14 Strange Signs of the Apocalypse*
Lots of things have changed in the world since the Coronavirus pandemic started, but I think the moment it really hit home for me that, wow, OK, things are different now, was the day I logged onto the ASOS website for a quick browse, and, instead of seeing models posing as usual, there was just lots of slightly awkward looking photos of clothes shot against a plain backdrop, with no one in them. SPOOKY.
Here are some of the other random signs of the apocalypse I’ve noticed (*And yes, I know it’s not actually the apocalypse: settle down and let me have my drama, it’s the only fun I get these days…)
01.
Fashion bloggers wearing sweatpants, and posting mirror-selfies, rather than professional street-style looks. (And STILL somehow managing to look 100x better than I do when I’m “dressed up”…)
02.
Getting to see the inside of people’s houses when they’re interviewed on the news, because everything’s done by video call now. All those bookcases, though!
03.
People opening their emails with, “I hope you’re staying safe,” rather than, “I hope you’re well.”
04.
Getting spam emails from brands trying to flog face masks rather than fashion items.
05.
There not being a sports section on the news any more – or a ‘funny’ item at the end of it.
06.
Hearing an aeroplane fly overhead and actually getting up to look at it, because it’s so unusual to see one now.
07.
Everyone insisting on getting their “daily exercise”, even although they’ve never shown even the slightest interest in exercise until now.
08.
Neighbours only being on three times a week, instead of five times. I am NOT OK.
09.
“Once all of this is over…” becoming our most-used phrase.
10.
Everyone standing outside their front doors on a Thursday evening and applauding the NHS and other key workers.
11.
Twitter being almost entirely just references to people’s banana bread.
12.
Everyone’s hands being so dry and cracked that the panic-buying of hand gel will surely soon be followed by a mass shortage of hand cream.
13.
Taped lines outside supermarket, to help people stay two metres apart when queuing.
14.
Toddler PJs being sold out everywhere. (Before anyone yells at me for shopping, Max has outgrown his existing ones – he needs PJs, dammit!)
15.
The internet constantly going down because so many people are using it. Or is that just us?
16.
Only wearing makeup on the days you have a video call scheduled.
17.
Having to carefully sanitise all of your grocery shopping when it arrives, and it being the biggest – and most stressful – thing that happens to you all week.
18.
Your phone battery dying by lunchtime every day because you’ve been refreshing your news app (And, OK, Instagram…) since you woke up.
Which random things are your signs of the apocalypse current situation?
[by Jess @ Harper Sunday]
Laura Steel
For me, it was when the theatres closed. The last time this happened on this scale was back in the 1500s and 1600s when the plague shut them down every so often. It’s crazy to think of all those theatres sitting empty.
Amber
It really is: I’ve been fascinated by all the photos of places sitting empty – it’s so eerie and sad. I keep imagining what theme parks etc must look like right now – so strange to think of normally crowded places being completely abandoned!
Donna
This hit me big time too! The first few days were spent sending emails cancelling my shows, telling my actors, going over insurance and contracts and being super busy doing lots of other admin, then it all just stopped, and I don’t know when I’ll work again…
Liz
Hear you on the bookcases!
May
It’s seeing all the social distancing that does it for me. I’m from Argentina, despite having all the space we could wish for we basically live right next to each other (apparently a study showed you can fit four Argentinians in a square meter). Seeing people stand in line two meters apart from each other when usually there’s only thirty centimeters between one person and the next makes for a really eerie, depressing image
Amber
There’s something a bit spooky about it, isn’t there? I think it’ll definitely be one of the lasting images from this time – assuming people ever go back to standing closer together again, obviously!
Jaynie
The weirdest apocalypse thing thats happened in my world this week was that when my mum went to collect her online grocery order, the person who brought them out told her excitedly that she’d “actually got everything [she] ordered!” as if she’d won some kind of lottery. I guess even the comparatively mild shortages we’re experiencing in this part of the world (most of our food supply is internal and so not as disrupted) are enough to make that a rare treat!
May
I don’t think we will have problems being close together again here… I’m thinking we’ll all be so touch-deprived we’ll basically jump into each other’s arms as soon as we can! But until then, I guess I’ll have to get used to how distant and cold all interactions feel
Kate
Yes to #17. We used to always get our Ocado shop in the evening but I’ve had to change it to the morning because I dread the disinfection process so damn much!
Kate
Also, I’ve noticed that, on the very occasional quick walk we’ve taken around the block – it is now considered socially imperative to acknowledge (nod, smile or say hi) to everyone you meet?! I never did this before but now everyone has become extra friendly (while simultaneously crossing the road to avoid each other)
Alice
Obviously you may choose to do this but official guidance doesn’t say that it is necessary…… just make sure to wash your hands.
