The One Where I Wear Black to a Christening. And on lots of other occasions.

I’ve just about recovered from the Two Flights from Hell experience. I’m not quite recovered from the experience of writing that mammoth post about it, mind you, but I’m soldiering on bravely, and the reason I’m soldiering on bravely is because I know you all have but one burning question in your minds right now, that question being:

“What DID Amber decide to wear to the christening?”

And the answer? Why, I wore the WRONG thing, of course. Of course.

After writing that long, rambling post about how I had absolutely nothing to wear and needed to clean out my wardrobe, I actually did go and clean out my wardrobe. But I still had absolutely nothing to wear, and this is because I work from home. Yes, I know I work from home as a fashion blogger, and you’d think that would make a difference, but you would be wrong, folks. The fact is, I sit around the house all day, venturing out only to either go to the gym, walk the dog or have my regular disastrous haircuts. Not only does it seem a little OTT to do all of this in a dress and heels, I’m also way too lazy to make the effort, which means I have adopted the skinny jeans/vest top/cardigan outfit that is my uniform.

When it comes to things like christenings, then? Nothing to wear.

In an effort to try and address this issue, I ordered loads of clothes from the Internet. Then I sent them all back again because either they just didn’t fit or looked really odd on me. See “The One Where I Am Deformed” for background on my really weird shape and how nothing ever fits me right. If you have nothing better to do with your life, obviously.

By the time last weekend rolled around, then, I STILL had absolutely nothing to wear. So for the first leg of our journey, which involved travelling from Edinburgh to Birmingham, to briefly visit Terry’s brother John, I went with my trusty outfit of … er, skinny jeans and a top. Because I am THAT adventurous. Oh, and I also took a cardigan. And a coat. And SPF 50, because the thing about travelling in the UK is that you never know WHAT you might need.

In this case, it was the SPF 50. The sun was absolutely blazing down on Birmingham, and by the time we’d finished walking around the agricultural fair John and Jolene took us to near their house (this was really nice, and I got to touch an owl. Note to self: ask Terry again if we can get an owl.) I had basically melted, and was really regretting the skinny jeans, let me tell you.

Anyway, we had lunch at a cute little country restaurant (we weren’t actually in Birmingham city centre, by the way, but in the countryside surrounding it) and then went to John and Jolene’s house, which was lovely. Then it was time to drive south, to Hertfordshire, where we checked into our hotel and started getting ready to meet my friends Stephanie and Nick (parents of the baby being christened) and most of Nick’s family for dinner. Here’s what I WAS planning to wear to the restaurant:


The problem with this, though? Couldn’t iron it. This was fairly annoying to me because I’m a little bit obsessed with ironing. I mean, I say, “a little bit” – I’m the woman who took her iron with her to Hertfordshire. Yes. And before you say anything, yes, I know hotels normally have irons in them. But I’d stayed in this hotel before, and it had been one of those situations where you have to ask for the iron at reception and they bring it to your room. I knew we were going to have less than an hour to check in and then get ourselves to the restaurant, and what if someone else in the hotel was using the iron at the time, and I was forced to wear really badly creased clothes? WHAT IF, people?

Well, that thought just could not be borne. I iron EVERYTHING. Sometimes I iron things when they come out of the machine, and then iron them again before I wear them. We recently ran a poll on The Fashion Police asking people whether or not they iron, and I was absolutely amazed by the number of people who said they don’t even own irons, let alone use them. How do they do it? How are they not walking around looking constantly crumpled? Because I certainly am, and I DO iron. It boggles my mind.

Anyway, that black dress crumples up like a dishcloth if you so much as look at it, let alone cram it in a suitcase for several hours, so I packed the iron. And of course, there was one in the room. D’oh! But I did not wear the black the dress. No, because it’s a really complicated dress, with lots of different sections that need to be very carefully ironed, and it was screwed up like a dishcloth and I just didn’t have time. So instead, I wore another black dress. Which seriously, was a really, really bad idea given how freaking hot it was…

Anyway, we met up with Stephanie and headed to the restaurant where we proceeded to slowly melt while catching up and drinking way too much wine. Really great to see her again, though: Steph and I have been friends since the first day of university, when we discovered we were the only two girls in the dinner queue wearing high heels. We shared a flat together in Edinburgh for two years (two different flats, actually, both fairly scummy), and now she has a baby, OMG! I haven’t seen her since my wedding, and the weekend made me wish I lived closer to my friends, and not just because maybe they’d be able to stop me wearing skinny jeans or black dresses all the time.

After dinner Terry and I went back to our hotel and had another glass of wine each. Because if you haven’t drank much in the way of water all day, are starting to dehydrate from the heat, and have remembered to bring the iron but forgotten to bring the painkillers, you would totally have another glass of wine at that point. Then we went to bed, and in the morning I got up and got dressed for the christening in….


Yet another black dress! Well, it couldn’t really have been anything else, could it now?

Of course, everyone else was dressed as if for a wedding. And it was boiling. But we still had a fantastic time:: the baby, Dylan, is just super-cute, and my other friend, Morag (also from University) was there, and announced that she’s expecting a baby of her own in January, so it was a day of much celebrating. The weather was glorious, the barbecue was yummy, and I ate about four slices of cake.

