[TRIGGER WARNIG / CAVEAT: I wrote this post as a diary entry back in December 2016, when I had just been diagnosed with, and was receiving treatment for, an ectopic pregnancy. If you’re reading this now, you should know that I suffer from extreme health anxiety, and have a crippling phobia of surgery, both of which made my reactions to this situation much more extreme than might otherwise be the case. So please read with kindness, and be aware that this post may be triggering for people who are pregnant, have experienced pregnancy loss, or who suffer from anxiety related to health and medical procedures. Thanks for understanding. If you’d like to read all my posts on ectopic pregnancy, you’ll find them here.]
Guys, the HCG went down by 62%!
Sixty. Two. Percent.
Given that the hospital are mostly looking for a 15% drop at this stage, and would consider that to be a decent result, I think I just might be the happiest woman in the UK right now. I’m definitely one of the most relieved, because… well, you’ve read my last few posts on this (er, unless you’re the person who keeps commenting asking me to measure my Ikea dressing table, obviously, in which case you probably didn’t…): you know how off-the-scale-anxious I’ve been about this, don’t you?
Anyway. I’m not going to say I’m out of the woods quite yet, because I said that before, and we all know how THAT ended up, don’t we? I will, however, say, that I’m currently feeling better than I have in weeks, and that things are looking very, very positive – much more so than I had even dared hope.
I still probably have a long road ahead of me before I can consider this whole thing truly over: I have another blood draw scheduled for Saturday morning, and it’s still possible that the levels could rise or plateau again, so it could still be a few weeks before I’m officially discharged. The current levels of HGC in my system, however, are now lower they were when I was first tested, four weeks ago, and are low enough that it would basically be something of a medical miracle if they were to somehow manage to rise to a level that would cause any concern.
Although my health anxiety likes to try to convince me otherwise, I know I am NOT in fact a medical miracle, so while I’m not counting my chickens (I mean, where would I even GET chickens to count at this time on a Tuesday?), it’s looking good. I’m feeling good. And I know there will likely be some tough times ahead when I start to really process what’s happened, and address the anxiety issue, but for now I’m just trying to enjoy the return to sanity I’ve been experiencing since we got the results back this morning, and to focus on the positives, of which there are many.
On that subject, today was actually easier than expected. Not only did the blood draw go without a hitch (“Yes,” said Terry, as the nurse took out her kit, “The butterfly needles are my preference, too: I always find them more reliable…” “Er, my husband did two years of dialysis,” I felt I had to point out, “That’s how he knows this stuff. He’s not a nurse. Or, you know, a junkie…”), they got the results back to us within a couple of hours, during which I managed to remain almost as calm as, well, a normal person would be. I even managed to drink a cup of coffee, although I will admit to being a little bit perturbed when Terry ate the gingerbread man shown in the photo. I mean, he had a FACE, people! A face!
Anyway. I just wanted to update those of you who’ve been kind enough to show an interest in this whole saga (Again, if you’re just here for the dimensions of the Ikea dressing table, THEY HAVE THAT INFORMATION ON THEIR OWN WEBSITE. Seriously, CONTACT IKEA: I’m sure they’ll be more accurate than I would be, anyway!). I can’t promise an instant return to normal content (and if you’ve emailed me, please don’t be offended if it takes me a while to get back to you: I have read and appreciated every single message so, SO much, but my inbox is currently looking almost as intimidating as the hospital itself right now…), but then again, I’ve just this second remembered that unopened ASOS parcel waiting downstairs for me, so you never really know, do you?
Thanks again to everyone who’s commented/emailed/messaged/just spared me a kind thought over the last few days: if this whole, horrendous experience has taught me anything, it’s that there are some amazing people out there, and if that’s not a good note to end on, I don’t know what is.
Read all my posts on ectopic pregnancy
Wendy
12/13/2016A cautious “Whoo Hoo” shout out from me. I’m very very glad that things seem to be resolved. Xx
Myra
12/13/2016Delighted to hear this news, and continue to hope all goes well now xx
Žanete
12/13/2016I’m so happy for you, Amber. 🙂
Natalie
12/13/2016YAY!!!!!!
Husband
12/13/2016I know my needles 🙂
Husband
Sue @ A Colourful Canvas
12/13/2016With numbers down as they are, things do appear to be looking up. Take good care Amber.
Miranda | Miranda's Notebook
12/13/2016SO happy the results were such good news! xxx
Emily Jayne
12/13/2016So glad that things are looking brighter x
Maria
12/13/2016Great to hear some positive news, take care of yourself.
lila athanaselis
12/13/2016Yaaaaasss!!! xxx
Laura
12/13/2016Yay, this is brilliant news! Hope things continue to improve x
Barbara West
12/13/2016Very, very happy to know you’re feeling better and that the lab results are so encouraging!
Theresa
12/13/2016So relieved Amber to hear that things are going the right way at last! My son and his wife have been going through a similar situation on two occasions over the last year too, so I really feel for you and Terry.
Let’s look forward to a much happier and less stressful year ahead and I hope this is just the start of a more positive road for you both xx
Anna
12/13/2016Such encouraging news, I’m thrilled for you xxx
Anna nuttall
12/13/2016Yay I want to give you a big hug. You’re still in my thoughts. xx
Elaine
12/13/2016Fantastic! So pleased for you. Well done today Amber!
lalie
12/13/2016thank you for taking the time to updating us! Happy times ahead!
