Chi Chi London 'Nora' floral dress worn with blue Hell Bunny cardigan and Kurt Geiger flats

At least we know why the pipes blocked now*

Chi Chi London 'Nora' floral dress worn with blue Hell Bunny cardigan and Kurt Geiger flats

On Friday, I’d just finished a run on the treadmill, and was guzzling water in the kitchen before heading to the shower, when I saw my parents’ car pull up outside.

There then followed a quick flurry of activity. My parents were here to advise Terry on the ongoing work in the powder room, and I also grabbed the opportunity to get my mum to pin up a new dress that had just arrived (the green version, obviously…) ready for hemming. While this was going on, a delivery man turned up with the new tiles for the bathroom floor, a neighbour appeared to pick up a parcel we’d taken in (and was quickly roped into carrying tiles into the house…), and Rubin lost his mind a couple of times, because there were PEOPLE! IN HIS HOUSE! OMG!

At some point in all of this, I ran upstairs to throw a hoodie over my sports bra, and spotting my sport socks lying on the floor (I’d removed them during the trying-on-of-the-dress), I picked them up to throw them in the laundry hamper.

Now, I know you’re all familiar with laundry hampers, but, purely for the purpose of foreshadowing, ours lives in the bathroom attached to our bedroom, and  is a large white basket with a hinged lid on the top, which you raise in order to use it. I raised the lid, threw the socks inside, then headed back downstairs.

A little while later, everyone had gone, and I headed back upstairs to shower. Before I did, I raised the lid on the toilet, and…




So, apparently, in my unthinking haste, I’d selected the wrong “large white thing with a lid on the top” in the bathroom. D’OH. Thankfully, I hadn’t flushed it – presumably because I thought it was the laundry basket at the time, and the laundry basket doesn’t HAVE a flush. Even MORE thankfully, I noticed the socks BEFORE attempting to use the toilet for its ACTUAL purpose, because that could’ve been nasty.

My worst random act of stupidity so far, though? I think so.

*I’m happy to report that no socks were found in our blocked drain, so presumably this was the first time I’ve committed this particular random act of stupidity. Hopefully the last, too, but you never really know with me, do you?



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books by Amber Eve
  • OMG that was so funny I just spilt my tea all over the sofa- that was not funny because now I have to get the tea stain out.
    I really don’t know how you do it Amber – really you have brightened my day (still laid out with the lurgy after 2 weeks)

    October 28, 2014
  • I don’t know how you manage to tell such an everyday (well, for some of us more everyday than others!) story and make it so hilarious, but I’m glad you do! I really was expecting there to be an answer for the pipes and that you were the cause… but never say never, eh? 😉

    October 28, 2014
  • I feel your pain – I put a LOT of thing sin the bin instead of the dishwasher for no discernible reason… N x

    Saving Faces

    October 28, 2014
  • I’m trying to wind down and go to bed (she says with the iPad on her lap!) but I’m now laughing MY socks off and am so wide awake!! X

    October 28, 2014
  • This is the best thing I’ve read all day. In other news: cake!
    The Accidental Mama

    October 29, 2014
  • Trying so hard not to laugh out loud in the office. It hurts. Oh God.

    October 29, 2014
  • Nicola


    Bahaha… so funny. I have been known to put a half-full carton of milk in the bin and a used tea bag on a teaspoon in the fridge.

    October 29, 2014
  • Claudia


    That’s not stupidity – it is just your autopilot not receiving the required energy input because so much energy has gone towards the chaos. Whenever I am stressed I start to loose things, forget things, make stupid mistakes. Once I put a black cashmere sweater in the pile with the black ordinary stuff, like polos and socks, because it was – black. I only noticed my mistake after I took the load from the tumble dryer to fold it. It was a size 00 and stiff as a board. And only because some stupid deadlines had decided to team up against me…

    November 6, 2014