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Forever Amber: UK influncer

6 Things I’ve Never Done

[AD: This post is sponsored by Yelloh! Village]

Y

ou know how there are some things in life that pretty much everyone has done?

I’m taking here about things so commonplace that when someone mentions one of them, everyone else instantly knows what they’re talking about and relates to it? Yeah, I’ve hardly done any of those things.  Here are just a few of the things you’ve probably done, but which I can only imagine…

01.
Gone camping

People are always telling me I should go camping, because I would LOVE camping- it would be SO much fun! And I, in turn, am always telling the people who are always telling me I should go camping that  they’ve obviously mistaken me for someone significantly less high-maintenance than I am, because if I can’t plug in my GHDs, I don’t want to know, basically. ‘Roughing it’ is SO not my idea of fun: so, if I ever DID go camping (And I’m not saying I ever would…), it would definitely have to be glamping rather than camping – with the emphasis firmly on the glam. It would also have to be in some kind of structure other than an actual tent: like one of these little cottages at the Yelloh! Village campsite in St. Tropez, for instance:

Yelloh! Village camping, St Tropez

(Oh, and it would also have to be somewhere like St. Tropez, obviously: somewhere warm and dry, and where the chances of me having to stand shivering in a communal shower block were absolutely non-existent. Did I mention I’m a bit high maintenance?)

Believe it or not, this IS actually a campsite (As well as the cabins, there are also pitches available for tends and caravans), but it’s the kind of campsite where the cabins have their own jacuzzis, and the kitchens come complete with Nespresso machines. So, MY kind of campsite, in other words.

Did I mention that it also has a pool? And a spa? Because, yes, those too:

luxury swimming poolAnd this, of course, is just one of the campsites: Yelloh! Village has a huge network of luxury campsites across Europe, all of which are worlds away from the kind of “damp tent” experience I normally associate with the word “campsite”. Some even have facilities like waterparks and saunas on site, so there’s a firm emphasis on luxury, and the kind of accommodation that even I could get on board with. Probably.

But I was talking about things I’ve never done, so here are some more of them:

02.
Ridden a roller coaster

Or not a proper one, anyway: I don’t think the ‘kiddie coaster’ Terry once persuaded me onto in Florida counts, somehow (I spent the duration of the 2-minute ride screaming that my neck was going to snap, and telling Terry that if I survived, I was going to kill him…), and Big Thunder Mountain probably doesn’t either. Big Thunder Mountain is pretty much my limit when it comes to thrill rides: anything bigger than that and my stomach starts churning just to look at it. I know that if I ever actually went on one (And I can’t even imagine how much you’d have to pay me to do that, seriously), the sheer terror would outweigh any element of “thrill” for me. And I’ll let you into a secret: even Big Thunder Mountain is almost more than I can stand on the “scare” factor…

(I also have regular nightmares about being on Splash Mountain. Which isn’t even a roller coaster…)

03.
Cooked dinner for a large group of people

On TV and on the internet, people are always inviting each other round for a nice, home-cooked dinner. I have never in my life offered to cook dinner for someone: I mean, I’ve had people over for dinner – which I’ve happily ordered in – but cooking for a large group? I’m breaking out in a cold sweat just thinking about it. I’m a terrible person, I know.

04.
Bought a lottery ticket

I THINK I might have bought a scratch card once, for the sheer novelty of it, but the only lottery I’ve ever entered is the U.S. Green Card Lottery, the rules of which used to allow people of Greek parentage (Terry) and their spouses (me) to apply for a Green Card. That loophole closed a few years ago, and my lottery-playing days are over. I dunno, I just think the chances of actually winning it are so slim there’s not much point: and sometimes NOT playing the lottery – but knowing which numbers you’d chose if you did – is just as much of an edge-of-your-seat thrill, you know?

