Not a responsible adult

14 Things That Tell Me I Am Not A Real Grown Up

About five years ago, almost all of my friends decided to start having children, pretty much simultaneously, and this came as a huge surprise to me, because WHOA, isn’t that, like, something only GROWN UPS should be doing?

And we, of course, were not grown-ups: or, at least, I wasn’t. My friends obviously were, and Terry seemed to be too, because he was always worrying about the national debt, and suggesting that we buy some plants for that corner of the garden “we’d” been wondering what to do with. (My suggestion of building a second dressing room was rejected, surprisingly enough…)

Me, on the other hand? I am still very much a child. I’ve been waiting my whole life to start feeling like a “grown up”, but it hasn’t happened yet, and the fact that I now have a child of my own hasn’t done anything at all to change that: in fact, sometimes when I’m out with Max somewhere, I’ll be half expecting someone to come up and challenge me, demanding to know where I got the baby, and why there isn’t a responsible adult in charge of us both. Then it hits me that, oh yeah, I’M the responsible adult now, apparently. So why don’t I feel like one?

This isn’t a new thing, of course. Actually, I’ve always lagged behind in the whole “being a grown-up” thing. Even as a little girl, I didn’t really see the attraction in it. My friends would be all, “I’m NOT six, I’m six AND SEVEN EIGHTHS, thankyouverymuch, which means I’m ALMOST SEVEN, which is totally close to being EIGHT!” and meanwhile I’d just be like, “Yeah, six is fine by me, thanks. Five-and-Thirteen-Months would be better, though.”

Why was everyone in such a hurry to be a grown up? I mean, sure, when you were a grown up, you got to eat whatever you wanted (So, salt and vinegar crisps for breakfast, lunch and dinner, then…), but it wasn’t like you got to DO whatever you wanted. In fact, all of the grown-ups I knew had jobs, which seemed really boring, and basically like school, but without the long holidays, and where was the fun in that? Also, grown-ups had to watch the news rather than cartoons, and people gave them CLOTHES for Christmas. CLOTHES. Can you even IMAGINE anything more boring? (Yeah, yeah, all the lols…)

I DID manage to go through most of the big life stages at roughly the same time as everyone else, but I did them in a not-remotely serious way. Like, I went to university, but I studied English Literature: not because I thought it would help me find a career (I couldn’t even imagine having a “career”, and, to be completely honest, I didn’t really bother trying, because surely “careers” were for grown-ups, and, ooh, is that a bag of Haribo mix over there? BRB…), but because I figured it would just be like reading books all the time, and would basically allow me to delay adulthood for another four years.

I bought a house, but if I hadn’t had Terry to keep me on the straight and narrow, I’d probably have been tempted to keep living with my parents, and buy a Porsche and a ton of designer shoes, instead. I got married, and the only thing I really cared about was having exactly the right playlist for the party afterwards. (Well, bad music ruins everything, doesn’t it?)

Which brings me to the present: a time when, even with a child of my own, I’m still constantly wondering when I’m going to start feeling like a grown-up?

Here are some other, totally random, things that make me think I am totally not a grown-up:

Not a responsible adult


I never have any money. Or not ON me, at least: because I’m a bit like the queen in this respect – I never carry cash. Unlike the queen, meanwhile, that’s often because I don’t actually HAVE any cash, and am just counting down to payday, so I can hand over my entire salary to ASOS again, and then try to convince Terry that it would be totally fine to just live on toast all month. In my defence, I AM doing my best to break this habit because I’m very, very aware of how incredibly stupid it is, but I’ve been bad with money my entire life, and the only reason I’m not in the debtor’s jail right now is because Terry is my polar opposite, and has managed to keep me on the straight-and-narrow. Well, that and the fact that I don’t think the debtor’s jail exists any more, does it? I mean, we’re not living in Dickens’ London, are we?

Anyway. Last month I started using Plum to track my spending (This isn’t a sponsored post, btw, but that IS an affiliate link, so if you secretly hate me and don’t want me to get a commission, you’re going to want to avoid clicking it…), and I’m very much hoping that doing this will help me feel more like a responsible adult, who is good at The Adulting.

