Things I Thought While Trying Aveda Dry Remedy Conditioner and Damage Remedy
SCENE 1: Bedroom. AMBER is lazing in bed, probably looking at Instagram or some other such nonsense. TERRY enters, accompanied by RUBIN, and tosses a mysterious brown package on the bed.
TERRY: You’ve been online shopping again, haven’t you?
AMBER: Not I! This will be those Aveda samples they said they’d send me. Apparently it’s some of their “hero” products.
RUBIN: Did someone say “hero”? I AM HERO. Pick me up and place me on the bed!
[TERRY picks up RUBIN and places him on the bed. RUBIN immediately loses his mind with joy. ]
AMBER: See, I don’t normally use expensive hair, products, but I had this idea that I’d …
[TERRY quietly leaves the room]
… start a little series on my blog, where I’d review different hair products and see if they really ARE better that the stuff I usually buy. It’ll answer important questions like, “Is high end hair care really worth the money?”, and ‘How long can I seriously expect to keep treating my hair like this, without paying a terrible price?”, but more importantly, it’ll give me an excuse to buy lots of expensive hair products, and maybe one of them will make my hair look like Emma’s in Once Upon a Time, only I think Emma might have extensions, actually. Do you think Emma in Once Upon a Time has hair extensions?
[AMBER looks up and realises that TERRY is long gone. ]
AMBER: Oh well: I guess it’s a good job he left before I got to the bit about spending lot of money on stuff for my hair!
[TERRY immediately puts his head around the door.]
TERRY: Did I just hear you say, “Spending lots of money?”
AMBER: Er, no. I said… “You smell like honey.” To Rubin.
[They both look at Rubin, who is licking his own butt. TERRY exists, stage left, leaving AMBER alone with her package, which she rips open excitedly.]
AMBER: Hmmm. They’ve sent me “Dry Remedy” conditioner. Which is awkward, because my hair is not dry, but actually quite greasy. I expect they thought I had dry hair because of all of the heat styling I’m always banging on about.
[Amber rummages in package some more, and produces a tube of Damage Remedy Daily Hair Repair.]
AMBER: OR they just think my hair looks really dry and straggly. Does my hair look dry and scraggly?
RUBIN: Er, I’m a dog? Why would I care?
AMBER: Actually, now I think of it, my hair IS pretty dry at the ends. I will try this Dry Remedy and see what happens!
RUBIN: Whatevs, dude. I’m just here for the dog treats I know you keep in the drawer…
* * *
SCENE 2: The shower. AMBER, who looks a lot like Miranda Kerr in this scene, just FYI, is opening the CONDITIONER bottle.
AMBER: (to self) I just don’t think this will work. I mean, I never notice a difference between one conditioner and another, which is why I always just buy the cheapest one I can find. This one is, like, £22 per bottle, so actually, I really HOPE I don’t like it, because then I won’t want to buy… ooh! It smells amazing! Damn: I hope this isn’t going to make me want to buy £22 hair conditioner every week – although, to be fair, it IS quite a large bottle. Maybe two weeks’ worth? If I’m stingy with it, and just put it on the ends? Which I should probably do anyway, seeing as the ends are the bits that are dry. OK, here goes!
* * *
SCENE 3: Bedroom. AMBER sits at the dressing table, working the Damage Remedy through the ends of her hair.
AMBER: Now, THIS is more like it. I mean, I use heat on my hair every single day, and I don’t do anything to protect it, no matter how often people tell me I should. So, according to the tube, this will “Help protect from heat styling and detangle to help prevent further damage.” Sounds like a plan!
AMBER’S HAIR: It’s about bloody time! Every day I get subjected to the hair dryer, then the stupid Babyliss Big Hair, or the heated rollers… lately it’s been those infernal GHDs, with their HOTHOTHOT plates. Does she ever do ANYTHING to protect me from all this? NO. Does she ever thank me for putting up with it all? NO. Does she ever buy me a nice, deep conditioning treatment, to make me feel better? AS IF. She’s a stingy, stingy girl, and one day she will pay the price of all this heat styling, you mark my words!
* * *
Scene 4: Bedroom, later. Amber has just finished blow-drying and styling her hair, and is looking in the mirror.
