Misophonia examples

I thought I was an asshole: it turns out I just have misophonia..

Misophonia: when sounds make you murderous…

I’m standing in line at the cash register in a clothing store in Orlando, when suddenly I hear it.

CRACK!

The girl in line behind me is standing so close she’s almost touching me… and she’s chomping hard on a stick of gum, then cracking it loudly in my ear every few seconds.

The hair on the back of my neck stands on end. She’s going to do it again, I just know it.

CRACK!

And again.

CRACK!

I start counting in my head, and it’s roughly every ten seconds, the loud, obnoxious chomping broken by the loud CRACK. The line isn’t getting any shorter: the woman at the front has a bag of returns she’s complaining about, a supervisor is being called, and…

CRACK!

I literally cannot stand it.

No, seriously: I mean, I know it’s all the rage to use ‘literally’ to mean ‘figuratively’, but the blood is pounding in my ears, my hands are shaking, and I swear to God, if I have to hear this girl crack her gum one more time, I’m going to…

CRACK!

Yeah, that.

Instead, I turn and leave the line, abandoning my planned purchase and racing to get away from this hideous, repetitive noise, which is literally – LITERALLY – making me want to punch someone.

It’s not the first time this – or something like it – has happened.

What is misophonia?

I, you see, suffer from misophonia : a little known condition which is probably best described as an sound sensitivity syndrome in which sufferers have a strong negative reaction to certain sounds or other triggers . One of my trigger sounds, needless to say, is the sound of gum cracking – or being chewed loudly. Other triggers include things like…

Common misophonia triggers:

– the thumping baseline of music playing at a distance.

– the tinny sound of music/radio seeping through cheap headphones.

– GUM.

– someone clicking a sweet against their teeth.

– or hitting their cutlery against their plate with every bite.

– loud chewing, chomping or slurping.

whistling.

and on, and on and on.

And, I mean, I know what you’re thinking. You’re all, “Er, NO ONE likes hearing those sounds, Amber – it doesn’t have to mean you have a mental health condition, FFS.”

Which is true, of course – and probably one of the reasons misophonia is so easily dismissed by a large part of the population. The fact is, though, for most people, those kind of sounds are a minor annoyance at best. For someone with a selective sound sensitivity like misophonia, on the other hand, they’re like a form of torture, invoking a powerful fight or flight response … which is why I ran out of that store a few years ago (So long, beautiful dress I never got to buy!) rather than turn around and scream at some poor girl to STOP CRACKING GUM ALREADY. Which, honestly, I was REALLY close to doing.

Quite simply, misophonia makes me feel murderous. It’s like this red mist of rage which descends, making me feel anxious and panicky, and like I could quite literally kill the person responsible for the noise. I’ve always said that if I ever get arrested, it’ll be because someone was whistling in my street, or clicking their fork against their teeth, and, just to add to the fun, as well as these painful trigger sounds, I also have some visual misophonia triggers going on, too.

Visual Misophonia Triggers

– hair twirling.

– thumb twiddling.

– foot waggling.

– feet rubbing together.

So, basically any kind of repetitive motion happening within my eyeline, really. These kind of actions will all provoke that same kind of instant rage which makes me want to – and sometimes HAVE to – run away, just to escape it.

Sounds fun, no?

It isn’t, needless to say: not for me, and not for any of the members of my family, who’ve had to put up with years of being asked repeatedly to please, PLEASE stop rubbing their feet together like that, or I will LITERALLY DIE OVER HERE.

DEEP BREATH.

For years, I assumed I was just an asshole.

So did most people I met.

Then, a few years ago, I came across a news article about a psychiatric disorder called misophonia, and all of a sudden, everything clicked into place. I forwarded the article to my husband and parents. “Sound like anyone you know?” I asked. “ER, YES!” came the instant response.

It was me down to a T – it even mentioned the loathed foot waggling/rubbing, which had enraged me for my entire life, and which still prompts a physical feeling of disgust which I can only liken to the sound of nails down a blackboard, say. I’d never encountered even one other soul who understood this reaction, let alone shared it, but here I was, reading about it in a news article, and discovering there were other people just like me, all over the world. I mean, we couldn’t ALL just be assholes, could we?

(Er, on second thoughts, maybe don’t answer that…)

Misophonia examplesBeing diagnosed with misophonia

That article helped make me feel a bit less like a freak… but the jury was still out. My family all agreed that if misophonia was actually A Thing, then I definitely had it. But WAS it? A Thing, I mean? Or was it maybe just a Made Up Thing, designed to make all of us Absolute Assholes feel a little bit better about ourselves?

I wasn’t sure: and, of course, reading about something on the internet isn’t the same as actually being diagnosed with it – which is why I chose to keep quiet about my suspected misophonia, and to continue carrying earplugs with me everywhere I went.

Then, last year, I started seeing a counsellor in the run-up to my c-section, and one of the things we talked about was my phobia of hospitals, and just why, exactly, I was so totally freaked out at the thought of having to stay in one. So, we discussed all of the obvious reasons – the fact that I might, you know, DIE, being the main one – and then I sheepishly brought up one of my other big fears: that I wouldn’t be able to handle the NOISE.

Hospitals are noisy places. I’d already spent a lot of that year visiting my mother-in-law in the very hospital I’d be giving birth in, and I’d been totally horrified by the TVs blaring loudly in the wards, the music seeping out of cheap headphones, and all of the other sounds that never seemed to stop. I remember one afternoon we sat with Terry’s mum for over an hour, and the whole time we were there, some random piece of equipment emitted a loud BEEP! every ten seconds or so. I know because I counted… and yes, it really did continue for the full hour, by the end of which, I was about fit to be tied.

(And no, it wasn’t actually supposed to be doing that: it was a patient’s buzzer malfunctioning, apparently, and none of the other three people in the room at the time were even remotely troubled by it.)

I would not handle that kind of noise well: I knew it, but I was embarrassed to admit it, because… well, what kind of asshole complains about the noise of a place that exists to save your life, I ask you?

(Don’t answer that one, either…)

(I actually wouldn’t have complained about it, by the way. I had, however, done a bit of a recce around the hospital, and had decided that, if there really WAS music playing until midnight (Which actually happened in the ward my mum stayed in earlier this year…), I’d just go and sit in the waiting room for the rest of the night. Or the hospital reception. Or, you know, the car park or something. ANYTHING to escape the relentless THUMP! THUMP! of a partially-heard baseline, amiright?)

