Things People Have Said to Me Lately
Just a few things people have felt the need to say to me over the past few weeks:
“Be careful not to drink that upholstery cleaner we brought you, because that’ll kill you.” [My mum]
“Have you put that upholstery cleaner away yet? It’s just, we’re worried you’re going to drink it by accident…”[My dad]
“You haven’t drunk any of that upholstery cleaner, have you?” [Terry]
(Seriously, WHAT IS IT with my family and the freaking upholstery cleaner?!)
“When you’re loading the dishwasher, make sure you put the knives sharp-side down. Otherwise you might trip and impale yourself on them.” [My mum]
[In response to a suggestion from my dad that I buy ‘giant floor-cleaning slippers’] “No, because Amber would fall on her ass in them and hurt herself…” [My mum, again…]
“Don’t ever stand under a wind turbine…” [Guess who?]
No prizes for spotting the general theme of these statements. Or for guessing which of my parents I inherited the “worry” gene from.
Honestly, though: you’d almost think I was the kind of person who’d throw her socks down the toilet or… oh.