Bettie Page nautical wiggle dress with red high heels

Flying By Numbers

Bettie Page Captain dressBettie Page nautical wiggle dress with red high heelsredhead in nautical style dress
W ell, folks, I’m back.

And rather than get straight into the OMGDEPRESSION I feel at being back, I’m just going to go right back to the start of my trip, and systematically bore you with all of my stories and photos. Then, when I get to the end, I might just do it all over again, and in this way I will relive my holiday over and over again, right up until the next one. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I’m starting off with the the trip from London Heathrow to San Francisco, during which I managed to clock up the following Random Acts of Stupidity:

# of times I left my “baggie” full of liquids at security and had to run back for it, with just minutes to spare before our flight – 1

# of times something leaked inside said “baggie”, soaking the contents of my handbag – 2

# of times I threw my Kindle across the aisle of the aircraft and almost into the lap of the gentleman sitting across the aisle from me – 3

# of drinks spilled over Terry’s crotch – 1

# of times I caught my watch strap on my bag, causing it to drop off my wrist – 3

# of times this happened before even leaving Edinburgh – 3

# of times Lady Gaga disrupted the entire cabin, courtesy of an alarm on my phone which I’d forgotten to disable – 2

# of contact lenses lost during the flight – # 1 (subsequently found stuck to my knee, a dried-up husk of a thing. The contact lens, I mean. Not my knee.)

# of times I lost my Liz Earle Superbalm during the flight – about 27, culminating in it being lost for good just before we landed.

# of times I complained about this – 92

And finally, having reached San Francisco, the # of times I failed to heed the warning presented by this notice in the entrance to our hotel bathroom, and almost fell flat on my face?

About 1,473.

In contrast, the flight back from LAX yesterday was pretty uneventful, save for two things:

1. The aircon unit that started leaking onto my head halfway across the Atlantic. Trust me, when you’re a nervous flyer, the very last thing you want as you sit there trying to get some sleep on the plane is to feel a steady drip, drip on your head, and to think, “Oh, it must be raining outside… wait… CRAP!”

2. The fact that I almost caused my family to miss our connection at Heathrow, due to the Kurt Geiger shoe sale in Terminal 5. Sorry, family. (It was a REALLY good sale, though…)

I do, of course, have many (many, many…) more stories and photos to share, but I also have laundry to do, sleep to catch up with, and a lot of whining about being back home to get through, so for now I’m just going to leave you with these random photos of my new Bettie Page Captain dress, purchased in San Francisco, and the Hollywood sign, neither of which have anything to do with this post at all. Enjoy!

The best place in LA to see the Hollywood sign

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books by Amber Eve
  • Haha great post, I love LA and San Fran! And your dress is to die for. Looking forward to the next instalment 😉

    June 24, 2011
  • So glad I’m alone in the office so I could LOL at the Kindle-flinging…! How on earth did you manage to do that once, nevermind 3 times?!

    June 24, 2011
  • Also: gorgeous dress!

    June 24, 2011
  • Your holiday stories are always so funny 🙂 and I just LOVE your dress. and shoes. and sunglasses 🙂

    June 24, 2011
  • Sandy


    I’m sorry that you’re sad at being back but I’m super keen to hear all about your holiday! (Trying to think of ways to word that without sounding creepy and stalkerish….not working!)

    June 24, 2011
  • Awesome dress!

    I have a chronic fear of losing various items in the seatback pocket, so I always check and count compulsively – “travel mug…lip balm…cell phone…iPod…book…knitting”, then repeat every 10 minutes for the duration of the flight.

    I guess it works, because I’ve not yet been unfortunate enough to lose anything midair.

    June 24, 2011
  • Jen


    Welcome home, and sorry you’re sad to be back. If it helps any, I live in California and I’ve always dreamed of travelling to Scotland, which I’ll never in a million years be able to afford , so… hmm. Now I’m sad. Well THAT didn’t work.

    June 24, 2011
  • I’m in love with your dress.

    June 24, 2011
  • Stacey


    On my last flight a chunk of ice hit me on top of my head while we were flying. I didn’t think much of it, just figured someone somehow lost control of the ice in their drink and it managed to land on me. After it happened a second and third time I looked up just in time to get hit in the face and also see the guy in front of me get hit on top of his head. Just as I was getting ready to hit the call button, I heard a little ‘pop’ up where the ice was coming from. I hit the button and the attendant came over and asked what was wrong. I told her about the ice chunks on my head, even as another one hit me on the head. The attendant wasn’t worried in the least, “Oh, that happens quite a lot, our air conditioning just gets frozen over.”

