Great Expectations

On May 3rd, right in the middle of our kitchen remodel, and at the exact point when the house most resembled a building site, this happened:

I PEED ON A STICK AND THEN I TOOK A PHOTO OF IT AND PUT IT ON THE INTERNET, OH GOD, WHO EVEN AM I?!

Now, although this wasn’t entirely unexpected (I mean, I DO know how these things work, obviously. Also, I had a feeling. Yes.), finding out you’re pregnant after an ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage – or, in my case, both – is a very different thing from just finding out you’re pregnant in “normal” circumstances, and, because of my relatively high risk of having another ectopic, plus my overly-generous dose of health anxiety, what should technically have been a really happy and exciting time, was actually pretty scary and stressful all round – and I’m not just taking about all the vomiting, either.

Happily, though, four ultrasounds, multiple blood tests and a whole lot of nausea (OMG you guys, the NAUSEA. PRAY FOR ME.) later, I’m very, very relieved to say that I’m now safely past the 12 week mark, and headed for the second trimester – and since the opening of this post pretty much set the tone for over-sharing, and I’m guessing some of you are probably thinking, “The pee stick is all well and good, but it would be great to see a photo of Amber’s uterus round about now,” here you go, your wish has been granted:

(There is just one baby, not four. I did have a couple of very panicked days where my HGC was so high we thought it might be twins, and that I’d have to give up my dressing room or something equally horrendous, but nope, just the one in there!)

So! Needless to say, I have a lot to tell you all (Like a LOT-lot. Seriously, brace yourselves, folks…), and keeping this secret has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done (Well, other than that time I got stuck inside a top in the ZARA changing room, and thought I was going to have to go out into the store with both arms pinned above my head, and my face covered in fabric. That was also pretty tough, really.), but for now I just wanted to let you all in on the “secret” and explain why I’ve been a bit MIA lately, both here and on Instagram, etc.

Now, here’s to the next 6 months!