AMBER: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the fairest… Whoops! Wrong story! So, this has worked out better than I’d hoped. I mean, I was expecting it to make my hair super-greasy, like almost EVERYTHING does, but nope – hair feels normal. And OMG, hair smells amazing!
[Swishes hair a few times while sniffing the air like a bloodhound.]
AMBER: Also, the ends feel less crunchy than they usually are when I curl them, so I guess the Damage Remedy helped – and it DID detangle it, too, which is always good. Can’t say I’m noticing any difference from the conditioner, but *whispers* I never really notice much difference between different brands of conditioner, which is why I always buy the cheap stuff. Because if I had to pay £24.50 for every tube of conditioner I bought in a month, that would cost me…
[Amber does the ‘Joey-from-Friends-doing-maths-in-his-head’ face while trying to work this out…]
AMBER: That would cost me, like, £50 per month, assuming I can make it stretch for two weeks!
[AMBER falls to the floor in a dead faint. Fade to black.]
Related: Babyliss Curl Secret
Manda | musicalpoem
I swear by Aveda products (big fan of everything I’ve tried: smooth infusion, be curly, dry remedy… clearly I can’t decide how I want my wavy hair to be styled) but the price tag means I can’t buy/use it as regularly as I’d like. But once I use up my current (drugstore) stuff, I’m thinking of making a permanent switch to Aveda. I mean, may as well be kind to my long hair, right? Plus, if I use quality Aveda products that means I can cut down on the number of other products I use that aren’t as good… or so I tell myself!!
char
I’m just hopeless when it comes to using decent products on my hair. I always go for the cheapest, supermarket stuff. I was once told that it doesn’t make a difference because the same ingredients feature in all hair products, and I’ve chosen to use that as my mantra.
As an aside, how do you never manage to run out of hilarious post ideas?
Amber
Aww, thanks for saying that – I think you were the only one to find this one hilarious, but I’m glad someone liked it 🙂
On the hair stuff, I’m always being scolded by stylists for using cheap stuff, because they say it coats the hair shaft, and damages the hair. They always say that right after praising the condition of my hair and asking how I keep it so healthy, though, so it really confuses me, because if the products I use are THAT bad, and are damaging my hair, then shouldn’t my hair be, you know, damaged? With that said, I’ve not been particularly happy with it lately, though I thought I’d try some new stuff and see if it makes a difference. My main problem is that I get through so much conditioner that no matter how much I like something, I’m still not going to be able to afford to buy it all the time, though!
Betty Sky
Sorry honey, you need to get your eyes checked and whoever tells you your hair looks damaged should be bitchslaped (pure envyness). Your hair is absolutely gorgeous. I guess you don’t have any chemical process like hair dye or brazilian blowout so I don’t see why you should use this.
Even though I’m a beauty junkie, I hate this industry sometimes, making us swollow things we don’t need, putting high (and unreal) expectations, so we spend our entire salary on unnessessary stuff. Even though I use hair dye, I’m not spending more than 20 bucks on my hair per month, not even blowing it out anymore (let it dry by itself). Also, I’m getting used to wash it USING ONLY WATER.
After I checked Simone Simons blog (“the goddess” when it comes to dyed redhair) and saw that she uses drugstore stuff ONLY I completely changed when it comes to hair care. It seems that the less you care, the more gorgeous the hair is. And now you’re telling us you use the cheapest so I guess this theory is right
jodie filogomo
What if you use it ever other time? Then you’d get the advantage of the “expensive” stuff yet only have to buy it half the time! Just a thought! jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
ps…with my curls I started using a more expensive one….what I should do is only use it on half my head and the cheap stuff on the other half to really see if i can tell a difference…
Mana
I currently have about ten billion bottles of shampoo and conditioner in my cabinet, that I’ve bought tried and not loved so my husband and son end up using some very fancy hair care.
However when I do find something I love I buy the big liter bottles of it online because you can usually find them on sale, or Salons have a buy on get one 50% off so you could go buy two conditioners when they do that. Though that’s usually matrix or Paul Mitchell that does that here in the states.
Mana
Fashion and Happy Things
Leia
To AMBER’S HAIR: stingy obviously works for you since you are always gorgeous in photos so stop whining!
Love love love the format of this post. AMBER, you’re a genius!
