12 Things Women With Long Hair Are Sick of Hearing
A few weeks ago, I wrote about the things redheads are sick of hearing, but, of course, people with red hair aren’t the only ones who get the same old comments over and over again. If you have long hair, for instance, (By which I mean, “anything longer than shoulder-length”) you might just recognise some of these…
Wow, you have long hair!
Oh really? Is this MINE? I didn’t even notice!
Why don’t you cut it all off?
For some reason, when you have long hair, some people become fixated on trying to get you to cut it short. Why do they do this? Is it just for THE DRAMA? I mean, sure, everyone has their personal taste, and long hair isn’t for everyone, but why try to force everyone else to conform to your taste? I DO like long hair, but I wouldn’t try to convince someone with short hair that she should grow it just to suit me: isn’t it kind of weird to try to convince people they need to change their appearance, anyway?
But it’s just hair!
Yeah, it’s just hair: and that thing on the front of my face is just a nose, but I’m not going to cut that off either. You only need to experience one really bad haircut to know that it may be “just hair”, but hating something that’s actually attached to your body ain’t much fun…
(Also, if it’s “just hair”, why are you making such a fuss about persuading me to cut it?)
It’ll grow back, silly!
Sure it will: in, like, FIVE YEARS, depending on how short you cut it. Sure, I’ll spend half a decade waiting to look like myself again: where do I sign up?
You should be brave! Take a risk!
Look, jumping out of a plane is brave. Running into a burning building to save a trapped kitten is brave. Cutting your hair off when you don’t really want to, on the other hand, just to prove how “brave” you are? That’s just silly. And why do I need to “take a risk” anyway? When did that become a thing to be admired? What if I don’t really want to take risks? I’ll tell you what: if being seen to be “taking risks” is THAT important to you, why not start taking your safety belt off when you’re driving?* It would be OMGSUCHARISK! SO BRAVE! And when you do that, I’ll chop off all my hair: deal?*
(*DO NOT REMOVE YOUR SAFETY BELT WHILE DRIVING, PEOPLE. SERIOUSLY.)
It would be liberating!
Forcing myself to do something I don’t want to do, just because someone told me I should do it, isn’t my idea of “liberating”. Wearing my own damn hair however I want to wear it, on the other hand? Sounds like a plan.
But it must be so boring having it long all the time!
When people tell me my hair is boring, my first thought is that I didn’t realise my hair had a duty to entertain people. I thought it was something that only really affected me, you know? But some people seem to look to my hair for their entertainment, which is all kinds of weird to me. I can’t really imagine coming home from an evening out and saying to Terry, “GOD, Lucy’s hair was SO BORING tonight! Did you see the way it just kind of HUNG there? And that story it told about the monkey: SNOOZE!” It’s OK for hair to be boring: people will just have to get their excitement somewhere other than on my head.
(I don’t know anyone called Lucy. I hope.)
Doesn’t it take forever to dry?
It takes about 10 minutes. If 10 minutes = “forever” to you, my best advice to you is to never watch The Hobbit, because you won’t even have a word for how long that movie is, seriously.
(Ten minutes to blow dry, I mean. If I let it air dry – yeah, that pretty much WOULD take forever, actually: you win this round!)
It must take a really long time to style, though!
Most of the time, blow-drying IS “styling” for me: I blow dry it (ten minutes), run my Babyliss Big Hair through it (another five minutes, max), and that’s it. Even when I do style it by curling it in some way, it’s not like I have to clear my diary for it: sure, there ARE styles that I’m sure would take a lot of time to do, but not everyone with long hair is into creating elaborate, complicated styles with it: a lot of us just wash and go. (Or wash and blow, in my case.) Actually, my sister-in-law just cut her mid-length hair short, and tells me it takes much longer to style now than it did when it was longer: go figure.
How did you grow it?
It actually grew itself, if you want to know the truth – I just sat back and let it happen! I often think having long hair is a bit like being interested in fashion or makeup: it makes people assume you’re a bit vain or empty-headed, or that you’re excessively concerned with your appearance. Actually, it sometimes just means that you’re too lazy to get regular haircuts, or – SHOCK HORROR – don’t really care enough to keep changing it, and just let it do its own thing.
Doesn’t it get in the way? It must be such a hassle!