On the other hand, last week I hid in the bedroom just to avoid the window cleaner, because I don’t keep cash in the house, and he doesn’t accept debit cards. (Hey, maybe we ARE living in Dickens’ London, because, I mean, who doesn’t accept debit cards?) So, you know, MAYBE NOT.


When parents tell their children to “watch out for that lady!” I always look over my shoulder to see who the “lady” is, and then am totally shocked to discover the lady is ME, and want to go, “I AM NO LADY, YOUNG MAN!” Which would just be straight-up weird, really, wouldn’t it?


I have to get my mum round to clean some of the mirrors in my house, because I’m totally incapable of doing it myself. (See also: things you can probably do that I can’t.)


I am shocked to my core when people tell me they WERE going to go on holiday this year, but they decided to have the driveway monoblocked instead. SHOCKED. TO. MY. CORE.


I have never hosted a dinner party, and have absolutely no desire to. I do have a large collection of take-out menus, though: enjoy!


I still feel nervous when I see groups of teenagers or pre-teens coming towards me, because I think they’re going to make fun of my hair/outfit/face/whatever. It has yet to sink in that kids that age see me as ANCIENT (A “lady”!), and therefore invisible/irrelevant.


When I walk into a bar, I panic in case I don’t have my ID on me. I haven’t been asked to show ID since… actually, let’s just move onto the next point…


It still feels funny to me when my nephews and niece call me “Auntie Amber”. Because an “auntie” is a grown-up person, and I am not a… oh.


Almost every day I see a dress, or a pair of shoes or something on the internet, and I’m instantly all, “OMG, SHOOZ! I MUST HAVE THE SHOOZ! GIMME THE SHOOZ!” Surely adults don’t do this? I don’t remember my parents or their friends ever doing stuff like this?


Haribo mix. Give me it.


A lot of my favourite TV shows revolve around the goings-on of a group of high school students. I relate to these people. These people would laugh their asses off at the very idea that they might have ANYTHING in common with someone older than, like 20.


Sometimes I catch myself thinking, “What if I don’t have dinner tonight, and have an entire chocolate cake instead?”


Sometimes my friends will be telling me about something their child did, and I’ll be all, “Oh yeah, I do that too!” And I do.

Basically, in my mind, I’m still 13 years old, and I feel like I always will be. Does everyone secretly feel like this, I wonder? Not like they’re 13, specifically, but like they’re… well, making it all up as they go along, really? Because I can clearly remember being a child, or a teenager even, looking at people the age I am now and thinking they had everything sussed: they were just so GROWN UP and self-assured, and meanwhile here am I, feeling no different at all.

Seriously: IS it just me?

(Er, going to be pretty awkward if it IS, huh?)

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  • AnnMarie


    Love the mustard colour shoes with the bow. Gorgeous.

    June 10, 2015
    • I nodded and laughed all the way through this post. Could not relate more! I turn 26 tomorrow and a lot of my friends are getting married and having babies. Meanwhile I am very much making everything up as I go along and only have two cats to be responsible for. I often feel like when the day comes that I get married, I want to feel like a ‘woman’. Surely I am already a woman now?! In my head I’m not! I still feel like a teenager! When my mum was the age I am now, I was already 3 years old. Can I imagine myself looking after a 3 year old human right now? No way! I can barely look after myself and my 3 year old cat! xx

      June 10, 2015
      • I just had to double-check the date on this post Ayden… funny how things change! x

        August 1, 2018
  • Seriousy, this is like my life (except for the Haribo and the chocolate cake, I’m more of a savory snacker). I do have the house, and the carreer, and the mortgage and the bills and blablabla, but I’m certainly not at the same stage as most of my friends. In my head, 31 is basically the new 21, or maybe the new 17. 🙂

    June 10, 2015
  • Love this! #itsnotjustme

    June 10, 2015
  • Jayne


    At least you have a husband and are buying your own home. I’m 42, single, childfree, and still renting. I haven’t even owned a car. Not that l’m not happy with my lot.