05.
Had a massage

This is another thing people are always telling me I’d absolutely LOVE, but I just… I can’t imagine HOW, really? I mean, I’m awkward enough in new situations, without the added complication of being, a) Naked and b) Expected to lie on my front while a complete stranger manhandles me.  Seriously, I even feel awkward at the hair salon (How do you make smalltalk above the sound of the hairdryer? When is the appropriate time to give a tip, and how do you do it without making it seem like you’re trying to do some kind of dodgy deal in a back alley or something?), and I’m fully dressed then, so, yeah.  I’m sure the actual massage itself would probably be just as good as everyone says it would be, but I’m also sure I’d be dead from the sheer awkwardness of it all before it even got started, so I will never know. As George Ezra once said, what a terrible time to be alive if you’re prone to over-thinking…

06.
Seen all of the movies other people have seen

Hi, I’m Amber, and I’ve never seen Rocky. (Any of them.) (Er, there’s more than one of them, right?) Or The Godfather. Or any movie involving superheroes. Most shockingly (According to everyone I’ve ever met, basically…), until last year, I hadn’t seen a single one of the Disney / PIXAR type movies, like Toy Story, or Finding Nemo or whatever. I’ve now seen Moana and Frozen, and I’m guessing that, as Max gets older, I’m probably going to be seeing all of the rest of them, too, but, until that happens, there remains a huge gap in my movie knowledge, and most cultural references involving them go right over my head.

*

OK, your turn: what totally commonplace things have YOU never done?

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30 Comments
  • Anna Nuttall
    May 23, 2016

    Hi Amber, I’m with you on the whole camping thing, I did camping while at school and it was the worst thing ever. I have on the other hand thought about glamping! That I can imagine would be fun and you also wouldn’t need to sleep rough. xx

  • The Other Emma
    May 23, 2016

    The whole backpacking thing and / or going to Australia for a year when finished school / college. It’s fairly big in Ireland and alot of people bugger off travelling for a bit (admittedly mainly beacuse the job situation is still pretty rubbish here despite what the media would have you think). I just never wanted to go live out of a suitcase / backpack. I am incredibly lazy though so the thought of all that organizing freaks me out but also I’m a real home bird and I hate being away from home.

    • Amber
      May 23, 2016

      I’m exactly the same – I mean, I’d love to travel and see the world, but the idea of backpacking (and particularly of living in hostels, with shared dorms and shared bathrooms) completely freaks me out, as does the idea of being away from home for such a long time. Of course, I struggle to pack for a 2-week holiday, so a really long trip would completely defeat me!

  • Brit
    May 23, 2016

    I very much agree with you concerning your points 1, 2 and 3. I never did these and don’t have plans to do so.

    Unfortunately I had to spent quite a lot of time in different hospitals lately. I’m not going to enjoy it but let’s say I kind of got used to it. And my fear of surgeries is way smaller as it has been before, cause they just saved my life.

  • Sarah
    May 23, 2016

    I’ve never been camping either (but I’m going with friends next month so I guess that won’t be the case for long haha) and I have absolutely no intention of buying a lottery card. But other than that, in my 20 years, I have done everything else on this list haha, which surprised me. Though I’m never going on a big roller coaster again. Ever. But I’ve never been on a plane, or on a hot holiday or been a bridesmaid and plenty of other stuff…

    • Amber
      May 23, 2016

      Ooh, I’ve never been a bridesmaid as an adult – I was a “flower girl” when I was about five or something, but I’m not sure that counts! Being a bridesmaid is one of the things I haven’t done that I actually WOULD like to do, though!

  • Harlow
    May 23, 2016

    I also hope I never have to go camping. I live in Australia and have highly venomous snakes in my back yard as it is – the last thing I want to do is spend several nights in the outdoors with all of the snakes and spiders. And also, camping is dirty and muddy and really uncomfortable…I have never understood the appeal. Unfortunately cooking a meal for a large group of people is something that I have to deal with every Christmas when I get to do a 3 course lunch for a group of 20. I am horrified that it is nearly June because it means Christmas is creeping closer and closer.
    Some things I would never ever do are: piercings, and back packing. I feel really weird about the thought of my flesh being punctured, and I also avoid doing anything that involves pain, no matter how short lived. I also hate the idea of back packing and the people it would involve being around. Out of curiosity one night when my sister and I were on a bar crawl we ventured into a back packers hotel/bar and it was my version of hell. Loud, obnoxious, unwashed people dry humping each other. So revolting! The thought of sleeping in roach infested accommodation and communal showers, toting around a ginormous back pack, not being able to do laundry when you want to…hell….like camping but 100000000000x worse.

  • Emily
    May 23, 2016

    I am the same with rollercoasters, I’ve also only ever been on kids ones and I hated it so no rollercoasters for me.