It does when it’s windy, or if you’re leaning over to work on something, yeah. But that’s what hair ties are for, and why most women with long hair are rarely seen without a collection of hair elastics on their wrists. (I’m still waiting for this to take off as a “trend”. It hasn’t happened yet…) I’m not Rapunzel, though, so again: not really THAT big a deal in the great scheme of things, otherwise everyone would have buzzcuts. And as with the “it must take FOREVER!” point, if quickly tying your hair back to get it out of the way is what you consider to be a “hassle”, then yeah, I guess it’s a big, massive hassle? Or something?
But don’t you ever want to change it? I’d get sick of having the same style all the time!
Honestly? No, I really don’t. I get the feeling (from all of the comments I get about it) that this is unusual or even “weird”, but I genuinely don’t relate to the need to constantly change or experiment with my appearance, be it hair, clothes or anything else. It just isn’t something that interests me, or that I think about much. I think this surprises people because I AM very interested in clothes and in style, but I’ve reached a stage in my life where I know what I like, and “changing it up” all the time, just for the sake of it, hasn’t ever held much appeal to me.
Some people, however, seem to be unable to separate the idea of what you do with your hair, and what you’re like as a person, so someone who doesn’t feel the need to change their hairstyle frequently is seen as boring, resistant to change, and unadventurous, while those who do like to experiment are almost viewed as being better people for it. Actually, though, I’m going to go back on what I said earlier, and point out that it doesn’t have to be quite so serious: sometimes it really IS “just hair”.
* * *
Of course, I’m sure women with short hair, or curly hair, or basically ANY kind of hair at all could write a similar list of all the comments they hear over and over (And seriously, what’s with that? Why is other people’s hair so important?), so have at it, people: what comments are YOU sick of hearing?
(Disclaimer: I’m not ACTUALLY annoyed by these comments, by the way: I just think it’s amusing that people always come up with the same misconceptions all the time, and, as always, this post was written with my tongue firmly inserted in my cheek!)
Related: Babyliss Curl Secret
char
Yes. I get these ALL THE FREAKING TIME. Like, so what if I want to keep my long hair. I spent my childhood wishing I had long hair but was only allowed it if I kept it tidy and I really don’t. I mean didn’t. But to be fair, I still don’t now. And most of the time I can’t even be bothered to blow dry it, so it dries itself. OH is always suggesting I get it cut and I don’t understand why, I like it.
Amber
It’s so strange – some people really do act like having/liking long hair is some kind of personal failing, and then extrapolate it into a criticism of you as a person – like you must be really boring and unadventurous, just because you have a particular hairstyle that you like!
mplo
Good for you for standing up to people who refuse to mind their own business about how you wear your hair. As a woman in her early 70’s with long, very curly reddish hair who prefers it long, I’ve had people do likewise to me. There are times when telling them to f**k and mind their own business is the only way to get through to such people.
Anca
I had long hair for the last 30 years of my life (I’m 32 :)) ) and I heard a lot of similar comments.
Usually I am amused by this. But I don’t think is more appropriate to comment on someone’s hair as would be on commenting on the weight, clothes or something similar. A compliment is nice and welcomed, but anything else is just impolite.
Tina
I love the print of your dress in this photo, and of course, your hair!
Yes, I do get comments like that all the time. I wore my hair long for years, and now I feel comfortable with my pixie cut.
I like changes and new styles, and my hair grows pretty fast, so I may go back to long hair again, who knows.
I even got comments like – “you are too tall anyway and it is a shame to wear heels”
Vickie
Yes, yes, yes! See also, ‘You should cut it off and donate it to kids with cancer’. Why thank you for adding a guilt-trip to the demand that I change my appearance to suit you.
I’ve had my hair fairly short (shoulder length bob) for the last few years, but am growing it out long again now and am already finding it much easier to manage. Buns actually stay up, ponytails look chic rather than stubby, and it no longer flicks out weirdly at the ends because it’s grown past my shoulders. Short hair is a massive hassle in comparison!
Amber
Oh God, yes! I haven’t had anyone say that to me personally, thank God, but I have seen/heard people say it to other people, and I always think it’s SO rude! I mean, I’m all for helping cancer sufferers, but telling people they’re obliged to cut off their hair is a bit much. I’d be really tempted to respond by saying, “OK, and you should sell your car/house/anything else that’s worth something and donate the money to charity – you don’t really need a new car, anyway!”
Vickie
Agreed! Or just grow your own hair, if it means that much to you.