    June 10, 2015
    • Im 36, single, childless (by choice) and house-share a rental with my mother lol

      June 10, 2015
  • Um, yes to most of these, (and I’m older than you!)…ack. I always gets so nervous around mobs of teens (we don’t have mobs of teens in America, the herd is thinned out at malls and driving around and whatnot. The U.K. needs to work on this!). Fifty teenagers coming at me makes me pull my hood up and cross the street! I find the Auntie thing weird too, it’s never felt natural. Why can’t they just call me by my first name? There is belt tightening in my house right now and the husband dared to mention our annual Florida holiday not happening and my (internal) instinct was to drop to the floor and throw a screaming hissy fit (but I’m a grown up, I will bide my time and if he mentions it again I will simply hop on the first plane to my Mom’s house in Florida all by myself because I’m a grown up with a passport and everything so I can do what I want!) 😉 Anyway I can relate! And my friends who are Mum’s…I mean, I’m not part of the club, but I’ve had plenty of conversations with them where they’re still the same person I know inside, but the exterior day to day of being a Mum of course forces you to be a grown up in ways I can only imagine. I honestly don’t know how they do it.

    June 10, 2015
  • Rachel


    In my head I’m 16 or 21 depending on the day. I feel a lot older lately because there’s a new girl in my office who is 19. I used to hate it when my mum would give another adult the “oh bless she thinks she knows what she’s talking about look” (it still happens though but I think that’s because it’s my parents and I’m still their child) but I’ve found myself doing it when she says some things, well all things really 🙂 She makes me feel like an adult. However most of the time I feel too young, too young to have kids, not that I want any anyway. When my little brother had one it was so weird and he was 28!! When my best friend talks about kids it weirds me out too. I’m only just getting over the actual teenagers not noticing me but I think they do anyway, I still wait for the “freak!” but it never comes haha.

    June 10, 2015
  • I promise you it definitely isn’t just you – this post completely sums up how I’m feeling at the moment. It’s my 30th birthday this year and I just can’t seem to get my head around that concept at all. It doesn’t feel like it should be possible! In my head I’m hovering somewhere around the 20-22 mark and I’m very OK with that. The thought that I might have to actually ‘grow up’ and do certain things because it’s what I SHOULD do terrifies me. And don’t even get me started on how I feel because my friends have started having children…

    June 10, 2015
  • The Other Emma


    This is me, I’ve often just thought “Crisp sandwich for dinner, why yes that is an acceptable evening meal!!”

    I have a little boy and often feel like someone is going to come along and say thanks very much for taking such good care of him but it’s time he went back to the grown-ups now.

    And in my head, I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up (I’m 33 this year). I’m totally winging it every day, everything is made up as I go along.

    I remember adults being really adult-like when I was small, they didn’t seem to have the wobbles about being a grown-up that I have, I can’t imagine my Mam not having a real dinner in the evening and instead having a selection of haribo, crisps & chocolate with tea and classing it as a win because there is minimal clean up afterwards.

    I thought once we bought our house I would feel grown-up but no, even with mopping floors and making dinners on a (kinda) regular basis, I still feel like I’m playing at being a grown-up.

    June 10, 2015
  • Betty Sky


    Sorry Amber, but how old are you?

    I feel childish sometimes, but in a different way.

    I’m 21, but I’ve heard all my life that I acted like an older, responsible person. I take everything I do seriously and people take me seriously, I have no problems in school or work, I’ve already lived out of my mom’s house for 3 years and was fully in duty for a house I shared with a bf BUT I keep wondering if there will be a magical day when I’ll wake up and suddenly:

    -I’ll remeber about take off my contacts before sleep.
    -I’ll be able to follow a routine. I can’t even do a skincare routine because I’d rather spend my time reading a blog about a girls who posts pics of her shoes!
    -I’ll host a dinner. This sounds CRAZY to me. I can picture myself raising a kid but hosting a dinner sounds totally adultish lol
    -I’ll be the responsible for taking care of family. Currently my mom dedicates her whole free time to the family (specially the elderly). Everyone rely on her. This sounds terrifying.
    -I’ll stop following astrology blogs
    -I’ll stop being ridiculously addicted to Game of Thrones. People are telling I’m getting annoying because that’s all I can talk about. I cried the last episode seeing a girl wearing a wig flying on a dragon, a thing that doesn’t exist.
    -I’ll stop playing The Sims 2. I’m working on building a village made of elves. You gotta make everyone become a plant sim to that happen.