    I’m not usually a nervous flyer, but I had woken up sick with a bad head cold that morning, so every turn the plane made made me dizzy, so I just wanted to sleep. But no, for the whole 5 hour flight I got beaned in the head by ice.

    Anyway, glad you’re back and had a good trip!

    June 24, 2011
  • Good to hear you didn’t fall out of the sky! I probably would have freaked if the aircon thing happened to me, I’m such a nervous flyer!!
    On to better things, your dress is fabulous! You are one of the few women who can pull off that length without relocating to Stumpy Town. Beautiful 🙂

    June 24, 2011
    • Thanks! It’s actually one of my favourite lengths – I always feel like I can get away with much higher/more extravagant heels when I wear a longer hemline. And these things are important, of course 🙂

      June 25, 2011
  • This dress is amazing and it looks great on you!
    Loved all the photos!

    June 25, 2011
  • Panthera


    Post-vacation depression is hard, but I don’t mind reading about your vacation and looking at pretty pictures, so feel free to relive everything through your blogs ;oP

    This year my summer seems to consist of; visiting different parts of the family and stay long enough to have visited for more than a few days, and short enough to be able to get back and visit someone else. I’m fond of my family, but it is stressful to have to visit my grandmother, parents-in-law and my parents in one month..

    June 25, 2011
  • Yay! Amber is back and back to her usual hilarious self. The silhouette photo is exquisite, Terry.

    All I can say is thank goodness for disposable contact lenses. One day I shall tell you about the time that I tried to disinfect my contact lenses in my friend’s microwave over. The former was vaporised and the glass shattered in the latter.

    Who thought it was a good idea to put a step up to a bathroom? Grr.

    June 25, 2011
  • Welcome home Amber!

    # of dresses I am absolutely in love with in this post: 1

    # of times I read one of the things you did on the plane and nodded in remembrance of my own idiocies: 3

    # of times I choked on orange juice from imagining you frantically trying to locate the source of the Lady Gaga alarm: 1

    # of times Lady Gaga got stuck in my head (different songs): 2

    Good to have you back 🙂

    June 26, 2011
  • You both soooooo belong in Hollywood!!! 😛 adore that dress by the way, you are looking stunning in it, and those zara shoes, are they as comfy as they look?
    Glad to hear you had a fun time, even before arriving at your destination… 🙂 I lose so many things whilst travelling, as hard as I try, it always ends up being a chaotic chain of events in which I normally get hurt, throw something over my man or my dog, or myself, almost lose my passport like a billion times and lose my nerves more times that it should be legally allowed xxxx

    June 27, 2011
  • LOVE this dress. More and more I am gravitating towards the classic feminine dresses of years ago and this one is perfect. It is so adorably feminine and lovely on you. – Katy

    May 8, 2012
  • What an incredible dress!

    May 8, 2012
  • The dress is perfect for the EBEW event. Hope you recover from your travels soon.

    May 9, 2012
  • I’m so glad I’m not the only one that owns a sailor dress like this. Unfortunately, New York is damp and rainy so I definitely won’t be posting a photo of myself wearing it for Everybody, Everywear. Nice work.

    Desiree, Pop-o-matic Deluxe

    May 9, 2012
  • Hi Amber! Found you via EBEW. Adoring this dress, and envious of your prop! How cool that you get to pose in front of the Hollywood sign! May I come visit sometime, and borrow your prop? Love the overall look!

    Regards, Whitley Adkins Hamlin

    May 9, 2012
  • What a fabulous dress! So nice and vintage-y.

    May 11, 2012
  • OMIGOSH this dress is AMAZING!!! And I never would’ve thought to pair cat eye sunnies with it, but it works so perfectly. So glad I found your blog through EBEW.

    May 16, 2012
  • Love your nautical look. Nautical is one of my favourite trends ever. This is also one of the most stunning outfits I have ever seen. The dress is striking and beautiful.

    May 17, 2012
  • Love your outfit! So nautical indeed, eh. And chic too. 🙂

    June 4, 2012