    Emily // Beauty and Lifestyle Blog

    xx

  • Holly Shannon
    May 23, 2016

    I’ve never had the desire to cook for a massive group of people either. I prefer getting a takeaway! It’s really not my idea of fun 😛 I’ve been camping but I hated it; the ground is too hard, the tent is all wet in the morning and I woke up in the middle of the night unable to breathe because the air was so stuffy!! Bleurgh! xx

  • CiCi Marie
    May 23, 2016

    I’ve gone camping, but if I could turn back the clock I wouldn’t have bothered. NOT for me. I don’t understand why in this day and age of modern technology and central heating, people want to go and sit in a field in the freezing (if you’re in the UK it certainly is) weather. I did my first ever cooking for a large group (well, 7) people for my 30th birthday the other week. What a birthday present to myself that was. You’d think I hated myself. Somehow, it turned out pretty well, but considering in the test run it had been a total disaster I have no idea to this day how. I know that lightning doesn’t strike twice though, so that’s the last dinner party cooking I’m ever doing 😀 Quit while you’re ahead…

  • Steph
    May 23, 2016

    I’ve been camping – which I can stomach, but I wouldn’t say the prospect excites me – but the one thing I’ve never done which everyone keeps telling me I SIMPLY MUST DO because I’ll love it really if I just give it a go, is go to a big festival like Glastonbury. I just don’t like other people enough to want to be near 175000 of them all at once. The thought of it actually brings me out in hives. I can rough it if I really, really have to, but sharing facilities like toilets and showers with that many strangers is just an all out no for me. And once I asked someone how you make sure your things don’t get stolen and they said ‘Oh, you just don’t leave anything valuable in your tent!’ which made me even less likely to ever go, because ALL my things are valuable to me, I don’t want some strange drunk person going in my tent because they forgot which one is theirs and passing out on my sleeping bag – which is what actually happened to a friend of mine! Everyone keeps telling me I’m missing out and I’ll really regret it, and I’m sure the atmosphere is amazing and it’s awesome fun and all of that, but I just don’t think I will ever be persuaded!

  • Ida
    May 23, 2016

    I have been camping twice in my life – I didn’t like it either time. Applicable quote from a friend: “I don’t work all week just to live like I’m homeless on the weekend.”

    I do like roller coasters and lottery tickets, but only in moderation. I loathe cooking in general. Applicable quote from Phyllis Diller: “I cook dinner in three phases – serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.”

  • Sandra
    May 23, 2016

    I would never be able to do this backpacking thing. Living for months with only 1 backpack? No way! I also hate boat trips. My stomach even starts churning when the boat hasn’t left the harbour.

    xx
    Sandra

  • Brenda
    May 24, 2016

    I will never skydive, swim with sharks, heli-ski, back-pack across Europe, or visit New York on black Friday (I did do that once and I will never do it again!) I don’t like camping either. It always rains. So we built a cottage instead! I call it Glamping!

  • Alysa
    May 24, 2016

    I’m with you on camping. I also extend that to staying in a hostel. Honestly, I think it’s something I’m just too old for haha
    The first time I’ve had to stay in a hospital was after my daughter was born, and I HATED it. I wanted to go home IMMEDIATELY. The beds are uncomfortable and it’s just the worst. I hope you don’t have to do that one!!

  • Julia
    May 24, 2016

    Except the roller coaster I did it all. It was fun but I will never again go camping and I hate hospitals. I will love to cook for a large group if everyone will buy me a lottery ticket.

  • Trudy
    May 24, 2016

    I will never go on a rollercoaster, bungy jumping or sky diving. In case you can’t tell, I’m not really into adrenaline thrills, although everyone else seems to get a kick from it! I will also never go diving, not even snorkelling – I have this completely irrational fear of anything underwater. Dark coloured swimming pools are bad enough. What if there are alligators lurking in the corners?

    One thing I tell myself now that I will never do, but might waver on, is dye my hair. I have never dyed it, and have no desire to – but when the grey hairs start coming, I might weaken! But I’m pretty sure I’m safe in saying I will never have plastic surgery (for cosmetic reasons). Nothing against women who do, but I have seen too many botched jobs (and am too afraid of cutting things and needles) to do it myself.

    • Amber
      May 24, 2016

      I’m exactly the same with the “underwater” thing… When we’re on holiday, Terry always wants to try snorkelling or diving or whatever, but I’ve told him he’ll have to do it alone – deep water has always terrified me, and the thought of being under the water makes me feel like I can’t breathe, even just thinking about it. I know I’d panic, and probably end up drowning in the shallows or something! (and, of course, I have a phobia of crustaceans, so that doesn’t help, either!)

