Extremes of Emotion
First of all, a huge thank you for all of your lovely comments on yesterday’s blog post: they meant so such to Terry and I, and I hope one day I’ll be able to show them all to little Amber/Terry junior (who will probably just roll his/her eyes and be all, “GOD, mum, I can’t believe you posted a photo of a pee stick on the internet, you’re SO EMBARRASSING!” but then, that’s kids for ya, isn’t it?)
I wish I had similarly happy news to share you with you all today, but just a few hours after I published that post, we got some news which has changed everything for us. I’ve been sitting her for half an hour now trying to work out how to say this, but for once my words have failed me, so I’m just going to blurt it out:
Terry’s mum has cancer.
We’ve actually known this for a couple of weeks now, but had been hoping she’d be able to have surgery which would remove it. Yesterday we were told that’s not the case: that the cancer has spread, and that surgery is out of the question. She’s currently considering chemo to try to slow down its progress, and she is one of the strongest people I know, so I’m hoping that will help if she does decide to go through with it, but… well, I’m sure you can imagine how we’re feeling right now, and how utterly devastated we are. Life can be very, very cruel.
There is obviously much, much more to be said about all of this, but it’s all still very raw right now, and while it would feel wrong to not mention it all, it’s not my story to tell, and, try as I might, I just don’t seem to be able to find the words to do it all justice anyway, so I’m just going to leave it at that for now.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been keeping a little diary of my pregnancy so far, and I’ve also written a few other pieces which I’ll be publishing as planned, purely because trying to keep things as normal as possible is one of the things I find comforts me most at times like this. If I’m slow in responding to comments and emails, or otherwise not myself, though, I know you’ll understand why – thanks once again for always being there for us both, through the good times and the bad.