Jaime
Omg the “donate for cancer” guilt trip is THE WORST. I mean, I don’t go around telling people with short hair that they should really get on growing their hair so that they can then cut it off and donate it?
mplo
I agree. That “donate one’s hair for cancer” suggestion is the worst guilt trip! Why people do that is rather mind-boggling, and practically defies belief. Tell them that how you wear your hair is nobody’s business but your own, or, if that doesn’t work, tell them to f**k off, Sometimes, that’s the only way to get through to people who are so obnoxiously persistent.
Daisy
Bit irrelevant, but what shoes are you wearing? They look fab!
Amber
They were just a pair of court shoes from Matalan – they’re from about 5/6 years ago, though!
Lisa
Stupid comments about long hair… I definetely know some of them. The classic “Why do you have long hair if you wear it in a bun all the time?” – because my favourite buns don’t work with short hair *roll eyes*
Or “Wait, your hair is that long [it was hip lenght that time]? Since your bun is so small you must have really this hair!” No, my hair is perfectly normal, but a twisted and neat bun is smaller than the usual styles at the street which contain either lots of air/teased hair or are sockbuns. (There is nothing wrong with these buns but the comparison sucks.)
No matter what people say, I love my long hair, it is not boring because I know about 40 different hairstyles and own lots of hair accessories (my obsession. You have shoes, I freak out when I see new pieces) and my usual hairstyles take about three minutes, more or less.
mplo
I agree, Lisa. My long reddish hair is very curly, so it looks somewhat shorter than it really is, because it curls up so much. When I’ve just shampooed and conditioned it, however, and it’s therefore wet, it’s about down to the middle of my back.
I, too, like to wear my hair in different ways, and I have lots of different colored scrunchies or whatnot to prove it.
Fran
I have long ringlets and what annoys me the most is that people are obsessed with touching it. I get that people aren’t used to it, but you CAN’T just come up to me and touch my hair. What most annoys me is when they don’t even just come up and pat it (which already makes me feel like a dog) but when they get ahold of one ringlet and pull on it to see it spring back. Why they would think that it’s ok I do not get.
Also people are always telling me that curly hair is ‘unprofessional’ or ‘just doesn’t look neat’. So long as it’s clean and not all over my face, it’s just infinitely annoying to be described as ‘messy’ when that is just the way mother nature made you. -.-
Elizabeth Rose
I was once told I was being selfish for not cutting and donating my hair. Selfish? Really?
Amber
Oh wow, that’s so awful! I’m assuming the person who said that doesn’t own ANYTHING at all that isn’t completely necessary to their survival, and that they donate every spare penny they have to charity? Because if they don’t, they’re totes selfish too!
Lizzie
I wanted a change a couple of years ago so started toying with the idea of cutting my hair short. The backlash and resistance I got from sooooo many people was astounding! “WHY would you want to cut your beautiful hair?!?!?”, “No, just don’t, We forbid it”, “I will pay you to keep it” (boyfriend prior to proposal six months later) and so on. So I signed up to little princess trust and did 30 days of fund raising prior to getting a pixie cut. I parted with 1 1/2 of golden locks and raised 600 pounds for charity. Even after I’d declared that it was for a good cause, I got sooo much resistance from various people, but my lobed ones suported me. Bottom line, people impart their opinions every chance they get, so as sick as we are of it, getting in the line of fire of those opinions just means that we are noteworthy to the world whether we want to be or not.
Wild Tea Party
Thank you! This is the story of my life. I like my long hair. We get on fine. I trim it when the ends start getting accidently tucked into the top of my underpants or something, and my hair and I do plenty of great hair styles. Sure there’s a lot of it, but why is that anyone else’s business?! I feel like my long hair is part of my identity to a degree. I genuinely get offended now when people tell me to cut it. I can’t help it. Which makes me sound bad, but it gets very tiring “defending” my hair!
Amber
It really does, especially when “defending your hair” turns into “defending your personality”, in that, “Oh, you have long hair – you must not be brave, because if you were, you’d cut it all off!” kind of way. I hate feeling like I have to alter my appearance just to “prove” myself in some way!
Wild Tea Party
Exactly! I’m brave, I’ve committed to growing my hair to such lengths you can’t fathom how I do it, people! The time that offended me most though was when I was at a salon waiting for my friend to finish getting her hair done and her hairdresser says to me, “Don’t you think it’s too long?”
Jayne
As a short-haired lass (and l mean actual boy-hair short) I roll my eyes every time l see a woman on pinterest pin a pic of a very short ‘do with a comment ‘I wish l was brave enough to do this.’ I think if you can’t take a chance on a new hairstyle, how will you ever take a chance on something important like, say, telling someone you LIKE like them?