(Yeah, these are all rhetorical questions, OK?)

Anyway, I shamefacedly admitted to the psychologist that one of the things that was worrying me most about the hospital stay was the fact that I couldn’t seem to handle certain sounds without absolutely losing my mind, and the thought of being unable to get away from these sounds, if they occurred, was causing a level of preemptive anxiety I was struggling to rationalise. I expected to just be dismissed, or told my reactions to these noises were totally unreasonable. Much to my surprise, though, the doctor looked up with interest.

“You’ve probably never heard of this,” she said, “But there’s a condition called misophonia, and…”

“OMG YES I’VE HEARD OF IT BUT I DIDN’T THINK IT WAS ACTUALLY REAL!” I gabbled incoherently, amazed that there was actually someone out there who knew what I was talking about when I said I wanted to murder people who click boiled sweets around their teeth before swallowing them.*

(*Not really.)

(*Yes, though.)

“Oh, it’s definitely real,” she assured me. “And it definitely sounds like you have it.”

I breathed a huge sigh of relief: FINALLY, I had a diagnosis! And it wasn’t just, “ASSHOLE.”

“The problem is,” the psychologist continued, “It really isn’t well understood. And there’s no cure.”

Ah.

There is that, of course.

There is currently no medically reviewed treatment or cure for misophonia, which didn’t even have a name until the year 2000.

Although some people may find they have some success with things like cognitive behavioral therapy, the problem is that we don’t fully understand what causes misophonia, making it one of the least-well understood mental health conditions, and something there still hasn’t been enough research on for any kind of medicine or other cure to have been developed, more’s the pity.

That means that all people like me can do is try to develop coping strategies (Read about mine here.) I, for instance, use ear-plugs a lot – or, at least, I did before Max came along. I play my own music or TV to try to drown out the thudding baselines and tinny speaker sounds that bother me so much. And, if I find myself in a situation like the one in that clothing store in Orlando a few years back, I get the hell out of it, as fast as I can.

Misophonia Q&A:

Is there a misophonia test?

There’s no current test for misophonia, meaning that the only way to know whether you’ve got it is by comparing your symptoms to those of other sufferers, or taking medical advice from a health professional who can apply their own diagnostic criteria to what you tell them.

What are some misophonia examples?

I’ve listed qutie a few of my own triggers in this article, but the main thing that distinguishes misophonia from the simple annoyance many people feel from time to time when confronted with certain sounds is the level of rage it induces in sufferers. This will probably sound crazy, but I have genuinely never known rage like I’ve felt when forced to listen to some kind of repetitive sound which I have no control over. Under normal circumstances, I’m one of the least confrontational people you’ll ever meet, but I’ve been known to bang on a neighbours door to ask them to turn their bass down, run out of stores to get away from someone who’s whistling or cracking gum, or be reduced to tears by a particular sound I can’t escape.

Is misophonia a mental illness?

I didn’t go to medical school, obviously, so I can’t answer that question with any level of authority. For myself, though, I’d liken it to a compulsive disorder, a bit like health anxiety, for instance, which I also suffer from. I also find that my misophonia has strong links to anxiety; I’m not sure whether it’s the misophonia that causes anxiety, or whether my underlying anxiety causes misophonia, but I do think the two are connected in some way, and that treating one would quite possibly help treat the other. It’s how to actually DO that that’s the problem?

And that’s what it’s like to live with misophonia. I’ve been doing it for so long now that it was only a few weeks ago, when I read another blogger’s post about their own misophonia struggles (I’ve searched and searched, but I can’t for the life of me re-find that post, so if it was yours, let me know, so I can link you!), that it occurred to me that it might be something I should write about, if only in the hope that even one other person might read it and say, “It’s not just you, Amber: I think chewing gum in public should be punishable by death, too.”

Is that person you, by any chance? Because, if it is, you have NO idea how much I’d love to hear from you…

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COMMENTS
  • Gem

    REPLY

    OMG. This is my husband. I didn’t know it was an actual thing!

    His particular trigger is focused on the car; there’s a tiny rattle type noise if two internal panels don’t sit perfectly together and that noise I can barely hear drives him insane. We now always have a roll of anti friction tape in the car so he can fix the problem whenever it starts.

    July 18, 2018
  • Jennifer

    REPLY

    Oh my goodness, I have this too. My mother cracks her gum and whistles and it makes me absolutely enraged. To the point where I have to take breaks when I go to visit her. Other things get to me too, but the gum and whistling makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

    July 18, 2018
  • Hayley

    REPLY

    HELLO, KINDRED SPIRIT! We don’t have the all of same triggers, but GOSH, I have been up all night in tears because of the thumping bass from a house party down the street more than once. My personal nightmare sound is Other People Eating. I’m the anti-social person in the office who eats lunch at my desk rather than sit in the break room with everyone else and their chewing sounds. My father in law loves nothing more than to tell stories with his mouth full of food. Which he pauses to reload before continuing his story. I have been absolutely beside myself on occasion at family gatherings. I have a two month old baby now and I fervently hope that the gross food sounds she makes will somehow cure me, but I suspect that it just won’t be a trigger because it’s something I’ve chosen to expose myself to.
    You’re definitely not alone, and I’m weirdly thrilled to find somebody else who suffers through the same torture as me. No jury I sat on would convict you for murdering a public gum-snapper.

    July 18, 2018
      • Charleen

        REPLY

        This is exactly what I did two days ago when my new-ish neighbors were working on their house extension (the noise of the construction has no effect on me whatsoever) and the guys helping them had the radio on. It wasn’t even loud enough that I could tell you if a man or woman was talking on the radio or if the songs were being sung by a male or female voice but the ‘vibration’ or bass or whatever that NOISE is when you can’t quite hear the radio but you can hear *something* makes me feel totally anxious and like I cannot cope. I charged over there twice and asked them to turn it down (the first time) and off the second time and the worker refused which enraged me even more but when I asked my neighbor (who lives between me and the new-ish neighbors doing the extension) if it bothered her, she couldn’t even hear it! Same with my husband…he said if he really listened he could hear something but as soon as he moved he couldn’t hear anything. To me, it was like someone was holding a radio to my ear and NOTHING else could drown it out. It was agonising. I have since started wearing ear plugs to go out back and thankfully they take the NOISE away but it makes me feel sad. But at least I don’t wish awful things towards the new-ish neighbors anymore. Anyway, it was only when I was trying to find if there was a way to cope with noise on the internet that I stumbled upon misophonia and instantly I was like ‘Oh my gosh! IT’S REAL! THIS IS ME!’ You are not alone…and I’m relieved to know I’m not either (I just thought I was ‘difficult’ my whole life).

