press for

Blogging Killed the Radio Star: a.k.a That One Time I Was On The Vanessa Feltz Show

Actually, a better title for this entry would probably be something like, “Being so nervous she almost threw up on her dressing gown killed the radio star” but that doesn’t sound so good, and is way harder to sing, so let’s just stick with this one. Also, “radio star” is just a little bit of an overstatement, but let’s let that one slide too, because yesterday? Before I’d even had my first coffee of the day, checked my email or, indeed, got dressed? I appeared on the Vanessa Feltz show on BBC Radio London.

To be honest, the “no clothes” bit isn’t quite right, because at some point between the phone call from the researcher asking me if I’d do it, and being live on air, I managed to find the time to shrug off my ratty old dressing gown and throw on some clothes. I dunno, it’s just felt important that I be clothed for the occasion, somehow. It was only as I got ready for bed last night that I realised I’d been wearing my underwear inside out all day. Ah well, at least it wasn’t TV…

So anyway, I was asked onto the show to speak about shoes. Well, obviously. I mean, what the hell else would I talk about? Apparently women spend over £33,000 on shoes in their lifetime, you see, and they were looking for a shoe expert to talk about this. Yes, a “shoe expert”. Because I am TOTALLY one of those. GOD, I knew all those shoes would come in handy some day. (Obviously, the radio people were actually looking to speak to Gemma about this subject, but she was on holiday, so they got stuck with me. Sucks to be them, no? ) People may mock me and my obsession with footwear, but LOOK WHERE IT HAS GOT ME, people. (She says sitting in her spare bedroom in her ratty old dressing gown.)

Vanessa herself was on holiday yesterday, so I was interviewed by Lesley Joseph, which was kind of surreal for me, because I used to watch her on TV years ago, and then suddenly there I was, babbling nonsense to her about shoes. About halfway through, they brought on another guest and the producer came back onto my line and told me I was done, so all the listeners heard me going “OK then, bye!” and then everyone else going “Ooh! Looks like we’ve lost Amber!”, but that was totally NOT MY FAULT and they hadn’t lost me at all, although by that point they probably wished they had. I mean, this is the girl who doesn’t even like talking to people on the phone because of that whole “inability to speak and think at the same time” thing, so getting me to speak on the radio was just asking for trouble, really.

I haven’t been able to listen to it. Well, OK, I listened back to the first ten seconds when Terry played it back to me, then I had to stick my fingers in my ears and go “Lalalalala!” really loudly to block it out, because the sound of my voice is excruciating to me. I am comforting myself, though, with the knowledge that this was just BBC London, not the whole country. I mean, there’s hardly anyone lives in London, right?

P.S. I write a weekly diary which goes out every Friday to my subscribers. Sign up below to get on the list...

books by Amber Eve
  • LOL poor you. I am confused so when they said you were done you weren't really done yet?

    The sound of your own voice is totally creepy. Creeps me out everytime as well. Makes me wonder if everyone thinks I speak like Mickey Mouse.

    February 26, 2008
  • Steph


    Holy broadcast, Batgirl! Well done, that's really cool. I don't like to hear my own voice either, when it's played back to me, I sound like a small boy. A very very dull small boy. I wonder if that's what I really sound like to everyone else…

    February 26, 2008
  • Hi Amber – I've just listened to it on the podcast. You sound great. I would have been erming and uming. And 'Gone With the Wind' rocks 🙂

    February 26, 2008
  • Erik (Sorrento)


    You're not just a radio star, you're a star. Despite what you think about your voice, I am so happy for you. You're getting the exposure you deserve. You deserve even more. I'm trying to find the interview online. Which part of the 3 hour show were you on?

    February 26, 2008
  • Erik, I'm not sure how long it had been on for before I came on… Think I may be near the end, but I wouldn't look too hard for it, if I were you 🙂

    I'm still recovering from the idea that thousands of people potentially heard me babble. I'm used to embarrassing myself in front of fewer people than that!

    Jenny – my favourite film is actually "Office Space", but no one ever seems to have heard of it, so I figured I'd keep it simple! I do love Gone With the Wind, though: I really want to be Vivien Leigh when I grow up…

    It seems that the "hating hearing your own voice" thing is common to us all then. This is the main reason I hate talking on the phone – the thought of other people hearing my voice is just too cringeworthy !

    February 26, 2008
  • Wow! I wish I'd heard it! Well done, Amber 🙂

    And I'm sure you did better than Paul, when World News asked him to talk about rugby. Or so they said. They actually ended up asking him about council elections in Limerick and he was so flummoxed he actually had to say, "to be honest, I don't know how to answer that".

    So compared to that, you ARE a radio star 🙂

    February 26, 2008
  • That's awesome! I would be so much worse. Like I'd start mumbling and then tell everyone that I wasn't wearing underwear or something.

    February 28, 2008
  • Obviously I don't know the show, but I am so jealous you got to talk on the radio about shoes. That is awesome!

    February 28, 2008
  • I'm very impressed Amber!
    Next time (yes!), keep your dressing gown on though – it'll help, I just know it… x

    February 29, 2008