But I am now more determined than ever to try and invest in some clothes that aren’t:

a) skinny jeans


b) black dresses

I’m recording this fact here to try and motivate myself to actually do this.

And now I’m going to go and do some ironing.

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Related: How walk in stilettos

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  • You look lovely in both, and make me very ashamed of my slatterny, never iron stuff, work in my PJs ways, but that first dress is just *gorgeous*, IMO. x

    July 30, 2008
  • Diane, I wish I could claim my compulsive ironing was because I'm super-organised and always groomed, but it's actually because I have this inate ability to make absolutely everything I put on look instantly like it's been dragged through the proverbial hedge backwards, and then forwards again, wiht me in it! I often think how the readers of my fashion blog would laugh if they could see how I slob around at home. My family are starting to think the skinnies will have to be surgically removed 🙂

    But thank you for your lovely comment – that first dress is my current favourite, I just wish I had an excuse to actually wear it!

    July 30, 2008
  • The first dress is FANTASTIC! Very 50s – gorgeous. And the second is lovely too – I would wear that for a christening if it looked that pretty! It's not like its funeral wear!

    I think you look fabulous anyway – in both dresses.

    July 30, 2008
  • Danielle


    I LOVE the first dress! I may have to come and steal it.

    July 30, 2008
  • I also like to iron, I don't think I can claim to have quite the enthusiastic passion about ironing as you do, but I still think it is essential.

    Both those dresses look stunning on you, so it dosen't matter that you wear a lot of black dresses, cause they are so freakin hot on you!

    Thanks for checking out my blog today! I almost again flipped when I saw another amalah hit on my site, I so luv her. ha ha!

    I will be back for sure, love your blog layout!

    July 30, 2008
  • I LOVE both of them! You look lovely!

    I wish I could wear jeans every day. Well that is a lie, I wish I could wear pajamas all day, every day.

    July 31, 2008
  • You look great in both of these!

    July 31, 2008
  • The first is lovely! Well, both are but I really truly love the first. Bah, hate you! 😉

    July 30, 2008
  • I don’t see what’s wrong with either of those dresses – they are both lovely!

    July 31, 2008
  • Selina


    Both gorgeous dresses, that first dress is so, so beautiful – I covet it. Of course I’m five foot tall and on the overweight side of curvy so I’m not even going to try to imagine what I would look like in it. (Wait … I did, and it wasn’t pretty!).

    When I was home full-time with my first baby I ironed obsessively. These days I couldn’t even tell you where the iron is. My grandmother came from the ‘if it doesn’t move iron it’ school of thought, my grandfather’s Y-fronts were beautifully pressed, as were the sheets.

    July 31, 2008
  • Iron? What’s an iron? 🙂

    I actually go out of my way to buy things that will NEVER require ironing. This will explain why I mainly wear trackie daks, mind you! :)))

    Love that second dress – totally glad you eventually bought it! Well worth it :)) (And the first one is also lovely)


    July 31, 2008
  • You must let me know what the little country restaurant is – I’ve just moved down Birmingham area, and could use any tips I can get!

    July 31, 2008
  • Both your dresses are gorgeous!
    Btw, I think you must have jinxed me in some strange way! I was one of the people who (in the F.Police poll) answered they never iron, and every single thing I’ve bought since that damn poll seems to require ironing, so now I iron all the time!

    August 1, 2008
  • I do own an iron and use it fairly regularly. And by fairly regularly, I mean once a week, since I try to wear clothes that never need ironed. Unfortunately when I shop, those are never the clothes I really want. But I don't really mind ironing…

    Also, I have always wanted an owl, since at least a decade before the whole Harry Potter craze. I saw a picture in a book of a houseful of different pets, living together in harmony, and of course one was a very tiny owl. Apparantly you can't get small ones like that now except for on the black market, or unless you steal them out of the nests…hmmm…

    August 1, 2008
  • I think both dresses are lovely. I’m not certain arriving at a christening in black was worse than, say, wearing hot pink would have been. Perhaps you should hunt for a lovely pastel before the next christening? Yellow is fabulous on my ginger daughter and sons…

    August 1, 2008
  • Steph


    You have such beautiful dresses! And you look so good in them! I am experiencing massive fashion envy at the moment 😛

    August 1, 2008
  • Thank you for all the lovely comments, everyone!

    On the ironing issue, I should probably say that I actually HATE ironing with a vengeance. I mean, I don’t do it because I enjoy it, just because everything I own seems to crease really easily, even more so because we have so little storage that all my clothes are crammed in on top of each other.

    @ Lauren – I actually had no idea where I was at any given time while we were in the Midlands, so I have no idea about the restuarant, but I will ask my brother-in-law and let you know!

    August 1, 2008
  • I love the second dress! I don’t need one but where’s it from anyway.

    Also, what is an iron?

    August 4, 2008
  • Sheila


    That first dress…I am so jealous of it! I would do just about anything to get my hands on that dress (in red though, I never wear black)! And the shoes are top notch, really gorgeous!

    August 4, 2008
  • Camilla, the second dress is from Topshop, but from a few months ago – they don’t have it on the website any more, but they may have it in store….

    Sheila – thank you! I would love one in every colour!

    August 4, 2008