Having said that tho…I did work my way from long to short gradually and l had had short hair previously
TinaD
Like Fran, as a curly-haired person, i find people constantly touching my hair–to test the curl, to “pat” it back into “place,” whatever. I am gifted (apparently) with more hair than the average, as well, and every hairdresser I’ve ever been to mentions it and wants to “thin” it. No thanks–been down that road–in two weeks the thick bit will grow back in and I’ll look like a Dr. Seuss character. And, a little later, Billy Ray Cyrus. What amazes me is that the same hairdressers push “voluminizers” on the thin-haired set. So volume is the Holy Grail, but only if you don’t already have it?
CiCi Marie
Ah, all so true. I don’t get the thing about long hair being boring AT ALL – I can do SO MUCH with my hair. Even more so because of the fact that it’s virtually all one length – I can create hair masterpieces with this ‘do, I tell you, masterpieces! Well… maybe not, but I can definitely make it look quite different depending on my mood – playful ponytail, professional bun, twists, rolls… you name it, I’ve got enough hair to do it. But having it cut so short you can’t do anything with it – that, to me, is boring. My sister basically has a Miley Cyrus mohawk – she can’t do anything with it but ‘up’.
Ashlea
DONT CUT IT!
Seriously, I have long hair and have been toying with the idea of chopping it off – just for something new. My hair is actually the one thing in my life I WILL be adventurous about π But my friends and family have practically staged an intervention to prevent me from cutting it off!
Fiona
I hear you. I’ve always had longish hair but over the last year I have been too disorganised/poor to get regular trims and now people are noticing and commenting. I’m also getting to that sort of age where people probably think I’m ‘too old’ for long hair (to be fair, no-one has said this to me but I’ve heard it said about others) but I like it and so it’s staying. I actually find this longer length more versatile which I must try and remember when I see a dozen articles about ‘the lob’ and feel tempted.
Rachel
I have had short hair for about a year and after I cut it off so many people said, “you cut your hair!” (as if they have never heard of a single person in all of their lives that would do such a thing) or “your hair is short!” At first, it made me nervous because no one would give their opinion, they were just starting obvious facts; but then I realized that I liked my hair style, so it didn’t really matter.
Claire
People always want to cut my hair short it stresses me out! I love my long hair haha
Had to change my hairdresser to someone with long hair so they understand I do NOT want a bob when I ask for a trim….
Mandy
I am so envious of anybody with long, beautiful hair because I suffer with thinning hair that won’t grow past my shoulders. I would love to have hair like yours Amber and can’t believe why anybody would wonder why you have it long or tell you to cut it! Crazy!
Annick
All so recognisable!
Also very annoying is the “are these real/natural curls” remark accompanying the patting and tugging of my curls.
Louise
I hate people who tell you to cut your hair! I got mine cut about five years ago into a really short, thinned out bob and it has taken until now for it to return to how it was. Including a period where I bobbed it again because it was so thin and ratty. Now it’s about bra-hook length and it’s so much easier to manage because I can give it a quick blow dry and that’s it, whereas when I had shorter hair I had to put so much effort into styling it every day!
Flagless
I too get this all the time. Another thing is that I don’t dye my hair, which is another sin, I suppose. The funny thing is that I usually get told to change something about my hair by a friend who has literally had the same hairstyle since I’ve met her, some 10 years ago – her hair is shoulder-length and dyed blonde and she has a fringe. She always wears her hair in the exact same way. Me, on the other hand? I’ve had the same length and colour of hair pretty much my entire adult life, but I actually do something different with it every now and then – a ponytail, a bun, a plait, a French braid, two French braids, even pigtails and Princess Leia double buns… I have long hair, true, but I have many different hairstyles precisely because of that length, unlike those with short hair, who don’t have the means to create many things with theirs. In my book, my hair is not the boring one.
Georgina
Oh my god do not EVER give in to these people!!! I made this mistake a couple of months ago and I am now willing my hair to grow damnit!! Feels good for all of about a week, and then you find it doesn’t go into a topknot properly and it hangs awkwardly when you just let it air dry and it’s just so damn frustrating!! Gah!!