    June 10, 2015
  • I’ll let you in on a secret: I am 43, my oldest child is rapidly approaching 20, and I still don’t feel like a responsible adult. And I’m really bloody happy this way too! 😀

    June 10, 2015
  • Liz Tea Bee


    My mother says the key to adulthood is to realize that everyone is faking it. Everyone is afraid that someone will figure out that they’re the same person they were when they were 18 and therefore not qualified for all this adulthood nonsense.

    I do #3 and one the babies is mine. That’s so weird. I’m still astonished they just let me leave the hospital with him. It didn’t seem proper. Shouldn’t you have to demonstrate some qualifications before they just let you leave with a tiny human being?

    #8. Oh lord. I did this. We were going to visit my cousin in London but doing a 7.5 hour flight with a toddler seemed like a punishment, not a vacation. So we’re getting the driveway repaved this year and just doing a little weekend trip. Next year, we’ll leave my son with my in-laws and fly to London on our own.

    On #12, my sister is much older than me and I became an aunt when I was 17. I am used to being an aunt but my sister’s children just call me by my first name. My husband’s nieces and nephews call me “Aunt Liz” but they’re form a different part of the US and they pronounce it like I”d say “ant.” It sounds like they are calling me an insect lady.

    June 10, 2015
  • Having a baby allows me to be childish and immature all over again, except this time I have an excuse !

    June 10, 2015
  • Erin


    I’m thirty-three, and yes, all of this – except replace sweets with chips (I think the British call them crisps?). I pay all of my bills but other than that, I can’t believe people have let me out into the great big adult world. Sometimes I have a glass of champagne at one in the afternoon, just because I freaking CAN! No one to tell me not to. I still get a rush after almost nine years of being with my husband that I’m allowed to sleep in the same bed as him, in the same house as him, and we can do whatever we want. I constantly feel like I’m playing house. Is that strange? My mom has told me that she always feels like she’s not a grown-up yet and she’s heading towards seventy, so maybe it’s hereditary.

    June 10, 2015
  • I have a child and I still feel like this. For instance, we should be leaving to get him to preschool in 10 minutes and he’s still asleep and I’m in my pajamas commenting on blogs. I wonder if this had to do with us being only children and having parents who still “take care of us.” I always relate to how often you go round your parents and that your mom and dad are always helping with something and going on vacation with you. My mom cleans my stove top instead of my mirrors.

    So, you’re not alone. And I used to have pretty serious existential crisis about having to grow up when I was in that child-to-tween stage. I didn’t want to grow up and date and wear makeup.

    June 10, 2015
  • Fiona


    It’s not just you! I am older than you with kids as well as the house, garden, car, blah blah and I tell you, without Google I would not be keeping up appearances as a functioning adult. I am not even kidding about that. The internet came along at just the right time for me, and forums/blogs etc even more so. Thank you to all those dedicated people out there who demystify things like car maintenance and bathroom cleaning. You didn’t HAVE to video the bleaching of your bath sealant but I am honestly glad you did.

    Many people are faking being grown up, though I don’t think all. Some people seem to always have that inner sense of ‘well this is just how you do things’ and the confidence to get on and do it. Whereas I’ve always had a sense of ‘there seem to be MANY ways to do things, and I’m sure I’m doing it wrong?!’ Although for me getting older has helped with that – I no longer care!

    P.S my first experience of ‘the lady’ was as a Saturday shop-girl. ‘Give the lady the money’. Now that was too young surely?

    June 10, 2015
  • All. Of. This!

    I still remember the first time a mum said “Watch out for this lady” and it felt like my life was over! I’m not a lady, dammit, I still go to bed with THREE cuddly toys!

    June 10, 2015
  • Selina


    Almost everyone I know is streets ahead of me in many respects and I just will never feel grown up enough to take on some of the mundane responsibilities of an adult. I can’t believe people my age are looking at pensions and getting married and everything while I have yet to do many things everyone else has done 10 years ago

    June 10, 2015
  • YESSS!! I am 36 going on 16, honestly, I get so mad with my mom when she treats me like I’m still a teenager and then I remember that I still behave like a teenager sometimes so it’s no wonder…

    I am not cool with adulting.

    June 10, 2015
  • You’re clearly not the only one. I have a child too, and he’s getting at that stage where all he wants to do is bicker and I hear myself saying all the things my mother did, but I still can’t help saying them in the tone I used to use when I’d snip the same thinks at my siblings to tease them.