        April 9, 2023
  • I struggle enormously with wanting to rip my own eyelashes out – like deep, passionate, red-eyed rage – at the sounds of any of the following: slurping of soup, hot drinks or cereal (hearing it aroundnoodles weirdly doesn’t bother me as much, perhaps because it feels unavoidable? Or perhaps in that situation I’m doing it myself and don’t hear it?), people who like to click pens on and off, tinny music (especially headphone seep), thumping distant baselines, any sort of friction squeaking (polystyrene squeak literally hurts my teeth and makes me howl; the thought of it is making my back shudder), really loud gum-chewing (the popping isn’t quite as bad, but it’s still not great) and the cat’s claws getting caught in or pulling up anything. Visually I want to slap anyone picking at their face – particularly if they wiggle their fingers in their ears. Obvs we all do it, no doubt including me, but anyone doing it for a long time gets death rays.

    I also thought it was a comfort thing rather than A Thing and I am feeling hugely validated by this post. Because since it IS a thing, I diagnose myself because HELL YES DEATH TO THE NOISEMAKERS.

    July 18, 2018
  • Laura

    REPLY

    Chewing with open mouth. It is THE WORST. I will mentally punch anyone who does it. Also chewing hard candy, slurping, and sniffling (GET A TISSUE). I read about misophonia a few years back and it was a complete revelation.

    July 18, 2018
  • I have Misophonia too. Like you until a few years ago I thought I was just a horrible person, because what kind of a person feels like they want to harm their own family just because they are making a noise?? I was so relieved when I found out it was a genuine condition. For me it is mostly wet eating noises that affect me – chewing gum, teeth sucking and crunching crisps in particular, which can make mealtimes awkward – I feel so sorry for Dan because I’m convinced he is the loudest eater in the world and he probably is completely normal! Sometimes I just can’t bear it though and have to leave the room! There are a few other sounds, I completely get what you mean about the music, I had to move out of an apartment once because the neighbours constantly played music and I actually thought I was going to have a breakdown. I also for some reason absolutely cannot abide the sound of someone trying (and failing) to stifle giggles – it drives me to an absolute rage! And I can’t stand it when someone taps my arm or leg for attention – especially if they keep doing it over and over! It’s funny you mention about the visual aspects too – I have always been bothered by repetitive motion in my periphery too but never thought to connect the two. Dan has a habit at work of walking around in a circle to get his steps in while he was taking a phone call and I had to ask him not to do it near my desk (no, I don’t know why he is still with me either….!)

    July 18, 2018
    • Oh goodness, I forgot about the visual aspects! I was having dinner at a restaurant with my dad one evening. And maybe because it was empty except us, one of the waiters kept pacing the floor from the counter to the door, then back again over and over. I. Couldn’t. Bear. It. My dad didn’t get why it made me anxious and why I asked the guy to stop. The least of it was that it felt as if our not particularly private yet personal conversation was being eavesdropped.

      July 18, 2018
      • I sympathise so much! My ex quite obviously thought I was just being a complete drama queen but it made me so, so miserable. He was out a lot in the evenings and at weekends and I would end up finding every excuse I could not to go home and sit there alone trying to ignore it. I genuinely was concerned about my mental wellbeing by then end – it truly has the power to make you feel like you are going crazy. I am so thankful now that I’m with someone who trusts that I’m telling the truth when I explain how much things bother me and tries to do what he can to help reduce the anxiety – I must drive him mad with it but at least he understands!

        July 18, 2018
  • May

    REPLY

    I’m not sure I have misophonia exactly because my reactions don’t seem as strong, but there are most definitely tons of sounds I can’t stand: pen clicking, loud foot/finger tapping, any kind of oral sound (slurping, chewing, licking- that one to the point I can’t stand hearing my pets cleaning themselves), clock ticking… They either make me feel super nervous or disgust me so much I can’t keep hearing them. I’m most definitely the asshole that goes “can you PLEASE STOP THAT??” any time a classmate starts drumming on the table

    July 18, 2018
  • So it’s not just me. I hate repetitive clicking noises, beeps, tube drivers who keep yapping, one-sided cell phone conversations by people who tell you they’re “on the bus”, sudden screams and yells, sirens that just go off, people slurping their noodles (happens all the time in Japan), people licking their lips. And much, much more. Tinny noise escaping headphones doesn’t bother me too much, but when idiots insisted on playing their music through the speakers so the whole bus could hear… Distant basslines I can handle, but for a person who loves heavy rock I can’t stand music when it’s too loud.

    Living in London stressed the hell out of me, just the simple act of travelling across town and having to endure the constant noise. My partner remembers the time I yelled in terror because a police siren started out of nowhere as we walked past St. Pancras station. I do appreciate that’s a necessary noise, but can’t they build up gradually? That said, a certain amount of city hustle and bustle is manageable. But Glasgow is an oasis of calm compared to London!

    I used to work in a cafe which regularly had all kinds of noise going on at the same time – coffee machine, customers chatting, waitresses taking orders, dumb waiter door opening and slamming shut. I could handle that, but whenever the manager spoke to me I had to ask her to look at me when she did so I could separate her words from the din. So she would speak to me very, very slowly as if I were daft (I asked her if she would patronise a deaf person like that).

    Sea sounds and bird song for me, please.