Georgina | The Librarian
Amanda-Jaied
I always agree with you! My personal annoyance comes from the sentence “where do you get your extensions?” Like what? Is it impossible to have long hair without it being fake? Does my hair look fake? Why would I were a clip in ponytail to work EVERY DAMN DAY? It’s crazy how obsessed with hair people are. And I swear if one more stranger touches my hair I’ll flip out. Oh and also I hope you’ve never had to experience your hairdresser using extensions to measure your hair length in front of a salon full of “interested” onlookers! X
Amber
I get this about the colour – constant, constant questions about what kind of dye I use: not “do you dye it”, always “what colour do you use when you dye” it, as if there’s no possible way that red hair can ever be real. I even added it to my F.A.Q. but I still get near-daily questions about hair dye!
Emily
Bless this post. (hair – long enough to sit on, used to be bob with bangs when I was little)
Moni
Amber, would you like to trade (physical) places with me? (Or swap the people who know us?) Because since I cut my hair short, EVERYBODY around me (with the notable exclusion of my mother) has told me that I should let it grow long again.
And interestingly I’ve come up with almost the same arguments as you, most of all the “It’s MY hair, it’s MY head, and I alone decide what I do with it.”
Seriously, what is going on in people’s heads??!!
I have to agree, though, that cutting it has in fact been sort of “liberating”, for me, but not because of the weight or the time it took to style it, but mostly because my hair just has the wrong texture/structure for being worn long. I had to brush it more or less constantly to keep it from getting tangled, which annoyed not only me, but also the people around me. (Yes, the same ones who now pester me about growing it again. Go figure!)
On the other hand it was so fine and so sleek that hair pins kept sliding, and there were always loose strands unfortunately that didn’t like “cool bed head”, but just disheveled. π
But as I said, that’s MY head and MY experience, and I wouldn’t ever dare tell anybody what to do with their hair.
Because, as you correctly stated: Entertaining other people is not the duty of hair.
Corinne
I hear ya. I love my long, boring hair. Apart from when I get it trapped in my car door. Then I get a bit stressed.
Corinne x
barefoot duchess
I am a personal style blogger and I have very long hair, a bit longer than yours I think. I never get comments like this from my readers, they love my hair, however I do get them from people I know in person… And that’s even weirder! All those thoughts you wrote down here come to my mind so I can totally relate.
xoxo
barefoot duchess
Ruth
Amber, I saw a thing online that I thought might be useful – a bracelet to hold your hair ties so it doesn’t cut off your circulation/looks nicer than a collection of hair ties on your wrist! I think it might only be available in the US just now though (sad face). HuffPo or Buzzfeed had an article on it the other day, I think it’s called Bitter Sweet Jewelry (American spelling).
Ruth
Found it – they do ship internationally.
http://www.bittersweet.is
Lenore
From my sixth birthday up until last December I had two and a half feet of hair. It took my four years of toying with the idea to decide to cut it and even then I had to squeeze someone’s hand all the way through. I do love my new short hair but you’re quite right about it taking longer to style. You also have to get it cut much more often which means I’m spending more money on it now than I ever have.
Trudy
Haha! I agree with all your comments. I stopped getting my long hair professionally trimmed after my hairdresser kept trying to get me to cut it short. Now I trim it myself and no one has noticed the difference and I save a ton of money. I do literally nothing to my hair either, apart from washing and blow-drying. One thing that had always annoyed me was how long it would take to dry, I always assumed this was because it was long. My mother can towel dry her short hair and it will be dry in 10 seconds (slight exaggeration but not much). Then the other day I read an article which said that people’s hair can actually have different absorption properties, I had never known this was possible. A way to test is to take clean dry hair and float it on a bowl of water. If it sinks straight away (like mine does), it’s basically soaking up all that water like a sponge! So even if I cut it short it wouldn’t help the problem, and I quite like it long thanks, Mum π
Peggy Lyu
I used to have very long hair (hips lenght) and one day they burnt…Yes, I walked near the burner and swoosh..fire! Then it has always taken forever to let them grow. Now they are middle back long and still they grow really really slowly… I dye my hair every 2 months just to explain how slowly they grow.
And yes, I spent really a lot of money just to get an horrorful haircut (the opposite of what I asked for and too much short) so I really fear the moment when I have to cut them.
And people alway ask me why I don’t cut them, they tell me that I’d look better with short hair (ehm..no, really) and now that the summer is coming I will be more comfortable with short hair (hair that attach on my neck..bleah).
Ok it takes more than 10 minutes to dry them butwho cares?
