red haired Scottish woman

Weird Scottish Things Only Scottish People Will Understand

OK, OK, ya got me: the headline of this post is pure hyperbole. The items on this list aren’t just “Scottish things”, and you don’t have to be Scottish to understand them or have experienced them. Let’s just get that out of the way before we go any further here. (i.e. don’t come at me…) If you’ve lived in Scotland, though, I’m pretty sure you might understand…

Having to dress for every possible type of weather, because it changes every 15 minutes.

Leaving the house? You’ll be needing your sunglasses AND an umbrella. Also sunscreen and a snowsuit.

People wearing their summer clothes as soon as the temperature hits double digits.

Taps aff!

“Rangers or Celtic?”

Give me strength…

Having to bite your tongue every time an American pronounces it “Edinboro”

ED-IN-BUR-UH. Say it with me, people…

Related: 14 Things You Absolutely Should Not Do When Visiting Scotland

Or an English person describes you as “Scotch”.

“Scotch” is a drink: I’m Scottish, thanks…

Being charged extra to travel from a Scottish airport.

No cheap holidays for you, then!

Discovering there are no direct flights to where you want to go anyway, so you’re going to have to go via London.

Prepare to get very familiar with the inside of Terminal 5.

Having to avoid Edinburgh for the entire month of August.

Just… no.

Being repeatedly asked if you play golf or drink whisky.

Nope – and I don’t eat deep friend Mars Bars or dink Irn Bru, either!

Related: 12 Scottish stereotypes that are blatantly untrue

People assuming you party until you drop on ‘Hogmanay’, when you actually just watch the fireworks on TV, like everyone else you know.

I will NOT party like it’s 1999, and you cannot make me.

Having to keep explaining that “och aye the noo” doesn’t actually mean anything.

Literal translation: “Oh yes just now.” Say what?

Finding out that the word “outwith” isn’t used, er, outwith Scotland, and being absolutely amazed by it.

How do people even talk without this word?

Being expected to know or care which clan you’re allegedly part of

Look, this isn’t Outlander, you know: no one cares about clans!

Related: Things I learned about Scotland from Highland Romance Novels

Being invited to a wedding, but it’s a ceilidh and you can’t remember how to do any of the dances.

Because you learned them in primary school, and that was… let’s just say a WHILE ago.

People constantly making your fun of your accent

Not all Scottish people sound like Griundskeeper Willie, you know.

Being asked if you hate the English

No. Because I’m not a dick.

Not being able to get a decent bag of chips anywhere other than Scotland.

Salt and sauce, please…

Having to explain what ‘diluting juice’ is

Because we could never just call it “squash”.

Mother’s Pride bread (toasted) and Lurpak butter being an elite snack.

It really is, though.

A “bunker” being a worktop, not something to do with the war.

“Put your messages on the kitchen bunker.”

“Clapping” being something you do to pets

Clue: we are not giving them a round of applause…

Got any other ‘Scottish things’ you’d like to add to this list? 

Weird scottish things that only Scottish People will understand

(not all Scottish people wear tartan, but when we do, we wear it with very high heels and designer sunglasses. Yes.)

RELATED: 

Scottish Stereotypes That Are Blatantly Untrue

Things You Absolutely Should Not Do When Visiting Scotland

Things We Know About Scotland from Historical Romance Novels

 

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books by Amber Eve
COMMENTS
  • Belated Happy BDay 🙂

    March 11, 2015
  • Happy birthday! For your birthday I would like to steal this whole outfit. And maybe be your dress size too.

    It’s OH’s birthday today so we’re off for brunch, and I will look several hundred times less glamorous than you. Damnit.

    March 11, 2015
  • Happy Birthday Amber. Birthdays are meant to be celebrated all week.

    March 11, 2015
  • Wow. That outfit was made for you!!! The colours really make you pop! I think the stereotype that green is the BEST colour for redheads is sooo overrated and over used and more often than not- not the case but this totally works for you in all the right ways!

    P.s happy birthday. A fellow pisces and redhead!

    March 11, 2015
  • Linsey Humphrey

    REPLY

    Lovely pictures as always, Amber. Hope you had a good birthday!

    March 11, 2015
  • Even though you’re not a birthday person, I just have to say it anyway: happy birthday! And speedily moving on now…that skirt is gorgeous! I’m loving Collectif at the moment but had shied away a bit from the pencil skirts as the high waist is just…really high, if that makes sense, but it looks like I was wrong because it’s amazing!
    I know what you mean with the weather too – we had one day where I managed to actually open the back door on our house and leave it open for a good few hours (we don’t have a cat flap, so that’s their only way of getting in and out and it gets tedious opening and closing it every half an hour…). I’m still on the lookout for these elusive nude fishnets though – never managed to find any!