    July 18, 2018
  • Myra

    REPLY

    Snap – all of the above and a few more. Literally decades ago when I was taking an exam and the invigilator who was walking up and down the rows was wearing squeaky shoes I thought I was going to scream. I put my hand up after a long time of counting every squeak on her alternate steps and couldn’t even read the questions never mind answer them. She agreed to stand still and just observe (she didn’t like my suggestion that she could take them off). In another undergraduate final exam where there were only about 20 students for that option they put us in a normal room and it was a really hot day so the windows were open. The grass was being cut outside, there was a loud meeting in an adjacent room and workmen drilling in another room. Everyone else was writing furiously. I just cried and begged to go anywhere else. Our lecturer who was also invigilatibg managed to get the meeting moved and the workmen stopped, thank goodness.
    The sock rubbing is horrendous, as us men jingling coins in their pockets – I could kill them for doing it near me. Misophonia with bells on!!!

    July 18, 2018
  • Oh dear, I really hope we never actually meet, I think I´d get told off for triggering you like 100 times. I am constantly in Motion, rubbing my feet or twirling my hair…

    Anne|Linda, Libra, Loca

    July 18, 2018
  • I am so glad I read this. I have suspected for a while I have this – I can’t be around someone eating cereal or gum, and I struggle to sit with the kids at dinner times sometimes because of the usual slurps and noises that don’t seem to bother my other half. I also get insanely irritated to the point I lose my shit if someone whistles around me and my eldest son does this strange yodelling noise that I cannot stand. It is interesting that there is a visual one because I know for sure I have that – my partner taps his feet and jiggles his legs about and it usually means I have to go and sit elsewhere because it enrages me that much. I don;t feel quite so strange now!

    July 18, 2018
  • I feel you so much right now – I have misophonia as well. Well, I have Tourettes and most people with tourettes also tend to get misophonia, so yeah, I just can’t win.
    But that aside, you’re not alone. It can be music that’s too soft, chewing, the rustle of a skirt, someone breathing! It’s a tough one to live with, so I’m glad that you feel so comfortable sharing this with us and helping raise awareness xx

    July 18, 2018
      • Myra Boyle

        REPLY

        I am really sensitive to light as well and need to protect my eyes, I did look really stupid though when my reactive lenses went dark in the least bit of light lol

        July 18, 2018
      • Jenna

        REPLY

        I’m not terribly sure about the link between misophonia and other conditions, but light sensitivity and sensitivity to the buzzing noise some lights make is linked to autism, asbergers and other such conditions. Often in special education classrooms in the US, the instructor will alter the color of the lights to help make them not so bright. I personally can’t stand bright artificial lights, especially fluorescent lights and the energy-saving bulbs that are out nowadays….They tend to buzz and emit a bright blue-ish color (as opposed to a soft yellow). Though most people I know can’t seem to hear the buzz? It’s such an issue for me in fact, that when my husband was building our house, he put dimmers on all the lights and we used wall sconces to avoid direct overhead lighting. We also put tons of windows in the house to allow for the most advantage for natural light. But you’ve got me curious as to if sound and light sensitivity are connected? Ticking clocks drive me crazy and so does when my husband listens to music on his iPad (the speakers are horrendous) and I usually find leave the house (take the dog out, run an errand) whenever he plays music through his iPad. Thankfully, it’s not that often.

        July 19, 2018
  • Floor

    REPLY

    Gum doesn’t bother me, but does other people’s breathing count too? :s
    I work in an open office these days. I wear heavy headphones without music on them on busy days. Also, totally moving next month bc the store below my apartment has a cooling installation that vents all day and night. Audibly. Even in my bedroom on the top floor.

    July 18, 2018
  • One of the nicest things about being on maternity leave is not having to hear other people eating at their desks around me – especially crisps, rice cakes, apples etc… I’d send emails to the other manager going ‘argh I’m going to have to leave the room if that noise doesn’t stop’ and she hadn’t even noticed it. The worst is commuting though – it’s a tin can full of people designed to torture you with annoying sounds – the worst of which is people picking their nails. I’ve sat there and pointedly put my fingers in my ears next to someone doing that (they always pretend not to notice).

    I literally just had a conversation with my husband that started ‘the bad thing about you working from home is having to listen to you eating crisps three times a day’… (Why is he so obsessed wth crisps anyway and how has he stayed slim?!)

    I don’t react as strongly to quite as many things as you list but I think a lot of us have this condition to a degree. So it seems weird it’s so little discussed or understood!

    July 18, 2018
  • Lynsey

    REPLY

    I didn’t know this was an actual thing! I though I was just really irratable and well, a total cow! ? skin/scab picking is the worst! And I live with a picker, to the point where he bleeds. If he keeps doing it, which he often does I have to leave the room or close my eye and reach over and hit his arm. (We’re at work and I just threw a pen at him for it)
    Feet! Also have to shut my eyes or leave
    Tinny sounding music, can’t even cope, I have to leave ask them to stop, it makes my skin crawl.
    Hair/eyebrows being brushed the wrong way, my friend all make fun of it but it makes me feel physically sick.
    People eating loudly, apples, gum…..slurping (I’m actually making myself feel really horrid right now)
    WHISTLING! Shouldn’t be allowed! It’s rediculous and makes me want to stick things in my ears and eyes.
    Lynsey xxx

    July 18, 2018
  • This is so interesting. My husband has always had certain sounds that he just can’t tolerate. Barking dogs is the worst one. Not a dog that barks a bit normally but the barking that just never ends. Also, pen-clicking, fingernail biting, and words used repetitively such as “like” or “you know”. He actually had to walk out of a meeting a few weeks ago because the speaker kept saying “you know.” I never knew there was an actual name for this.

    July 18, 2018
  • Alexa

    REPLY

    Yep, I definitely suffer from this too. For me, the triggers are generally any kind of repetitive clicking, tapping, crunching, smacking, chewing, slurping, snuffling or rustling sound – typing on keyboards, taps dripping, pen clicking, gum chewing, sniffing, etc. – and I also have the same visual triggers as you do. And oh dear me, second-hand music is excruciating – whether it’s the thumping bass line from next door, or the tinny overspill from someone’s headphones. Whispering, children’s voices (they’re so loud and high-pitched), and the sounds my husband makes as he breathes when asleep also set me off. You are not alone!