Claire
I hate how people somehow seem to think they have the right to comment on your hair/ any other aspect of your appearance. I’ve got super curly hair and people always ask “why don’t you straighten it?” and it’s like they don’t even realise how insulting it is and then I have to justify my hair choices to them (My hair actually doesn’t straighten very well, it’s fine and prone to frizz so when I have tried it looks fine for a few hours but it flies all over the place, sticks to my face and then goes curly after a few hours or less if it’s vaguely humid/damp) It drives me bonkers, I think I might just start asking them what’s wrong with my hair, the implied insult is there anyway and I kind want them to have to face the fact they are being rude.
Also I totally agree with your post, if you’re happy with your hair why should you cut your hair in a way you don’t think will suit you just for novelties’ sake? I’d also argue that short hair is often less flexible than long hair- most people with super short hair wear it the same way everyday, with long hair we can mix it up with updos ect. (including the faux bob -ha!)
Catherine
You can never win with these people: I used to have LONG hair and when I decided to chop them off recently they were telling me “are you sure, aren’t you afraid of regretting it?”. Even the hairdresser was freaking out.
It’s like whatever you do with your own body is always problematic, tsss…
Sophikita
I didn’t realise my hair had a duty to entertain people. *snigger*
I have curly hair and everyone asks “is that your natural curl” in a disbelieving voice. I hardly ever wear it straight but people always seem startled.
Hana Mond
I never hear comments like that … (I’m German, perhaps long hair is more common here? Or people just assume I wear my hair long to look different from my short haired twin sister?)
My hair takes forever to dry indeed – I think, it’s not a matter of the length, but the structure of the hair. My boyfriend’s short hair is dry in a minute (although it’s thick!), my sister’s short hair takes muuuch longer …
Pia
Interesting! It’s actually the other way around for me. I have naturally red hair too. (Passed down for generations in my family. Can I be proud to say that? I mean it’s hair for god’s sake, but it is also an identifying feature of my family. However, that’s a different topic…)
At the moment my hair is about 20 inch long.It is longest hair I’ve ever had and as a person who had basicly every kind of hairstyle in her live it is a very loooong time to let hair grow as long as it is now. Now and then I miss the times of an effortless bob or a cool pixie…. (Mostly in summer when it gets over 30Β°C.) The first reaction I get from friends when I mention, I might cut it all off, is a long drawn-out “NOOOOO!”. Follwed by something like: “But it’s so nice and long! I would kill for long red hair like yours!” So it seems like the exact opposite reaction you get. While I feel like it’s boring, too much work and it will grow back eitherway, people that are close to me are totally against cutting it off.
I find it also quite amusing that the fact that my hair is red, is used as an “argument” for keeping it long. This is an observation I’ve made a few times now. For some people red hair only seems to be appealing when it is long and curly. When it appears in form of a bob it’s ‘okay’ and in a pixie cut it is absolutly ‘awful’… I like them all. Miranda Hobbes the ‘Sex and the City’ character is probably the best example that red hair also looks great when it is short! And the fact that I also got compliments when I had short hair made myself feel confirmed in my belief. It is just a matter of types and tastes! Who would have guessed… π
Even if I get all those “good advises” concerning my hair, I choose how I want to wear it. It worked quite good for the last 20 years… One good thing about becoming an adult is that you expand your knowledge about yourself and your preferences, and you gain more confidence to ignore “good advises”. π
Best wishes from Germany
Pia x
Nellie
Great article. I’ve heard most of these comments from people. I like what you said about how others view people with long hair as having some personality flaws. I have felt that and have considered cutting it because of others’ perception. In the end I have kept my hair long because I actually like my hair long, and I don’t really care what anyone else thinks about it. I lost all my hair a few years ago after chemo and when it grew back in people kept saying to “Keep it short.” Really? I had spent months bald, and I just wanted my long hair back.
daisy jones
I hear ya!
I too love my long hair, (I am past 40) so I get the comments about age, my Mother thinks it should be shorter…..nope Mum…. my hair, my rules!
Your hair is beautiful!