  • Porcelina
    May 24, 2016

    I also have a medical phobia, last time I had to go on to a hospital ward to visit a family member I started to pass out and had to go and sit outside with my head between my knees! The feeling wobbly has now progressed to dentists too unfortunately, so if it gets much worse I’ll have to get some therapy… x

  • Andrea Thomas
    May 26, 2016

    Camping.. No way thank you. My fiancée has persuaded me to do some very scary outdoorsy things.. Climb Lochnagar for example..but only on the understanding that he cooks tea and uncorks a bottle of wine whilst I have a lovely warm soak…camping.. No thanks!

  • WhatLouWore365
    May 27, 2016

    I’d never been camping (as an adult – I don’t remember camping when I was 3) until Endure24 in 2013. Twenty-four hour running event so camping on site, team of 5 so running every 4 hours or so… It was a lot of fun and I didn’t get a stitch of sleep. The tents were just used as changing rooms! I did Endure again last year and I did try to sleep, maybe got a few hours but it was a bit cold and damp. Going again in two weeks time, still useless at putting a tent up!

  • Moni
    May 28, 2016

    The last time I went “camping” (which was at a rock festival 2 years ago) I actually slept in my parents’ van. Intentionally. I did not bring a tent. I went there under the one condition that my father would let me borrow his van, and that I would sleep in it.
    When I was a teenager I was a girl scout for 10 years. And the older I became the more I hated camping. I hated the mud, I hated the cold, I hated all the insects and snails. Additionally I started being susceptible to getting bladder infections. So no sleeping on the ground for me, thank you.

    Cooking? I’ll pass, too. I like eating nice meals, but I don’t have the nerve for cooking, let alone several courses for large groups of people. If I didn’t have a partner who likes to cook, I would probably exist on microwave meals…

    Okay, I’ve been in hospitals more often than I would have liked, for various reasons, but interestingly I have never broken anything, yet. I mean, it’s not something you mean to do, but recently I’ve actually noticed a lot of people (mostly children) with an arm or leg in a cast, and I’ve never had one myself. Not that I intend to, but it’s one of those “Most people have done that” things to me… (On a similar note I never had braces.)

  • Kelly Glen
    April 22, 2019

    I’m 40 and I’ve never been on a plane before and I’ve never worn make up in my life which may seem strange to most people but it’s not something that has ever appealed to me.

  • Becca
    April 22, 2019

    With you on the camping and movies – but a massage?! That is a must do experience and once you have one you will never go back to not enjoying them – just don’t do what my auntie did and end up signing up to one by a blind man 😂

  • Myra
    April 22, 2019

    I’ve done the camping, the cooking, the lottery and the massaging many times, but never a roller coaster. I’ve done the snorkelking on the coral reef in Fiji, but I’ve never had a tattoo or done any kind of illegal drugs.

  • Isabel
    April 22, 2019

    I am a pretty awkward person myself, and I have had good and bad massages. The key factor? Whether the person massaging me was feeling chatty or not. All I could think was “please don’t talk to me. but keep touching me… that feels nice” hahaha Camping I feel is one of those things that sounds good in theory, but the moment you see the first bug you realize it was a bad idea.

  • Tasha
    April 22, 2019

    Haha this made me laugh! Everyone I know loves massages, I’ve had 2 and hated them both! The second was in a shared room with my Nan, like some sort of weird couples massage! Stripping down to our pants together was very awkward!! I leave more tense than I started so defeats the whole point!

  • Maria
    April 22, 2019

    The only thing I’ve done of this list is riding a roller coaster, lol.
    Camping is actually one of the worst things I could ever do: sleeping on the hard floor would kill my back, and I’d be in pain for the rest of the day. Also peeing in the woods, where anyone wandering from the camp could see me, nope. If that makes me high maintenance, so be it, I will gladly avoid camping and both parties will be happy!
    Also, I don’t like massages, they’re so embarassing! I’ll admit I was surprised when I heard you never saw a Disney or Pixar movie, but then, I’m the person who never saw Star Wars, Jurassic Park, E.T., Indiana Jones, Mission Impossible, Matrix, Man in black, and many many major mainstream movies. I’m trying to fill my pop culture gaps but it just feels like there are too many famous movies who interest me too little to actually make the effort to watch them XD

    • Maria
      April 22, 2019

      *embarrassing

  • girlsgospel
    May 8, 2019

    Blimey – I’ve done all of these haha! You definitely need to try camping. It’s ace – as long as you have a decent air bed and a warm sleeping bag!

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