(I’m also impressed that you manage to get an Ocado shop, we can’t get anything online, I have to walk to the shop with my 3 year old!)
Amber
Terry’s entitled to priority slots because he’s on the shielding list, but even with that we’ve struggled to get slots – I feel so sorry for the supermarket staff who’re having to deal with all of the extra deliveries 🙁
Alice
yes, I knew you were but I was wondering how the other person had managed it! I definitely don’t want priority over people who can’t go out, but it is frustrating that all the other options seem to assume you drive (eg I COULD book click and collect – but my nearest big supermarket is too far for me to walk carrying all my shopping and supervising my child; and Morrisons are apparently taking supplies to hospital car parks, but as I don’t drive to work I still wouldn’t be able to carry things home).
It’s a minor thing in the grand scheme of things, obviously, I’m very grateful that I am well enough to have the choice to walk to the local shop!
Amber
Ah yes, it’s still frustrating, though: it must be absolutely impossible to do a weekly shop on foot, and with a toddler in tow!
Arndis
But what about the sourdough?
Amber
Who would’ve thought a grocery delivery would be so stressful!
Fiona
Just about every garden nearby suddenly being dug over and tidied and with new patio furniture.
Also local walks which are usually quiet suddenly being full of people who would previously rather die than use their feet to travel.
Myra
I agree about people’s studies with the bookcases, but it’s the pictures on the walls that fascinate me because I know they are likely to be relatives or even ancestors (there’s quite a few in uniform). Not seeing a soul in the street is weird when I go out for a walk twice a week (not that’s its normally busy).
The postwoman ringing the doorbell then standing well back when I go to the door and she points at a little parcel on the doorstep is weird.
Not going out to do my own shopping. Marsha does it once a week and chooses what she thinks I will like (which I do as she knows me well), but I’d much rather be choosing myself.
Myra
And trying to read the book titles so I can judge (not really) their taste.
Amber
Yes, the whole thing with couriers etc pointing to the parcel from a distance is so strange! Quite a few of the delivery people around here have been wearing masks and gloves, too, which is also pretty surreal – because we’re not going out it’s the only time we ever see that, and it makes me feel a bit like we’re in a movie about the apocalypse or something…
Cheila Martins
Hey Amber. Honestly, the strangest thing for me was this one time I asked my husband if we could go somewhere and his answer was “you know we can’t just be wandering about”. It’s not something I thought I’d ever hear because it makes me think of the time when my country was under a dictatorship (40 something years ago) and there were freedom restrictions and a curfew. I’m too young to have experienced it so this was the closest I’ve been to our grandmothers stories. Also, working from home, wearing pajamas (I’m shameless) and being able to use your own bathroom during your work day ???? it feels like a luxury.
Amber
For the first couple of weeks, I only changed out of my pyjamas to put on clean pyjamas – no shame!
Floby Villaralvo
The outgrown clothes, I am feeling the same while folding Laia’s clothes not only pajamas.
Amber
I know – I’ve been trying to resist online shopping, but Max is definitely not going to fit into his summer clothes from last year!
Manola
I’m from Italy and the first sign of the incoming Apocalypse was the shutdown of churchs, even if I’m not as devote as many others.
This meant that something big was happening, and a lot of people still didn’t understand this since the enormous drama of Bergamo, all the coffins collected by the Italian Army and a 400% mortality 2020 vs. 2019. That was sad….
We are slowly coming back to a some sort of normality, but we still miss the bars, the restaurants, being close to friends and siblings.
Like Gloria Gaynor said: I will survive!
XXX
Amber
Ah, yes – I’m not remotely religious, but there are just some things that make you think, “OK, this is really serious…” and I can imagine that being one of them. The coffins being collected by the army was just absolutely heartbreaking – I’m so glad you’re starting to get back to some kind of normality now, even if it’s not the ‘normal’ we’re all hoping for…
Fi
Number 7! Where have all these people come from who are suddenly so enthusiastic about walking?! I used to be able to go for a walk on a weekend afternoon and barely see anyone but now I will be crisscrossing every street to avoid them all (because they are not going to move, or walk any fewer than 2-3 abreast on the pavement, so it’s me that has to cross or step into the road to avoid them!).
Claire
The hand cream comment made me laugh. My mum could stock the entire south west if that becomes an issue. People love to give her hand cream, and she never uses it. We have a box full just in case.
Donna
1. Starting a new job without meeting any of my co-workers
2. Sitting on my bed to do conference calls as my boyfriend has commandeered the living room for his meeting
3. Worst of all, losing people and not being able to go to their funeral