Bestest d x
Selina
There does seem to be this idea that the older a woman gets, the shorter she should cut her hair until we’ve all got this cauliflower curl that old ladies usually end up having. But then I find that so many people have this sort of fear of having grey hair and so letting your hair go grey and growing it to a longer length must mean that you’ll look bedraggled/less groomed or something like that
Amanda
I have long, quite curly, blonde hair and people are always like “how did you get it that long!” and one person said “you know you can get it permanently straightened.” I like my natural hair and people seem to think that curly hair is wrong in some way and that you want to change it! Another was like “OOOOH it’s sooo golden!” My hair is what I would describe as dark blonde so it really isn’t! Also I’m sick of people touching it! Seriously please stop touching my hair
wearingwolf
Yes, ma’am! I am all about this post <3
So relate-able π
xx
Carolyn
it has taken me years to get my hair to my elbows. Not going to chop off my hard earned length. For those who think I should donate it, I advise them I give blood that saves lives and then ask them if they are on the list to give bone marrow. They can donate money, their car or even an eye to a person with no sight. So I have no regrets or feelings of guilt when I hear their crap. I tell them that if they think it is such a great cause, why are they so selfish cutting their hair short when they should be growing it out to donate. Besides they have warehouses full of hair that people were guilted into chopping off. And they make millions off that donated hair selling it for hair extensions.
Allie
Just stumbled across this post via Pinterest and had to comment! I had a chin-length bob for a few years which people seemed to LOVE – I loved it too, but I wanted a change and I wanted to have more options for things to do with my hair. The bob was great but being a bob was pretty much all it could do as it was too short and layered to tie up or style differently. That meant if I had a bad hair day, or I got rained on, or it was a really hot day, I was stuck with it – I had to style and straighten it every day and if it got blown about it’d look rubbish and there was nothing I could do about it. So I’ve been growing my hair for about 18 months and it’s now just below my shoulders. And I’m starting to get the ‘But what’s the point of growing your hair if you’re just going to tie it up all the time?’ (because it’s easier and there are way more ‘tying it up’ options for me to play with), ‘But your hair is SO THICK, surely it takes forever to style?’ (yes it would if I bothered to style and straighten it, but see my previous point about tying it up) and ‘You should cut your hair short again! That bob looked great!’ (thanks but I fancied a change) comments. I even stopped going to my previous hairdresser because every time I went for a cut they just went on about how I should let them cut my hair off, it was too heavy to be long, it wouldn’t look good, etc etc. I’m not sure why people care so much – it’s my hair, not theirs!
becky :: ACCOOOHTREMENTS LIFE + STYLE BLOG
“If 10 minutes = βforeverβ to you, my best advice to you is to never watch The Hobbit, because you wonβt even have a word for how long that movie is, seriously.”
LOL, seriously.
Nikki
The question I get the most is “how long did it take you to grow” as though I went from bald to my current length and timed how long it took!
Carolyn
Actually that is a very nice question. They are showing they understand it takes time and TLC to grow such beautiful hair. Some women take years to get a few inches and others are blessed to grow it from their shoulders to their hips in a couple years. As long as they are not making rude comments about it needs to be cut, it’s boring or touching it without my permission, asking how how it took me to grow my hair past my elbows, especially if prefaced or followed by a compliment is fine with me. I complimented another lasy whose hair was much longer than mine, it was mid thigh, her hair grows very fast, took her three years from her shoulder blades to reach that length. Great hair growing genes. She had a creepy lady come up and start grabbing and handling it and didn’t know what to say. I told her I would loudly say, “Why are you touching me? Please stop it!” To let them know my hair is not an animal to be petted like a dog.
Steffi
I can confirm that you can write a list like that for any kind of hair. I had reeeaaally long hair (to my hips) until i turned 15. And all i heard before was the things listed above. “Isn’t in boring? Does it ever dry?…” Then i cut my hair (because i wanted to) to a chin-lenght bob. And from that exact moment comments changed to: “Don’t you regret it? Long hair is soo beautiful! It will take much longer to style now! It will take years to grow it back! I think girls should have long hair…” Well…people… π
Melina
As a long-haired woman, I’m of course familiar with all these… For me, the most annoying of them is the way cutting your hair, and having short hair, is somehow considered “brave” and “liberating” *rolls eyes*… And the worst is, one sometimes hears this from those who have long hair themselves! Like you, I’ve never really understood what exactly is so “liberating” about it! If you hate your long hair, maybe, but I’m sure most don’t… For me it’s an important part of my identity, and like you said so well, I truly don’t want to spend half a decade looking & feeling like myself again! There seems to be something about this that’s so very hard to get, for most people… And also generally, it really is so weird how one’s appearance is thought to be everyone else’s business for some reason, just like your other posts on pale skin and red hair show, but it goes for any other appearance issue too, basically. And not only that, but also just like your other posts prove, the way people think they are soooo funny and clever coming up with all those silly remarks, and repeating the same old things one has already heard a million times before! Geez… Sometimes it’s very easy to just lose all the faith in humanity, I must admit! π
Melina
Oh, and just to add, even though long-haired, I’m actually never seen with seen with a collection of hair elastics on my wrist π – elastics aren’t really good for hair anyway, but I simply use a hair clip to put it up, whenever I want or need to π So much for the imagined “hassle”, yes…
mplo
Good for you, Flawless. My very naturally curly reddish hair is also long, and I, too like wearing it many different ways, depending on the kind of mood I’m in and/or what I’m doing. It’s fun to wear one’s hair in different ways, depending on what mood I”m in, or what I’m doing. I’ve had short hair, hated it, and couldn’t wait for it to grow back. I once had bangs, but grew them out.
