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In other, non health-related news…

Posted on 20 Comments 4 min read

Remember earlier this year, when I went on holiday, filmed some of the Best! GoPro Footage! Ever! … and then Terry lost the memory card down the side of my parents’ couch – or so we assumed?

(If you don’t remember any of this, you might want to have a quick read of this post, just to give you some context, and also to fully confirm my status as The Craziest Blogger Who Ever Crazied. I mean, I know that whole, ‘I have health anxiety, and I’m never going to stop talking about it‘ post probably did that already, but seeing as we’re being honest with each other, you may as well know that problems don’t necessarily have to be life-threatening ones for me to lose my tiny mind over them…)

Christmas themed cakesAnyway! The TL:DR of all of this is that the memory card was lost, my parents house was ransacked in the ensuing search for it, and the couch was – quite literally – turned upside down, and thoroughly investigated. If it wasn’t illegal to torture suspects, I’m honestly not sure where this would all have ended, but as it was, after several long hours of searching, during which the couch resolutely refused to give up its secrets, we were forced to admit defeat, and accept that the card probably wasn’t in there, and that we’d lost precious, precious memories, which could never be replaced. (OK, yes, I AM exaggerating now, but only to make myself seem slightly less crazy than I already do.)

That was 8 months ago. You’d think I’d be over it by now, but you’d be wrong about that, because I have NEVER gotten over the loss of that memory card: I mentioned it just a few weeks ago, in fact. (Er, I should probably say here that I’m in no way comparing this to my current situation, obviously: it’s just that you have to change the subject at SOME point, don’t you?) So, fast-forward to yesterday afternoon. Terry and I had gone to the hospital for the first round of blood tests following my Methotrexate injection, and my parents, feeling somewhat helpless in the face of all of the relentless misery (One of the worst things about all of this for me has been the knowledge that I’ve put my family and friends through hell this week. I’m thinking I might have to re-consider those bath bombs I was planning to get them all for Christmas…), did the only thing you really can do under such circumstances: they systematically ripped their couch apart.

(Well, what would YOU have done if your kid had an ectopic pregnancy, I ask you? If your mind DIDN’T just go straight to ‘couch destruction’, I just… I don’t even understand you AT ALL…)

Now, as I said, the couch had already been taken apart to some extent on the evening of The Incident, but this time my dad really went to town on it. He quite literally deconstructed the thing, piece by piece (Ha! Not feeling so clever NOW, couch, are you?!), and would you look at what he found:

Miracle memory cardIT’S ONLY MY FREAKING MEMORY CARD, PEOPLE! Which had been buried so deeply inside the inner workings of the couch that we would have had no chance of retrieving it had the couch not been completely taken apart in the process.

(The couch, by the way, has had reconstructive surgery, which was pronounced a success. It’s now resting comfortably, and is expected to make a complete recovery. I will send it some flowers once I’ve fully worked through the resentment…)

I haven’t looked at the contents of the card yet: partly because it’s still at my parent’s place, where it’s being kept under close observation  (my dad has a cold right now, and as the methotrexate lowers my immune system, I can’t be around people with any kind of illness I could catch), partly because I’m terrified it will end up being totally blank now, but also because I’m actually finding it quite hard even to look at photos from last WEEK without thinking, ‘Oh, you sweet summer child, smiling away as if everything was going to be A-OK…’

But, of course, everything still COULD be A-OK. And although this little bit of good news is a small thing in the great scheme of things, it is, nevertheless, the first piece of good news I’ve had in several long months now, and, as stupid as it might sound, I’m taking it as a sign of good things to come.

In other words, we’ve found the final Horcrux, folks. And 2016? Your reign of terror can’t possibly last forever…

What do you think?

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  • CiCi Marie
    December 1, 2016

    I can’t believe the memory card turned up IN the sofa!! But if that isn’t a good omen… 😀 (well, maybe not so good for the sofa, but you know…)

  • Erin
    December 1, 2016

    That’s some serious dedication on your parents part! I would have assumed all was lost. Hoping good things for the contents on the card, and also hoping it is a freaking omen that this year is going to go away forever, and 2017 (somehow, even with DT as president) will be MUCH better for everyone.

  • The Other Emma
    December 1, 2016

    Every little thing is a help! Plus those cakes look delicious, I hope they tasted as good as they looked!

  • Elaine
    December 1, 2016

    Oh thats so funny. I share the frustration at losing important things or even unimportant things in my case. I can spend hours looking for things that have disappeared as they’ve got to be somewhere and I hate the mystery! Glad you found it anyway and good luck on Saturday xxx

  • Myra
    December 1, 2016

    Lost things always seem to turn up when you least expect it. Your parents are amazing, thinking about one thing that would brighten your day, was to find this tiny little thing. And they did, although I’m glad they didn’t have to sacrifice the couch (even though it would have served it right for hiding your precious card for so long).
    The cakes look yummy, hope you shared them with Terry.

  • Helen
    December 1, 2016

    Great news….. after a very long search!!!! I cannot wait until you share what was actually on the memory card! Hope the couch has been reconstructed again. Take care of yourself…. hope you make a full and quick recovery. Sending love xxx

  • Karlie
    December 1, 2016

    I understand. I tore a car seat apart as it was going to be crushed to find a earring I had dropped. It was one from a very nice set my husband had given to me; I even sent a note with the car for whoever took out all the good stuff before it was crushed. 10 month later they called and it was found under the back seat, I dropped it in the front how did it get in the back? We will never know but that car did have a habit of eating things and spitting them out later. Sometimes when things are not going well even just small things going right helps.

  • Barbara West
    December 1, 2016

    Oh, hurray!

  • Charmaine Ng
    December 1, 2016

    This is great news! A great reason to cheer up. Things are never as bad as they seem. You can do it! 🙂
    – Charmaine

  • last year's girl
    December 1, 2016

    I’d wait for the couch to send YOU flowers first, I think you’re due them!


    • Amber
      December 1, 2016

      That’s a very good point – I think that couch owes me more than a memory card ?

  • Leah
    December 1, 2016

    We’ve found the final horcrux ???

  • Tracey
    December 2, 2016

    Praise the sweet baby cheeses!

  • Miss Kitty
    December 2, 2016

    Haha just as well it was there – imagine if your dad took the couch to pieces and STILL didn’t find it ? Glad it’s found, hopefully the photos are intact, and crossing my fingers for Saturday <3

  • Rotem
    December 2, 2016

    No way! How awesome 🙂 Hope this really is a good omen and the beginning of better news

  • Fashion and Frappes
    December 2, 2016

    I have the silliest situation. My phone is lost. Except that I know its in my flat and I cant find it. And this isn’t a 4 bedroom mansion – a tiny one-bed London flat. And I can’t find my phone in it. I hope this story made everyone else who has lost anything feel better (and less dumb.)

  • Viridiana
    December 2, 2016

    Good news! Couches, in my experience, are always very hungry, they eat things and they refuse to let them go. My older couch owes my an earring that i’m sure fell between the cushions but not matter how much search and tear apart I did, was never released… So i’m glad your parents have success extracting the memory card from the vicious thing!
    Best wishes for tomorrow.

  • Heather
    December 3, 2016

    Omgosh you have the best parents! I’m so happy they found the memory card ? it’s like you are part of the famous fives mysteries that didn’t make the book ?

  • Denise
    December 3, 2016

    Wonderful – a little positive thing that cheers you up in the middle of this awful scary time is just great. Cling onto those and the support of your family.

  • Deanna
    December 3, 2016

    Yay! You found the memory card! Your dad ROCKS!!!!