    I used to feel older because I had a child young but now I feel like I stopped aging right then and I’m always a bit shocked when I look in the mirror.

    Fashion and Happy Things

    June 10, 2015
  • TinaD


    I’m still the same worried 12 year old I was at 12, I just have a bigger vocabulary and know how to fill out complex forms. I think our parents (or maybe moreso our grandparents, depending on how hippie your parents got) had a vested interest in looking like they had it all together in very unstable times. (To avoid the twitching net curtains down the street sort of thing.) We, instead, tend to Instagram our epic fails for the laugh. #1, incidentally, doesn’t seem to change regardless of age or level of responsibility–I never have money because I have kids and the world has Coke–it isn’t a cash culture anymore. Your window washer needs to get with the century and buy a card reader for his iPhone.

    June 10, 2015
  • Sue


    Being an adult is so overrated. I tried it once, it was the worst 5 minutes of my life, it seemed to last for 30yrs, oh my gosh, it did. What a waste of time that was. Seriously, don’t bother, life was meant to be fun, enjoy it.

    June 10, 2015
  • Omgosh, so much yes! I’m 33 and a few of my high school friends have children that will be starting HIGH SCHOOL SOON. I have zero kids and feel like I’m not old enough to take care of one. I mean, i eat candy for breakfast too many times to be considered rocking the adult choices.

    June 10, 2015
  • I think I will refer to myself as a ‘girl’ as opposed to a ‘woman’ until I’m approximately… well… There just surely is no way I can be a woman yet, right? Right?! Surely I’d know if that had happened!

    June 10, 2015
  • I may have a baby but I relate to ALL of these. Except the mirror cleaning one – somebody recommended eCloths to me recently and they are AMAZING. Suddenly I have sparkly, streak-free mirrors (and I’ve actually been wondering whether to message you and tell you about them but OMG THAT WOULD MAKE ME A GROWN UP). Anyway, they’re available on Amazon.

    June 10, 2015
  • Annabel


    This did make me giggle…and there is nothing wrong with a garden centre coffee 😉

    Annabel ♥
    Mascara & Maltesers

    June 10, 2015
  • YES to a lot of these but especially yes to the one about seeing kids and expecting them to comment/judge you. I always have to catch myself and be like “you’re basically invisible to them”. It’s kind of sad!

    June 11, 2015
    • Totally screwed up my name, email & website info there, sorry!

      June 11, 2015
  • Yes to it all!!! When all my friends were in a rush to graduate high school, I was so confused. “Our parents pay for everything now. Cute dresses can’t be bought with broke college kid tuition funds.” Now I’m an elementary teacher and I’m squealing about what they are wearing and asking, “Now WHERE did you get that Hello Kitty tote bag? No, I’m serious. Where?” Sometimes we are both wearing cupcake dresses which ya know, they think is hilarious. I’m not sure what my student’s parents think though…
    I will disagree about one thing though. You are NEVER to old to drool over shoes. My mom is 56 years old and gets just as excited about shoes all the time (I actually sent her some pics of yours shoes to her – right up her alley!) In fact, this happens so often that my dog, Pepper comes running (she loves girl-talk) when she hears the word “shoes.” No lie.
    Obviously, I’m biased but I think the best folks are young souls. Make fashion keeps us young! 😛
    xoxo, Lindsey Dish

    June 11, 2015
  • Loved this post so much! I’m alllmosssst 30 (two weeks away, ugh) and I can relate to some points you mention… and it’s very reassuring to see that so many others can, too! Whew, I thought I was the only person in the world who denied aduldhood to enter her life (no, seriously).
    I also keep imagining that my boyfriend and I will still make silly faces in the mirror and play air guitar and scream to Judas Priest in 20 or 30 or 40 years. I’ve never seen an adult do that stuff. Grown ups are calm and boring and control their emotions and they never ever make faces or pull stunts. But we will! Because we’re not grown ups.

    June 11, 2015
  • Amber


    Hi, Amber! I totally feel this way and I think that I am older than you! I have never had the desire to have children, as I feel that I am still one myself. When I am out in public and someone calls me ma’am, I am confused. So glad to hear that I am not alone…. Thanks for posting this!

