So, I’m huge now.

And yes, I’m totally just saying that to get it out of the way, so no one needs to go, “Wow, Amber, you’re huge now!” – kind of the same way I’m always the first to point out a new zit, or anything else I’m feeling insecure about, just so I can get in first, and it doesn’t become the elephant in the room or anything. (No, I’m not going to make a joke about me being the “elephant” in this scenario – I can sense you all waiting for it, though…)

Not that it ever would, mind you: I learned very early in this pregnancy that people are definitely not shy when it comes to commenting on my size, so I’ve spent the entire week being told how OMGHUGE I am, and that’s been awesome, seriously. On the plus side, though, my mother-in-law has now told me that the giant butt I’d apparently grown between weeks 17 – 19 has disappeared again, so now I just have a normal butt, but a huge belly: looks like I’ll have to cancel my plans for that Kim Kardashian-style photo shoot, then – ah, well!

Of course, my rapidly-expanding midsection means I’m down to the last dregs of the non-maternity section of my closet. Actually, I can still wear a lot of my old tops and knits, but this was the last skirt standing, so, aside from those stretchy dresses, which are still going strong, it’s going to be maternity wear all the way from here on out. Now, if only someone would make a t-shirt/sweater with, “STOP TELLING ME HOW GIGANTIC I AM,'” or “ANGRY PREGNANT LADY APPROACHING,” emblazoned on the front, I’d be aaaaallll over it…