Crying over spilt coffee

So, it seems the year hasn’t gotten off to quite the start I was hoping for when I was writing down my New Year’s Resolutions, punching the air, and muttering frantically about how 2017 was SO going to be my year, just you wait and see!

So far, though, 2017 has looked a lot like this:

Whoops.

It happened yesterday morning. Although I’d slept late, I’d woken up feeling absolutely exhausted, and, ironically, I think it was my desperate need for coffee that led me to empty an entire mug of the stuff over … well, everything, really. It’s amazing how much coffee you actually get in a mug that size, isn’t it? And how many white/cream things I have to cover it with, for that matter. In this photo alone, for instance, you will notice my old friend, coffee, covering:

*My white desk

* My white chair

* My white keyboard

* My off-white carpet

* My brand new dressing gown, which I JUST got for Christmas, and which is the softest, snuggliest dressing gown in the whole world, not even joking.

Not pictured, meanwhile, are:

* My white mouse (Er, I dunno why, but I feel the need to explain that this is, in fact, a computer mouse I´m referring to. I don´t have an ACTUAL white mouse on my desk, although, now I come to think of it, I reckon I´d quite like one? It could be a cute little desktop companion. Do mice drink coffee? Because my mouse would have the option of drinking a LOT of coffee, I´m sure…)

* My iPhone – which is not white, and which only got a couple of drops on the screen, so while it doesn’t technically count as A White Thing, it does technically count as a Thing You Really Don´t Want to Soak With Coffee, Do You?

I´m not really sure what happened. All I know is that one minute I was sitting at my desk, happily working away (Yes, I was working in my dressing gown. I know I´ve said in the past that bloggers TOTALLY don´t work in their PJs, no matter how lazy you think we all are, but… yeah, I was working in my PJs. I hang my head in shame.), the next I was completely covered in coffee – as was everything around me.

As soon as the coffee hit, I let out a shriek, and jumped up from the desk… which I´m guessing is how the coffee managed to reach the chair I´d been sitting on, too. Then I just sort of… stood there, staring at it all, helplessly. I was so shocked, I couldn´t think what to do first, so I did what any blogger would do in this kind of situation: I picked up my phone and took a photo of it. Oh come on, AS IF you´d expect any less of me!

(Then I picked up the coffee mug, and drank what was left in it. Priorities, people, priorities…)

Aaaaand that was my first day back at work after the holidays. The upshot was that I have NOT, in fact, been spending the first week of 2017 busily working towards achieving all those goals I set myself back at the start of the week.

Actually, I spent a large part of yesterday cleaning up the mess I´d made (This is the second time> in two months that the office carpet has had to be shampooed, thanks to an act of random stupidity from me. On the plus side, though, at least we´re getting our money´s worth out of that carpet cleaner we bought when we realised we were moving into a house filled with off-white carpets, huh?), and praying that my keyboard would survive the soaking – which, spoiler alert, NO, IT DIDN´T. And neither did the carpet, which is still quite badly stained, despite its shampooing.

(I also spent quite a bit of time making the very profound observation that sometimes it´s the smallest mistakes which cause the most damage. Not really in this situation, obviously, because, look, it´s just coffee, let´s not get carried away here, but then again, I reeaaallly can´t afford a new keyboard AND a new carpet right now, so actually, my observation stands…)

The upshot is that I´m typing this post on a spare keyboard which Terry managed to unearth in the attic, and which turned out to be designed for Spanish speakers, so nothing is where I expect it to be, and it took me a full five minutes to find the ´delete´ key. Needless to say, my plans for world domination have had to be slightly postponed, which is why you´re getting a rambling post about coffee today, instead of the “Ima totally smash my blog goals for the year!” content I had planned for this week. The good news, however, is that the dressing gown survived its ordeal unscathed, and I can now type upside down punctuation marks, like ¿ and ¡. I mean, every cloud, right¿¡

How´s your week going?

P.S. The stand-in keyboard does a weird thing with apostrophes which makes WordPress think words containing them are, in fact, two separate words, and treat them accordingly. Any wonky formatting in this post, then, is the fault of the unfamiliar keyboard. Anything you find particularly brilliant, on the other hand, was totally down to me. Ahem.