    June 11, 2015
  • That is exactly why I went to University!!! To read, read more and then read some more!
    And yes, I ticked yes to so many items on your list, although my friends seems as resistant to the reproducing thing as I am so we remain non-grownups together. (Also those gingham shoes are everything I need right now.)

    June 11, 2015
  • Lily


    Number 10 is something I get all the damn time.

    In my mind I am still 19, and therefore still capable of doing all of the things I was capable of ten years ago. It never fails to amaze me when my body and mind remind me that no, I am not as young and spry as I was and no longer have access to the seemingly boundless energy that comes with (and is taken for granted by) youth.

    June 11, 2015
  • Jenny


    I’m 47, but feel closer to 25 than 50. It’s a struggle, feeling younger than you are/not wanting to grow up, but having the pressure to be a responsible adult. I have a 26 year old kid, but I still don’t quite feel grown up. It makes me wonder if my 93 year old grandmother feels the same way? Are there actually people that like being/getting old? They must not have much fun…

    June 11, 2015
  • Moni


    Oh yes, me, too!
    I’m still waiting for the day when I feel the need to buy a house or insurances or whatever grown-up people do. Actually the main reason for not having children is that I just don’t feel responsible enough to take care of them. (And I’m 41 now, so I guess that day will never come – not that I’m sad about it…) I still love to get immersed in my favourite TV shows, films, books, … like I did when I was a teenager.
    Okay, I don’t live with my parents anymore, I am in a long-term live-together relationship, and I have a steady job, but I mainly see these as beneficial in terms of “Yay, nobody can tell me when to be home, to get my head out of the clouds, and on what to spend the money I earn – oh, wow, new Star Wars/Minions/Firefly merchandise!”
    By the way: I remember that on my uncle’s 60th birthday (I was 26 then) I gravitated more towards the present children (6-10), thinking “That’s the crowd where I belong” than toward all the adults (including my cousins who are only a few years older than me). Is that weird?
    And in a way it still hasn’t changed much…

    June 11, 2015
  • asheslaree


    Ha I love it! I’m the girl that watches kids tv shows, plays disney princess at birthday parties and has a collection of dolls and toys. I mean I have a real job, my husband and I just bought a house but I’m going to a waterpark in a day…I mean I have some adult traits…but I’m still a kid at heart, and isn’t that better than anything else.

    June 12, 2015
  • These are hilarious, it’s not just you! Number 4 I can definitely relate to!

    June 12, 2015
  • Irene


    I can relate SO much to this. I’ll be turning 26 this year and though I’m married and sort of “settled down”, I still feel so much like I’m a confused teenager suddenly living an adult life. It makes me panic sometimes, actually, because I feel like time is going by way too fast.
    “I still feel nervous when I see groups of teenagers or pre-teens coming towards me, because I think they’re going to make fun of my hair/outfit/face/whatever. It has yet to sink in that kids that age see me as ANCIENT (A “lady”!), and therefore invisible/irrelevant.” I”m so glad I’m not the only one like that!!!

    June 13, 2015
  • Number 10 – As a teen, I love your sense of style. If you were to walk me by the mall I would definitely admire your outfit <3 P.S. You are by no means ancient!
    Number 16 – I totally agree with you, I think that dessert (aka gelato) is a perfectly reasonable substitute for dinner.

    June 14, 2015
  • It is absolutely not just you. I read this whole thing going “Yep, yep, yep, yep.”

    I don’t feel like an adult at all. In my head I’m still 14 years old, and I’m feeling really old at the moment as I’m discovering so many of the albums I love are now 10 years old.

    I’m definitely scared of “youths”, if something breaks I have no idea how to fix it, I still ask my Mum far too many questions I should know the answer to, and I’m quite happy living at home still.

    June 14, 2015
  • Ha! Three children later and I still wonder what I’m going to be “when I grow up”. I keep clinging to the hope that “fake it ’till you make it” will one day bring me to the point where I can actually make it through the week without ordering takeout because I didn’t do the grocery shopping/feel like cooking dinner/forgot to cook dinner/kitchen was too messy to cook dinner…. 😛

    bonita of Lavender & Twill

    June 15, 2015
  • Saw a meme recently:
    “I’m at that awkward stage where half of my friend are getting married and having children, and the other half are too drunk to find their phones.”
    And that sums it up. Some of my friends are parents with mortgages, me, I just bought Charlotte Olympia and Delpozo shoes in the Net-A-Porter sale and painted my toenails in multi-colour glitter last night rather than clean the dirty mirror in my bedroom.