Irene
Personally, I did notice a big difference in my own hair once I started using expensive salon hair products (my favorite brand is ICON), but mine is naturally frizzy, oily, flat, and generally lion mane-like even if it’s straight, so I had more “problems” to solve. My sister and my mother, however, have used drugstore hair products their whole lives and they work well on them! As consolation, I only need to buy a 1l. bottle of shampoo every 8 months or so, and a bottle of conditioner will last me for almost a year, so I don’t spend that much money in the end and the results are worth it. Your hair looks amazing in all your photos, so I’d say keep doing whatever you’re doing, because it works 😀
Ruth
I’m not convinced by high end hair stuff myself….I mostly use Elvive. A friend’s sister worked for L’Oreal on the corporate side, and she said the cheap stuff is just as good, just in less fancy packaging with a slightly less expensive smell. I’m inclined to agree. Can’t tell the difference between Kerastese and Elvive.
Felicity
I loved this post! Especially the Rubin parts. I liked the Miranda Kerr comment too. 😉
Also your hair looks so lovely!
Erika
I’ve got long hair as well, and dry – mostly just because that’s how it is, but also the dry Australian air (no styling tools involved – absolutely no point, my hair reverts to natural within a few hours!). I did try the Aveda products because they sounded marvellous on paper, but was less than impressed with the result. The absolute best shampoo and conditioner I’ve used (and continue to use) is Seven Wonders Argan range. It’s an Australian brand, not sure if it’s available in the UK.
Elia
This post made me laugh so much 😀 But seriously, I converted to expensive haircare products last year after going to an over-priced hairdresser (never went back, not worth it). Expensive haircare, however, can really be worth it! Hear me out – the important thing is to get stuff that is free of sulphates, parabens and whatever the third one is. I swear on “Three More Inches” shampoo and Alterna conditioner (although that’s for dry hair) and it really is worth the money because you actually don’t end up spending more but your hair is much healthier because it kind of reverts to its “normal” state after using products like that for a few weeks and all the build-up from cheap products is gone. For instance, I only just bought my third bottle of Alterna conditioner since last June. Literally used two bottles in a year. So while it costs like £27, you only have to use a teeny tiny amount of it and you don’t have to wash your hair as often because it doesn’t go greasy as quickly. So you get healthier hair (might not look too different but it’ll feel amazing) and save time because you won’t have to wash it as often (I went from every other day to every 5 days-ish). Give it a try!
Andrea
I’m mostly confused with how much conditioner you go through in a week or two!! My conditioner lasts foreverrrrrr to the point where I have to replace shampoo one or two times per conditioner EASILY. And I feel like I have as much hair as you, and my ends actually are dry usually and my hair is chemical processed and all that. I’m rethinking my entire conditioning philosophy and wondering if my hair has been saying I’m stingy behind my back as well!
Amber
I wouldn’t worry – I think everyone’s hair is just different! I’ve tried using less (and don’t think I use HUGE amounts on each application – I don’t ever put it on the roots, so it’s just the bottom 2/3 of hair), but I need to use a certain amount or I literally won’t be able to get a comb through it when I come out of the shower, and when I do, it’ll be full of static when it’s dry. I think it’s mostly because I wash my hair every day, though – a bottle of shampoo can last me months, but conditioner is another story!
Emma
I never buy conditioner at all, because if I use it my head just winds up looking like an oil slick….and I don’t really need it anyway, so I’ve never worried. Loved this post, by the way, especially the end (I think that would be my reaction too!)
Ghalia
My hair is so completely different to yours, that the “review” part of this post is completely useless to me. I thought it was pretty hilarious, though & a genius idea. More, please! 😀
Bonita
Funny, funny!! I enjoyed reading your ‘play’, though I know I’ll be sticking with my good ol’ Mane and Tail shamp&cond. Yup, you read that correctly. Horse shampoo is really great for curly hair! 😛
xox,
bonita of Lavender & Twill
Erika
I try and buy the better shampoo and conditioner – those without lots of harsh chemicals – but that is about as far as it goes for me and hair care. I’ve been wanting to try some of this dry shampoo I keep coming across… I’ve never tried Aveda brand but it does sound promising.
Oh, and this was the best hair care review post I’ve ever read, by the way.