I don’t hesitate to tell people to mind their own business, or even to tell them to f**k off, when they’re too obnoxiously persistent to mind their own business. Somethings telling such a nosy person to f**k off is the only way to get through to them, if one gets the drift.
Elastics are terrible for hair anyway. As someone with very naturally curly long reddish hair, I spent lots of time looking for things that grab the hair without breaking it. I bought a bag of different colored satin scrunchies, which do the trick. I can wear my hair in any style I want to.
Rachel
I have had short hair for several years now, and when I first got it done, some people would say things like “oh, don’t worry, it will grow out again”. (I thought back, “too bad your brain won’t grow more”). But I got far more compliments. My hair is also naturally curly, and I get tired of being asked if I have ever thought about straightening it, why don’t I straighten it, wouldn’t it look much better straightened out. You know what? People who ask that would look much better with duct tape over their mouths. But again, I get far more people loving my curls!
Ellis Woolley
I’d never really thought about all of these before but as a person with long hair, I can definitely recall these comments happening ALL the time – maybe I’ve just become numb to it? It’s similar in a way to being short and it’s the first thing new people say when they meet you ‘oh my god you’re so cute’. I’m sorry what?
Thanks for sharing π x
Ellis // http://www.elliswoolley.co.uk
Saffron Nightshade
In my experience, some stylists are taught to guilt clients into doing whatever is unnatural for their hair in order to keep them “chemically dependent” (in a state requiring more than the present salon visit – permed/coloured or whatever). It’s all for the money.
mplo
That’s true, but some stylists are taught to guilt-trip clients into having short hair for the same reasons—i. e. for the money. Short hair, imho, is far higher maintenance than short hair, because it requires going to the beauty salon much more often than long hair. Having long hair is a godsend for me, partly because I can do more with it, partly because I like it longer, and partly because I only need to go to the beauty salon every six months, as opposed to every six weeks, if one gets the drift.
Louise
I LOVE your perspective Amber! You made so many great suggestions for responding to all the negative comments about my long hair – I will definitely be using some of them!
K
My hair is pretty long, to my butt. I’ve gotten comments pretty much from men, “you’re hair is you’re super hero” (I have no idea what that means?? Please tell me) and “when are you NOT going to cut your hair?” Never has a man told me my hair is pretty other than my husband.
From older ladies and young girls I get the “pretty” comments.
I honestly don’t know how to take most comments. My hair does attract a lot of looks though
Liza
This article made me laugh so hard because it is so relevant and your humor is on point. I recently cut off 2 ft of hair and in all honest short hair is so much more work than my gorgeous long hair ever was! Clearly I have deep regrets with that silly decision.
Geraldine Montoya
I’m surprised to hear all those comments people say to people with long hair. No one has ever said anything rude like that to me.
My problem is I get tired of combing my long hair every day and I don’t like short hair.
I wonder what kind of environment you’re in every day to have people say bad things like that about long hair. To tell someone with long hair you should cut it all off. Wow, that’s a really rude person. Could be jealousy. I keep mine in a braid and bun daily. When I want to show it off I wear it down.
mplo
That’s not surprising. I’ve had people tell me that I should cut my long, very curly hair off and wear an Afro, but I’m not that type of a person. It’s nobody’s business but my own how I wear my hair, and I don’t hesitate to tell them so.
Geraldine Montoya
I just posted a response and don’t see it.
NOYB
I wear mine long to annoy the mother and mother in law π€£π€£πΉ
NOYB
It’s like people feel threatened if they can’t control how u look, wot u do, wot u wear, etc etc. I secretly laugh when I get comments about cutting my hair, in a way it just makes me even more determined to keep it long. I find it seems to b people thinking they can make me a better version of me, well I like the version of me I already am, so if u don’t like me, too bad.