    July 18, 2018
  • MG

    REPLY

    I have known for years that I’ve got misophonia, since when I read about it. Some sounds just make me want to cry from frustration and disgust and I have to leave the room, that’s how much they disgust me. Some other sounds are just annoying. I’ve had some of these since I was a baby, and the visual misophonia too.
    I HATE people chewing loudly with their mouths open: just take smaller bites of food and maybe talk when you’re done chewing, it’s not nice to see your half eaten food spitted everywhere as you talk! Also, people chewing gum: do they have to do it open mouthed? Sometimes on the bus I can hear a person chew from the other end of the bus: a ten meters long bus. I refuse to think that it’s just because I have super good hearing (but I really do, lucky me), it’s the person who should, you know, just stop chewing so loudly the entire bus can hear it…
    It’s weird, some sounds have stopped bothering me so much with time, some other don’t bother me all the time (I don’t mind a group of people all chewing together, maybe because that’s expected, but when it’s a single person eating lunch on a bus, I feel hopeless, maybe because I can’t technically escape?). I have some coping mechanisms: I always have my mp4 and headphones with me, that helps. Or I just stand and get away from the noise, if I can.
    The sounds that enrage me the most are people smacking lips all. the. time when they’re talking: like, do you really have to do that all the time? Is it really necessary? But that bothers me only if it’s a video or a podcast. In real life? Smacking lips I don’t even notice. If I do, it means the person is doing it so often and so loudly no-misophone people find it annoying too.
    Other, lesser triggers are ticking watches (I can’t concentrate with ticking), TV sounds in the background when no one is watching it (feels like a waste to me), people doing obsessive repetitive movements (twirling hair, fingers rubbing together, basically every movement that is repeated ad nauseam for hours on end). These I find annoying, so I don’t know if they’re linked to my misophonia.
    Other sounds that drive me crazy are picking nails, people biting their fingers or sucking them or generally people with their fingers in their mouths (that can’t be hygienic if you’re on the tube). These are the kind of sounds that really stress me out, make my anxiety levels skyrocket and, if done repetitively, can bring me to almost cry out of frustration. I don’t think I’ve ever had the impulse to hurt someone, but I sure have had the impulse to just yell at them to stop.
    It’s not easy living with misophonia, people can get mad at you if you ask them to stop doing something all the time, especially if it’s something they do all the time without thinking, like picking nails and picking their nose. But with time I’ve devised many coping mechanisms and I’ve even overcome a bit some of my worst pet peeves.

    July 18, 2018
      • Jennarose McKee

        REPLY

        I wonder this also because the same thing happens to me. I seem to hear everything and others won’t until they concentrate on it.

        May 29, 2019
  • Nicole

    REPLY

    Whistling is by far the worst for me, but another top contender is PEOPLE CLIPPING THEIR FINGERNAILS ON PUBLIC TRANSIT! You would not think it would be so common, but when I was taking the train every day at least a few times a week I’d hear the telltale snip snip sound coming from a few rows away. It was rough because the sound is sharp and loud enough to be heard even through my headphones.

    July 18, 2018
  • Amber DeSadier

    REPLY

    Honey. I am so glad you got your diagnosis. They give peace of mind that you aren’t being crazy. I have Trypophobia which is a phobia of irregular patterns or clusters of small holes or bumps. I get super squicked out by irregular holes. Like I run the other way as fast as possible. I feel fear and deep in my belly weird and anxious. I never know when it will strike. I am still learning what triggers it for me.

    Sadly there is no official diagnosis for it yet as it hasn’t really been studied. Even the word is more of an adopted name for this. Not going to lie, phobias suck.

    July 18, 2018
  • Tess

    REPLY

    My understanding of misophonia (as a medic, though not specifically a psych) is that it’s quite often linked to anxiety. As I’m sure you know through experience, anxiety means you’re much more often in that “fight or flight” mode anyhow, and as such are more aware and responsive to triggers – social, noise, light, smells, perceived danger… All of them. Though there’s no cure for misophonia per se, addressing anxiety can help to lessen how much it affects you day-to-day. Obviously this is a conversation for your psych team and I’m certainly not trying to internet-diagnose. But doubling down on anxiety – meds, CBT or whatever may work for you, might well have the added bonus effect of helping out with this too. Good luck!

    July 18, 2018
  • Lila

    REPLY

    It means the hatred of noise in Greek ?

    Where someone with anxiety will focus in on any noise and it will make them feel so highly irritated that their blood pressure will go through the roof ?

    I live with two noisy eaters, I never eat in their vicinity, I still them on every occasion to stop being so noisy but with them it is just how they eat and so it will only quieten for a little while then just go back to how it was ?
    We have a carpet rubber in our family, one single movement is sufficient for me to explode ?

    Other sounds that bothet me, soup and drink slurping ? someone eating a banana ? and the slightest lick of a finger ? why ?
    I do find it easier if there is other noise to cover the noises that irritate me, like TV, but visual accompaniments can still be left to see ?
    My children have lived with me being irritated from the day they were born and can sometimes tease me, but thankfully they are adults now, and it is mostly just my husband who can drive me mad ?

    July 18, 2018
    • Myra Boyle

      REPLY

      I turn the tv on too when my husband is eating or doing other things that annoy me. It blocks the sounds out.

      July 20, 2018
    • Jennarose McKee

      REPLY

      I also have to turn on the TV when my husband is eating. It drives me absolutely crazy to hear people chewing.

      May 29, 2019
  • Anna

    REPLY

    I have this condition too! Well, I have Aspergers and ADHD, and most people with those conditions have misophonia as a symptom. I have so many of the same triggers as you do, especially bass thumping and whistling. I’ve known about it for years, but I actually had no idea visual triggers were a thing–until now, I never really made the connection between my misophonia and the panicked feeling I get when someone jiggles their leg or twiddles their thumbs, but it makes a lot of sense! (The leg jiggling thing makes me feel like a hypocrite, though, because like I said, I have ADHD, so I tend to jiggle my leg, especially when I’m overwhelmed by noise/visual triggers. Which can lead to things like me jiggling my leg because I’m so fed up with the person next to me jiggling their leg…)

    I’m really glad you shared this. Even though I know a lot of people have this condition, it’s always a relief to be reminded I’m not the only one!

    July 18, 2018
  • Gum doesn’t bother me, but the sound of TV from another room or a baseline in the distance will drive me mad. I go to bed before my partner every night and keep two fans on in my room in order to drown out even the hint of the tv sound. Otherwise, I lay there and boil in my hatred for a person I typically love.
    In one of my college classes, a fellow student was giving a presentation and was taking her heel in and out of her clogs for the entire thing. It drove me mad!
    I don’t think I have misophonia, but I do agree that some avoidable sounds/movements should be punishable by death. Especially keeping a TV on quietly in another room.