Jennifer Drenning Kemberling
12/13/2016So happy for you
Helen Love
12/13/2016Great news, Amber! Fantastic results! Wishing you well, and sending lots of love xxx
Jean
12/13/2016What are the dimensions… JUST KIDDING…. I’ve been thinking of you so much. Feel kind of stalkerish leaving three comments in the past few weeks when I normally never comment on anything (your blog included) but I just want you to know we’re out here thinking of you, checking up on you, and gunning for you. Like I said in other comments, sigh, I don’t have health anxiety, but sky-high generalized anxiety and I found this book DARE that actually helped a little today. So we’ll see. Good luck to you Amber and I know you’ll get the joyful holidays you deserve and can strategize next steps, if you feel like that, in the new year.
Susanne Rech
12/13/2016I’m very glad to hear these positive news and wish that it may continue to be good news….hugs xx
Maria
12/13/2016Keep going the right way, gorgeous girl! We are all routing for you xx
Marina Che
12/13/2016I didn’t responded before but I read your posts and I’m very happy for you! 🙂
Wish you good health!
Mel Mc
12/13/2016xxx
Sarah Rooftops
12/13/2016Wonderful news! Fingers tightly crossed that the physical side will all be over soon.
Carmen Romero
12/13/2016Glad to Hear good news. I wish you a more peaceful 2017. Sending kisses from the sunny southern Spain.
Liana
12/13/2016So glad to hear the good news!!! ?
Emily
12/13/2016Yay yay yay yay! So happy for you. Keeping everything crossed it all keeps going the right way, as I am sure it will x
Stephanie
12/13/2016So glad to read this latest update! As a long time reader but rarely a commenter, I have read each post, hoping for the very best for you.
Kirsty
12/13/2016So glad to hear the results are looking good and that you’re feeling more positive. I’ve been reading all your posts lately and hoping for the best so it’s great to hear that things are looking up!
Louise
12/13/2016Glad to hear things seem to be looking up, enjoy just right now xx
The Other Emma
12/13/2016Excellent, fingers crossed you continue to get good news xx
Trona
12/13/2016I am *so* pleased things are looking up for you and you’re feeling somewhat better. Like I said previously if you ever want to talk about techniques for handling anxiety I’m more than happy to help, if I can. Lots of love xxx
Erin Burrows
12/13/2016I’m so pleased the results have improved! Keeping you in my thoughts until you have the all clear!
Moira
12/13/2016So pleased things are heading in the right direction xx
Kelly Glen
12/13/2016This is such a positive result and I along with everyone else hope it continues to go well for you and Terry.
Take care and all the best.
Anna
12/13/2016I’m very happy to hear such encouraging news! xx
Anna
12/14/2016I’m very happy to hear that things are looking up, and I wish you a speedy and complete (or as complete as possible) recovery.
Antonia
12/14/2016I know that this isn’t the end of the road (especially for someone with HA – I’m still not 100% sure about that mole a doctor told me was fine seven years ago; god isn’t HA just HILARIOUS) but this is real, hard numbers and I am so, so hoping things continue in the right direction. The terrible days are bad enough; enjoy the good ones. Thinking of you x
Jennifer
12/14/2016I’m so glad to hear you finally got a bit of better news. I hope all continues to go as well as can be expected. My thoughts are with both of you.
Sian
12/14/2016I’m so glad to hear this! I’ve been following your posts and crossing all my fingers that you’d be getting some good news soon, so yay! Hope it all continues to go well and you’re feeling as well as you can be as soon as possible 🙂
xx
CiCi Marie
12/14/2016Yay, some good news at last! Seriously glad to hear it 🙂
Helen
12/14/2016Amazing news… hope next lot of blood test continue to show a decrease, and that you are discharged soon Amber! Sending my usual love and good vibes! xxx
Erin
12/14/2016Still sending you all my good vibes <3 Glad to hear the positive news!
Dubliner in Deutschland
12/14/2016Aw so glad to hear that good news. Happy to hear all going better x
A
12/14/2016I am very glad to read that things are improving and that you are feeling better!
Liz in Paris
12/15/2016Brilliant news Amber! You may even find you come through this stronger. Just imagine, a routine doc’s visit is a piece of p*ss compared to what you’ve been through. Thinking of you. Stay strong. And a big hug to Terry and your parents too.
Amy K
12/15/2016I’d taken a break from reading most blogs over the last six months, but I wandered back to yours last week and got caught up on recent events. Amber, I’m so sorry you and Terry have gone through this. Thank goodness the medical part of your saga appears to be winding down. Here’s to a much improved 2017. After the surprise election of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named over here in the US, one popular ornament this holiday season has been a burning dumpster (skip) with the year 2016 written on it. I haven’t bought it because the last thing I want to do is revisit this year’s awfulness each time I put up my Christmas tree, but I’m sure you can appreciate the sentiment.
What Lou Wore 365
12/16/20163 days late but yay, really pleased for you. Have a good weekend & good luck with the bloods tomorrow x
Princess Peach
12/18/2016Tip from a fellow needle phobe with difficult veins: put your hands under hot water to bring them to the surface. I learns this after a week in the hospital and SEVERAL failed hand attempts to draw blood. Also, relax. Easier said than done, I know, but freaking out will it more painful. Perhaps try a guided meditation with breathing exercises? Any port in a storm eh?
Cathie
12/18/2016Glad you are seeing a positive outcome, and sorry you get such insensitive comments on posts like these.