold my hand up to artfully arranging the items that are already on it for the occasional Instagram photo, I rarely have to tidy it especially for a photo.

I also clean when I’m worried. I clean when I’m stressed. I sometimes clean when I’m happy, because having a clean, organised environment is certain to make me even happier. When our new couch was delivered on Tuesday, I cleaned the entire house… even although the couch would only be going into one room.

All of which is to say that the imminent digging-up-of our hall has me just a little bit freaked.

You all knew the floor would definitely be getting ripped up, didn’t you? Because I certainly did. As soon as I knew there was a “best case scenario” and a “worst case scenario”, there was absolutely no doubt in my mind which of those two scenarios would come to pass. There never is, is there?

As it happens, what we’re facing is the Not-Quite-the-Worst-Case-Scenario. Only the hall will be ripped up (WE HOPE): it looks like the blockage is only under it, and not under the kitchen or bathroom, so those floors will remain intact (WE HOPE), as will the wall. Whew! As scenarios go, it definitely could be worse: if ANY of my floors have to come up, the hall is the one I’d have picked, because it’s laminate, and can (WE HOPE) be taken up and then replaced without too much trouble. The other two rooms, as I mentioned, have tile floors which have been installed right onto concrete, so the only way to remove them would be by destroying them, basically. (And I mean, yeah, there was a tiny part of me which secretly hoped the insurance would pay for the kitchen floor to be replaced, because I hate that floor, but I’m definitely not disappointed to NOT be going through the disruption (AND MESS) that would have caused.)

There WILL, however, be disruption, though, and that’s what’s freaking me out. This whole thing is going to be messy, basically. Really, REALLY messy. And I just don’t deal with that well. Seriously, while the whole “OMG, overflowing sink!” scenario was unfolding that day, my anxiety levels were through the roof : not just because I could tell this was going to be expensive to fix, but because MESS was exploding all around me, and I couldn’t do anything to fix it, on account of I was stuck in the bathroom, clutching a pickle jar. As soon as the workmen come into the house, and walk across the floor, I’m going to have to fight the impulse to immediately sweep up after them, even although I know things are about to get WAY messier than that.

But still: “It could be worse” is our mantra for the week. And yes, it totally could. Some people don’t even HAVE a hall to be destroyed, after all! Some other people, meanwhile, DO have a hall, but also have an insurance company who, 11 days after the sink exploded and the drains were announced to be “like, totally screwed!” STILL haven’t bothered to review the copious amounts of information they’ve been sent, and make a decision on whether or not they’ll pay for the repairs.

Oh no, wait: that’s us again. Damn.