    July 18, 2018
  • Nicola

    REPLY

    I totally get this! I cannot eat with other people because certain sounds make me want to pull my face off. The worst is cutlery scraping on teeth, which I physically cannot stand and have to leave the room if I hear it. For some reason a fork is the absolute worst, then a spoon. Also slurping from a spoon. And the sound of my husband fussing his teeth has me with my fingers in my ears under the covers until it’s over. I can’t tolerate these sounds at all and they hurt my ears. I just thought everyone making these sounds has disgusting habits but maybe it’s me and I have a bit of this too!

    July 18, 2018
    • Jennarose McKee

      REPLY

      I have these exact same responses! I just thought I was weird but something about the noises makes me literally want to run from the room.

      May 29, 2019
  • ML

    REPLY

    Oh yes, I belong to that club too. I cannot stand people chewing loudly, gulping while drinking, scraping teeth on eating utensils, people cracking their hands, fingers, gum popping, people clicking their nails on something, clipping nails, people rubbing anything that makes noise (pants, fabric, etc.) I feel badly about getting irritated and wanting to get away from anyone making these noises, but people who don’t have this thing really don’t get it. High strung, highly sensitive people seem to be more afflicted by this than others. It’s nice to know it’s a real thing and not just being “overly-sensitive.”

    July 18, 2018
  • Sally

    REPLY

    A friend was kind enough to pick me up from the airport. He was chewing gum. After 5 minutes I literally screamed “If you don’t stop chewing gum I’m going to hit you!” It was a frosty ride after that but yes, I would have hit him. I didn’t know this was a real thing, I thought it was just me.

    July 18, 2018
  • Em

    REPLY

    Add me to your list. Mine is mostly people eating loudly, I occasionally have to leave the room when my husband eats because he is so loud. Argh

    July 18, 2018
  • Myra Boyle

    REPLY

    Epiphany – just watching Victoria Derbyshire talking about pupil referral units working with children with behavioural issues. One little boy had to escape the classroom with only four pupils because of noise. He obviously has misophonia and knew what he had to do to relieve his obvious stress. The workers thought he had calmed down because they had distracted him, which is often used as a strategy, but it was because they took him to the empty (hence quiet library).

    July 19, 2018
  • Diana

    REPLY

    I’m in total shock, Amber! Up until now I thought that I’m the only weird person who can’t stand certain things to the point that I’m in wild rage in just few minutes. Like the noise of someone eating – open or closed mouth, it doesn’t matter, the sound of the teeth chewing together drives me crazy. And the music… let’s just say that I have had few episodes of total rage against people with their loud music which I can hear through the walls.
    Your post is a lot more than a story for a condition you have. You gave the explanation for my weird reactions.

    July 19, 2018
  • Jean

    REPLY

    What’s the name for when one hasn’t heard of a condition and then within the space of a month finds two different written accounts of the condition?

    While not misophonia, I read a (comic) book by John Porcellino in which he recounts the onset and diagnosis of hyperacusis…..they two sound a lot alike.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperacusis

    July 19, 2018
  • Jenna

    REPLY

    Oh my goodness, I’m just also realizing that when I had anxiety attacks as a child in school, it usually occurred when we were doing “silent work” in the classroom. And I remember hearing everything amplified. Like I could hear every single pencil writing on paper, or the teacher opening her desk drawer or the clack of heels as someone walked past in the hallway. It was SO LOUD. It also physically hurt and I would usually silently cry and not move an inch. Sometimes the teachers would become so frustrated that they would pick me up and carry me down to the principal’s office, which was just as bad because I could hear the rustling of their skirt and clacking of their heels and the sounds of voices come and go as we walked by the other classrooms. In hindsight, I can kind of giggle at the whole thing. What must’ve people thought as a teacher carried an extremely calm-looking eight year old covering her ears and closing her eyes across the school? People just didn’t know or think about kids having anxiety attacks at the time and in the place I grew up, so I hold no ill will towards any of the teachers or anyone at the school. It’s interesting to note, that I now know my anxiety is high when sounds and lights are really bothering me more than usual and that’s one way I try to keep it in check. As I mentioned earlier, only some sounds really bother me still (more when I’m more anxious), but lights continue to plague me.

    July 19, 2018
  • Lee Anne

    REPLY

    Oh God yes!

    My husband has to eat pasta in the other room- the hell away from me!!

    Also- heavy breathing, sniffing, someone rubbing the arm of a chair, even someone licking their lips!

    I have put the cat in the other room for cleaning himself in what most would consider silence but nope, I can hear it.

    I also perpetually wish I worked from home as there are 2 people at work who sound like they’re using an actual hammer on their keyboards. Older people- dunno if they are used to rickety old tryewriters where they had to hammer the keys ??

    I- no kidding- feel like vomiting when I hear it then murdering them with a soup spoon and even Rage against the Machine or Iron Maiden cannot distract me from it. I don’t have tinny earphones though. They’re pretty silent unless they’re in your ears. Luckily.

    But yes- have it. Its torture. And my cousin has it as well and we’re proud to be assholes!! Haha.

    July 20, 2018
  • Mairik

    REPLY

    Wow – I thought this was just me. Perhaps hyper-sensitive hearing, or being a really light sleeper – I just can’t with repetitive noise(s) like thumping baselines or just-on-the-edge-of-my-hearing aircon or similar; it’s like torture. This week some Air BnBers on our street in Edinburgh had a party with boom-ba-bah-boom music till 3 in the morning and I honestly got to a point where I was fantasising about going round there with a sledgehammer and doing some damage. (I didn’t, I hasten to add, although I did phone the police and the police did come and stop them).
    For me I think part of this anxiety is because the world seems to be becoming a horrible place where people do things like that 3am weeknight wild parties or playing stuff on their phones in, say, the quiet coach of a train with no headphones (what is that about?)?
    On the other hand (top marks for coherence for me here) I am now wondering about sensory stimulation and anxiety… Sensory (over) stimulation is an issue for people with autistic spectrum disorders and some other ‘special needs’ issues. It never occured to me before but some anxiety triggers I’ve experienced are to do with situations featuring noise/light/touch etc… Hmmm….