    March 11, 2015
      • Katharine in Brussels

        REPLY

        Hi Amber, hope you had a lovely birthday! Ah, minor adjustments to RTW clothing. Do I spy in my crystal ball a sewing machine in your future? Is that the distant future? Really though, I got my sewing machine for € 60 used and it is a workhorse, but admittedly it’s best to get one when you have a friend who knows how to sew and is willing to show you the ropes. If I lived in Scotland I’d help you out 🙂 but if you ever come to Brussels and want to try out a sewing machine, give us a shout!

        March 16, 2015
  • Catherine

    REPLY

    Happy birthday!

    March 11, 2015
  • Happy belated birthday Amber!

    Big fan of the green leather jacket. Sooo glad it’s time for jackets to make their appearance in the world, instead of coats!

    Very important question: do you have a post written about how you keep your hair SO incredibly healthy/shiny? Cos I’m all levels of jealous and must learn your ways 🙂

    Little Miss Katy | UK Lifestyle Blog

    March 11, 2015
  • This is just perfection, and suits your hair colour brilliantly x
    Laura | A Life With Frills

    March 11, 2015
  • I can never forget when the first day of spring is as it happens to be my boyfriend’s birthday too – and you’d think the blossom on the trees was all for his benefit, seriously! I don’t really mind the spring countdown though as I can’t wait for it to get here – I probably look forward to it more than christmas! Anyway, while we’re on birthdays I hope yours was fab and I love the skirt of course, and the way it so immaculately matches your jacket. I’ve been trying to drag my old leather jacket into outfits now it’s a bit warmer and funnily enough also reached for a Collectif pencil skirt – clearly a math made in heaven 😉

    March 11, 2015
  • Suze

    REPLY

    Happy Birthday for yesterday. Hope you had a lovely day and were suitably spoiled 🙂

    March 11, 2015
  • Irene

    REPLY

    Belated happy birthday!
    We’re having our first day of spring weather in NYC today after a very harsh cold winter, so I’m really excited I might be able to wear something other than the same boring down coat and thick dark colored tights everyday. I’ve always been a hosiery enthusiast and before moving here I had amassed a large collection of stockings and tights, but in NY I only get to wear sheer hosiery for a short time in spring or autumn before it gets either too hot or too cold 🙁 I miss my seamed stockings!
    And by the way, I could never get tired of seeing those shoes. I absolutely love them but as I don’t think I’d be able to walk in them, I must vicariously wear them through you 😀

    March 11, 2015
  • Bex Miller

    REPLY

    We’re birthday week twins! 😀 (mine was on Monday) I was glad it actually felt spring-y, it would have been too depressing to have snow again! x

    March 11, 2015
  • Fran

    REPLY

    Happy Birthday Amber! Also that outfit is insanely chic.

    March 12, 2015
  • You look brilliant Amber <3 Perfect from top to toe, the skirt, jacket and heels are absolutely gorgeous!! Plaid outfits are so classy and you make them look even better.
    Wish you a very Happy Birthday honey (sorry for the late wishes :p) Glad to hear that spring's almost there in the highlands!

    March 12, 2015
  • These photos!

    The light, the scenery, THAT outfit, your amazing hair.

    All the thumbs up!!!!!!!!! And exclamations.

    Are these photos taken morning or evening golden hour? They’re lush.

    March 12, 2015
  • Jess

    REPLY

    I LOVE this. You look so classy and put together.
    Hope you had a lovely birthday.

    March 13, 2015
  • I love this outfit! I hope you had a great birthday.

    March 14, 2015
  • Your hair is amazingly beautiful!

    March 14, 2015
  • Happy belated birthday!! You always look smashing in green x

    March 15, 2015
  • What a gorgeous outfit! You look amazing, and I love these colors on you!

    March 16, 2015
  • This outfit looks amazing on you! I just love this dark green with your red hair. I think I need a green leather jacket like yours. I wish it was jacket season 80% of the year. I’m so jealous of your weather over there. I love moderate temperatures. Not too cold or hot. It’s just 80% warm/hot where I live.

    Also happy belated birthday!

    March 23, 2015
  • Marc Schmier

    REPLY

    Lovely outfit, Amber. Especially the green color! 🙂

    April 27, 2015
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