    June 16, 2015
  • Totally relate to this post, I’m always bragging to people around me when I do something “like a real proper grown up” and completely overlooking that I’m definitely classified as an adult. I make this comment so much that my blog is called “The Real Proper Grown-Up Project”. (I’m just mentioning it because it seems very relevant, I hope that doesn’t seem like one of those annoying ploys to beg people to “check out my blog”, no one needs to do that).
    I especially relate to the point about being anxious about gangs of youths – I will cross the street and walk a block out of my way to avoid packs of teenagers I’m so sure they will judge me, when actually they won’t even notice me.
    Just in case it makes you feel better, I couldn’t be bothered cooking dinner tonight, or doing the dishes needed to be able to boil some pasta, so I read this post while eating two carrots and an ice cream instead.

    June 17, 2015
  • I LOVED this! Could not agree more. Completley relate to all of this. In fact i wrote a blog post quite similar here… although not nearly as funny and eloquent.
    LOVE your blog, such a huge fan. x

    July 6, 2015
  • I loved your post and laughed about the shoe quote- I love Michael McIntyre!
    I’m 23 and I still live at home. Don’t get me wrong, I have lived away from home before, but I wonder if/ when I will ever get a “proper career.” I’m currently working as a carer, but it’s my dream to be a published author one day (I’m self-published on Amazon so far!)
    ~Growing up is SCARY!

    July 8, 2015
  • Myra


    My seven year old grandson told me I wasn’t a normal granny. Best compliment I ever had.

    July 9, 2015
  • I don’t normally comment but I had to with this – I am the exact opposite (and now I feel like the freak haha) I couldn’t wait to grow up and move out and it frustrated me when my mother put boundaries up when I was sensible enough to make my own decisions. Of course this spurred on a rebellion, I spent my teenage years with a giant pink bow in my hair, soft doll like make up and clothes covered in safety pins. Then I met my other half at 18, moved into his house and took on half a mortgage at 18, and had our daughter at 19. I hated olives but forced myself to eat them because I wanted to be cultured and an adult and now I absolutely love them – I can eat punnets. Same with red wine, same with avocados, same with kale. My all time favourite breakfast is smoked salmon, avocado and cream cheese on toast with black pepper and rocket. Although that is a treat because I cannot afford smoked salmon every week haha. My last night out with the girls was a ballet at the hippodrome with prosecco followed by cocktails in a hotel on the harbourside. I love reading about nutrition and I love being a parent, and I love the picture of Dorian grey by Oscar Wilde. At weekends we travel to national trust sites or local ancient earthworks – even with our three year old. Yep I’m only 22. I love being an adult. On the other hand I love Disney, i love Disney world my honeymoon is going to be two weeks at port Orleans with my daughter and a dining package and I’m getting married on Mickey Mouse’s birthday – maybe I’m not so grown up after all…. O.O

    March 19, 2016
  • It’s good to know that I am not the only person in this world who refused to grow up… I am 35 and feel like 23 -it maybe helps that I literally look like 23 too – I love being an adult but I don’t want to settle down and have a steady life with husband and kids and grow old

    June 27, 2017
  • Mana


    I’m 31 and I’m currently deciding if a jumper dress is appropriate to wear to my sons potiential school for next year. With a smiley face tee under it. I definitely don’t feel like an adult. And when people tell me I’m a good mom I’m confused because I seriously feel like I’m 15 arguing with my brother again rather that 31 arguing with a 12 yr old.
    But my psychologist told me that’s not bad because it means I remember what he’s going through and I’m not to hard on him because of it. I can put myself in his shoes. But still I feel like a complete child, and I’m just waiting for my birthday so I can buy the shoes I want and have cake.

    July 2, 2018
  • Haha, yes! I so relate to this! I’m the one in our group from high school that go: “Wow, girls, isn’t it so weird that we all live on our own now, with mortgages and some of us are married, and with children even? How did THAT happen? Aren’t we still only 18 or something (err…we’re 31-ish, but who’s counting)?” And the others look at me like I am crazy, because surely this is the most normal thing in all the world. The years go by, don’t they, and all of us age?