    July 21, 2018
  • Erik

    REPLY

    So glad to know I’m not the only one who suffers from this. Gum popping or anything to do with the sound of saliva does it. The flow of liquid on a small scale is the worst – like filling a glass/cup of water makes me want to go violent. The other irritants are some types of computer keyboard typing, paper being rustled (including page turning) and recordings of over-amplified footsteps in nature settings such as leaves and brush.

    Radio 4 and NPR (like Radio 4) are the worst media offenders of all of these. They think they’re being so cleaver by starting human-interest stories with “ambient” sounds which frequently involves the pouring/flowing of water or footsteps in nature. Seriously. I have to switch temporarily to a top 40 station when they do that.

    July 21, 2018
  • Decca

    REPLY

    My parents have this and I have it to a certain extent. My mum’s triggers are slurping, sniffing, grinding teeth, and tinny music, my dad’s are children whining and babies crying to name but a few. Mine are drippy noises (taps, leaky showers,) tinny music, distant basslines, tuneless whistling, and whinging/whining.

    My mum can’t listen to people eat cereal or soup, and if someone has a cold and keeps sniffing she has a desperate urge to tell them to blow their nose.

    A few nights ago I could not sleep because there was a mysterious dripping noise somewhere in the house and I could not find it. I did a raging circuit several times around the house and tightened all the taps and it didn’t make a difference. I have an 8 month old baby so every wink of sleep I get is precious and I was frazzled after that night. I still don’t know what it was but thankfully it’s stopped.

    Children whining is a huge issue for me. Asking a question or expressing a need is fine, but whining is not. I have to leave the playground or shop or wherever to get away from it. It’s very similar to my dad’s trigger. He’s ok with a baby crying if he can soothe the baby but if it’s a stranger in a supermarket with a wailing baby that he has no influence over he will abandon his shopping and leave the store completely to get away from the sound.

    July 24, 2018
  • Laura

    REPLY

    I suffer with it badly. Knuckles cracking, foot tapping, chewing with mouth open, speakers in cars driving past, hearing the neighbours, etc etc.

    My husband doesn’t get it and tells me just to ignore it its not that loud… but literally my blood pressure rises and sometimes I want to cry the noises are too much. I hope soon it will be more recognised.

    August 4, 2018
  • Cassidy

    REPLY

    I’ve never read something that has put it so well. I’ve struggled with this since I was a child and my parents used to get REALLY upset with me when I wouldn’t be able to contain my frustration at the sound of my dad’s jaw cracking/chewing sounds when he eats or the sound of him rubbing his feet together on the couch. Another really bad one is the sound of utensils on plates. And any low rumbly sounds; distance bass sounds, people with low voices talking under the sound of the music I’m listening to in headphones, or whispering is really really REALLY bad. It sounds so crazy (and stupid) to anyone who doesn’t understand. I swear the only way I get through a day at work (where my coworker eating in the cubical beside me sounds like shes smacking and chewing on cement I swear I don’t understand how anyone eats that LOUD) is by wearing headphones and listening to music loudly enough to drown out all other sounds. Hopefully it doesn’t piss anybody off if they hear any headphone bleeding but sometimes I need to be selfish for myself so I don’t rip someone’s head off (figuratively of course). I struggle to get people to believe me/understand still; how did you get your husband on board? My boyfriend just doesn’t understand as much as he may try – he probably wouldn’t agree to move due to neighbour noises…

    November 19, 2018
  • Olga

    REPLY

    I do not suffer from misophonia, but I generally dislike noise. To me, the absolute worse noise is dog barking, I hate it. I have always had dogs myself, but I have made the effort to control/manage/educate them so they do not bark or annoy anyone. Nothing worse than people that keep dogs and allow them to bark, bark, bark. It’s inconsiderate to neighbours and, besides, it generally means they are lousy dog owners: they do not exercise them enough, do not provide them with enough stimulation, company, can’t manage them, etc.

    November 30, 2018
  • Olga

    REPLY

    And how I have solved a barking problem twice: send a nice anonimous letter asking to stop the barking, if no results, send a 2nd letter and threat with action(s), if no results, make a plan and ACT!

    November 30, 2018
  • Nate

    REPLY

    I love that I found this because it’s such a great way for me to explain to other people that I’m not just a jerk. I live with misophonia and it absolutely sucks. The worst triggers for me are crunchy foods, slurping, chalk, squeaky pencils, etc. I’ve been to many different doctors and it’s amazing how little is known about this.
    Anyway, thanks for the blog.

    February 21, 2019
  • Abbie

    REPLY

    This blog is amazing! Just recently my mom found a news article on Misophonia and I was like that is totally what I have! I’m at 17 and for the longest time I thought that it was just me being a teenage girl with hormones. I would get mad at my little brother who has ADHD and has ticks that he does nonstop and on repeat. I can’t tell him to stop because he physically can’t. It’s so hard because my mom gets mad at me for getting mad at him. She just doesn’t understand that the things he does whether making noises or doing something with his head makes me want to pull all of my hairs out. I need help dealing with this! Do you have an suggestions? I can’t wear ear plugs because my mom thinks its rude to not listen to people. My parents also don’t realize that they make some of the noises that trigger me too! ugh. What do I do to make them understand?

    April 1, 2019
  • Abbie

    REPLY

    I had an encounter in class the other day of this. A boy kept clearing his throat but it was one of those really deep ones. It drove me nuts! I had to just stick some earphones in and little to music the rest of the class. At the end I asked my friend if she noticed that a boy kept clearing his throat. She told me that she didn’t hear it at all. It was so weird because I was seriously going to kill him but she was perfectly fine and didn’t notice it at all.

    April 1, 2019
  • Hello from the Czech Republic 🙂 Thank you for writing about misophony. It has been bothering me for years and I had no idea that it was a diagnosis. It is very good to know that I am not alone in this and some people experience the same thing.

    June 10, 2019
  • Kristen

    REPLY

    I have this. My main trigger is kissing (audial and visual), but I am also triggered by loud chewing and smacking. And the worst part of my discovery was when I told my family. I had already known that those sounds set me off for years and had informed my family of it, but when I finally looked it up and shared with them that it was an actual condition, they didn’t even believe me (HUH?). They also probably just thought I was being an ass for no reason.

    June 25, 2019
  • Katie

    REPLY

    This was SO nice to hear from another person. I’ve been diagnosed with Misophonia for years now but still have yet to encounter someone else who actually has it. My trigger noise is eating. If somebody near me is eating, I am raging! I swear I have a sixth sense for hearing people eating, even if they’re another room over and the door is closed, you bet I can hear them smacking their food. I’ve had so many tearful nights due to the seemingly never ending chewing noises. It’s gotten to the point that I no longer eat with my family, but instead in another room in the house because I can’t stand the noise. The lack of a cure has been leaving me feeling extremely frustrated and I am actually going into college to study psychology and *hopefully* do a study on Misophonia to try and get some more answers! Again, great hearing from another person about this issue.

    July 7, 2019
  • Eva

    REPLY

    I basically forced my husband to move out of town to a cottage in the middle of nowhere (thank God, we both have options to work remotely), because I was literally losing my mind in the city with all the constant noise seeping in from the neighboring apartments and the street. I was miserable for years, and developed severe anxiety to the point I had panic attacks from the mere thought of my neighbors listening to their shitty radio all night AGAIN. I’m pretty sure my husband doesn’t fully get how bad it was for me. But I am so much happier now. And I am surprised to see so many people in the comments sharing similar experiences – it’s nice to feel like you are not some freak of nature 😀

    November 7, 2019
  • Lia

    REPLY

    Hi! I also have misophonia, most directly related to gum. It’s so bad that even seeing it on the TV makes me experience an intense feel of dread. Because my misophonia has evolved to encompass the site trigger of gum and even the smell, it can be pretty unavoidable. I’m curious if anyone has had success with therapy?

    July 7, 2020
  • Mike

    REPLY

    Thanks for the post. Very cathartic to hear from other sufferers.

    Mine (instant rage) is people who mindlessly whistle. Rage=function of (volume, frequency, tunelessness). My brother in law is literally the worst person i’ve ever met for needing to fill an empty quiet space with whistling and tapping (tiny excerpts from songs that he had just heard on the radio or was otherwise inspired to share with others in the room).

    I’ve now suffered 8 years with his company (which i otherwise enjoy). I’ve not said anything because the visits have been limited to a couple of days. We just had a baby and he’s down for a couple weeks which means I may finally have to broach the subject with him.

    I’m an economist and we have a term called “externalities”. These are the spinoff (either positive or, more usually negative) effects of someone’s decision (e.g. pollution from a production practice). Externalities are inconsiderate and harm others, that’s why we have things like carbon taxes (or laws against murder) to make individuals consider these external effects on others.

    Whistlers (tappers, hummers) are externalities. They are forcing us to hear the songs stuck in their heads. HOW TO CORRECT THEM?! THEY JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND.

    Anyhoo, as many of you i hate the condition and feel embarrassed at myself. On the other hand, many people suck and there are 7.5 billion of us now.

    Please stop whistling. You’re hurting others 🙂

    April 29, 2021
  • Elaine

    REPLY

    My husband is a chronic thumb twiddled. It is non stop. If his hands aren’t together, he takes turns with each thumb twirling them like a helicopter. He also chews on his bottom lip non stop. I’m going insane! The worst of it is he has been diagnosed with cancer and I am the caregiver. I don’t know if I can do this. I literally become a nervous wreck.

    August 3, 2021
  • Vicki

    REPLY

    So good to know I’m not alone. One of my friends clicks her tongue piercing against her teeth which drives me potty and anyone whistling within a 5 mile radius of me risks my death stare! And that thumping baseline, I nearly went insane living in halls for a year at university hearing the noise of people all around me, I would go home just to sleep at the weekends. Imagine all these people making noises with no awareness or the impact they are having and the murderous thoughts of strangers nearby…

    September 18, 2021
  • Tracy

    REPLY

    I’ve known I’ve SUFFERED with Miso for a while now. It’s comorbid to my adult ADHD & CPTSD. The latter 2 I’ve been in treatment for one way or another since the age of 19. Honestly, what probably effects my life most lately is Miso. I’m currently traveling for work & that means hotels. Absolute torture. I always ask to be placed on the upper floor, but I still am angered beyond measure by the steady stream of thuds, footsteps, neighbors talking, TVs, footsteps, creaking, doors, water running through the walls, sound of rolling luggage, kids running in halls……it’s now 4 am & not one wink of sleep. It’s Friday night & with that comes the arrive in late/up all night/TV on weekenders…..they are all around me. Breaking out the ear buds & brown noise app.
    In addition to all the sounds mentioned by others, add: whispering in my vicinity, over pronounced “Ps” & “Ss”…particularly in an overheard whisper & the sound of a straw being moved up & down in plastic drink cup like you get from fast food joints.
    Maybe one day medical treatment will be our saving grace. Until then, asshole on my fellow sufferers.

    January 14, 2023
  • E.L.M.

    REPLY

    Right now I am plotting the demise of whoever is playing the music with the bass down the street. And also the moron who keeps revving his motorcycle since it’s a beautiful spring evening. Justifiable homicide I am certain. Love this article and the comments. Nice to feel a bit of understanding after 51 years of life, truly. The list of things I can’t handle is unfortunately very long. When I was younger I had an extremely difficult time controlling my reactions to these things (rage is exactly the right word). Now I just spend as much time as possible alone engaging in self-soothing tactics. But since I can’t afford a private island filled with quiet people, the noises are unavoidable. And the visuals. And certain smells. I’m going to go get some wine and a brownie now to help pass the time till the infernal bass stops. Blessings, kindred spirits.

    May 20, 2023
  • Jena Naber

    REPLY

    Thank you so much for writing this. For so long I thought I was just an asshole and picky about sounds, smells, other things that people do that I found annoying. I have tried to explain this issue and told others about Miso so they might understand me more. Most think I am making it up and tell me to just get over it. I wish I could. I wish I didn’t get rage when someone popped their gum or I could hear someone else’s music from another room. It’s a hard way to live. I use ear plugs, headphones and try to be alone most of the time. It’s much easier to be alone that have to deal with people not understanding and telling me to get over it.

    November 24, 2023
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