    I realized after turning 30 that grownups aren’t really this mythical creature I thought they were. Rather, adults are just grownup kids and do as much stupid stuff as kids do, more or less. And I’m kind of baffled that I thought otherwise.

    The #07. by the way, is totally me. I hate walking by teenage groups, because surely they will judge my clothing, hair or whatever… And then I remember I am 15 years their senior, most of the time. Oops!

    July 30, 2018
  • I’m in my mid-30s and I was carded a couple of months ago! I was so flattered and excited!

    July 30, 2018
  • To be honest, I have felt grown up ever since I was 16. I am the oldest of four, maybe taht is the reason? Don´t get me wrong, I still tell the kids I am not hungry, make them eat their vegetables and then go to bed to watch a show eating Haribo once they are asleep, but I feel that is a very grown up thing to do.

    Anne|Linda, Libra, Loca

    July 30, 2018
  • Emma


    I always thought ‘when your a grown up your drink coffee’ because it’s what my parents do but I hate hot drinks … guess that means I’ll never be a grown up ha

    July 30, 2018
  • Nicole


    Hahaha I definitely mentally refer to salespeople as “the lady” and then feel weird when I realize they are probably my age or younger.

    July 30, 2018
  • Myra Boyle


    I think the days when people were expected to be adults died n the 1950’s or 60’s with the invention of the word teenager. Since then we have all behaved as if we are teenagers throughout our lives. We kid our children on that we are adults by preparing healthy meals, but as soon as they are asleep or have finally left the nest out come the Haribo, crisps and the chocolate. That’s when we buy the sports cars, dye our hair and go on global holidays that we couldn’t afford when the kids were growing up.

    July 30, 2018
  • Fiona


    Oh yes! I took my little cousin to get her ears pierced when she turned 13, and there was a sign in the shop that said that you could only get it done if you were accompanied by a responsible adult over 18. I clearly remember thinking ‘that’s ok, my mum’s here too’. I was 27, and heavily pregnant. Now I have kids old enough that I can rewatch teen dramas with them, and call it good parenting. It’s the best.

    July 30, 2018
  • Anna


    I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’m 26, and everyone else my age seems to have already become a grownup, while I’m still very much a child. I look almost 10 years younger than I am, so I don’t usually get mistaken for a lady (unless I’m wearing a suit jacket). But it starts to make me a little anxious. Lots of my high school classmates have children, and most of them have real jobs. I’m still in college for another 4 months, I still play children’s computer games, and sometimes random strangers stop me in public demanding “Why aren’t you in school, young lady?” (So I’m a *young* lady, which is very different from an *actual* lady)

    July 30, 2018
  • I don’t have kids but I found myself nodding along so much hahahaha!

    “All of the grown-ups I knew had jobs, which seemed really boring, and basically like school, but without the long holidays”. This is so true!!!

    Sora |

    August 4, 2018
  • Raquel


    OMG I’m laughing my ass off with some of the comments!!
    I think I’m usually responsible and I’m actually excited to grow up a bit more and start my life as a “supposed” adult, but in many ways I’m still totally a kid. I freaking love Disney, I can’t live without gummy bears and other kid sweets (I was the kid that ate ALL the gummy bears at parties and knew it was gonna give me a stomach ache but that it would totally be worth it – and it was), I look at least about 5 years younger than I am (hate it now, but I hope it stays this way when I’m 40!) and I hate alcohol and coffee which are the two things college students like me swear by…… At the same time, when I think I’m gonna be 22 in a few months, I think I’m getting WAY too old and this better stop at about 25 :p

    August 6, 2018
  • I can relate SO MUCH! It’s not just you. I mean I’ll be 30 next year but in my heart I’m still 14 and I still feel like 24. lol I’m such a kid.

    August 11, 2018
  • My best friend told me the other day that her 15-year-old daughter, who was labelled as ‘crazy’, ordered fertilised duck eggs on the internet. While I realise I was probably supposed to shake my head, I, instead, asked where she got them. I have since made a date with the daughter to go check on them while I’m home over Christmas. I’m SO excited.

    November 11, 2019