Should you ask a friend why they unfollowed you on Instagram? (And other questions from Google)
Sometimes I like to look at the questions people type into Google, which lead them to my blog.
Not ALL the time, you understand. I mean, a lot of the time it’s just weird stuff about whether redheads have souls, what to do if you have the misfortune to give birth to a redheaded baby , and other nonsense from the redhead HATRZ. (My personal favourite was, ‘Why do ginger people smell of week?” I never did find out the answer to that one, actually. And now we’ll never know…) Anyway, it’s been a while since I did one of those posts, and, well, you all know how much I like to help people when I can, so here are some questions people have asked Google lately, along with my answers…
Why can’t Scots say Karl?
So, Terry and I have just spent the last five minutes saying ‘Karl’ to each other, as a result of my reading this question in my search referrers. I really hope our house isn’t being bugged or something right now. I mean, I hope that ANYWAY, obviously, but if our house WAS being bugged, I’d like to think I’d do my best to make the resulting tapes at least somewhat entertaining to whoever had to listen to them, and now I’m honestly pretty embarrassed to know it would just be the sound of typing for hours, then a five minutes conversation that went like this:
ME: Say Karl.
ME: Yes, Karl. Say it.
TERRY: Why are we saying ‘Karl’ to each other?
ME: Because we CAN, Terry. Because we CAN…
And, really, that’s all I can tell you about this one: having conducted this totally scientific experiment, WE think Scots CAN say ‘Karl’. With that said, the only Karl I know is Doctor Karl Kennedy from Neighbours, and I’ve noticed that everyone else on Neighbours calls him ‘Kal’, so maybe it’s OTHER PEOPLE who can’t say Karl? I can already tell I’ll be losing sleep over this tonight…
Should you ask a friend why they unfollowed you on Instagram?
Now THIS is more like it! This is the kind of question that allows me to briefly experience what it must be like to be one of those magazine Agony Aunts (Er, do magazines still do that? I can’t actually remember the last time I bought one, so now I’m wondering if I sound like the kind of person who calls cellphones “portable phones” or something…), with eager young minds drinking up my words of wisdom and waiting for me to show them the way. And that would NEVER happen in real life, trust me.
Oh yeah: the answer is NO, by the way. NO, you should not ask your friend why they unfollowed you on Instagram. Let me caveat that: obviously it’s up to you to decide how important it is that someone unfollowed you. But personally? Nope, wouldn’t ask. Because that would be super-awkward, right? It’s not like the friend is going to just ‘fess up and say, “Oh yeah, I did it because I’ve been secretly hating you all this time,” so they’ll probably just give some kind of vague excuse that you won’t believe anyway, and then follow you again out of sheer guilt. And no one likes a guilt follow, do they?
Also, there are TONS of reasons why someone might unfollow you on Instagram, and only a few of them revolve around them hating your guts and wanting you dead. I, for instance, unfollow people who constantly post inspirational quotes over there, and I’m pretty ruthless about it, too: I don’t care if you’re my best friend, my own mother, or the baby Jesus himself – you clog up my Instagram feed with inspirational quotes, you’re gone. It’s nothing personal. It’s not like I hate you, and am never going to speak to you again, it’s just that, well, I’m on Instagram to look at photos of coffee cups and flatlays, not to be bombarded with stuff like this all day:
(Yeah, I’m totally Instagramming this later. Pinning it, too.)
Seriously, though: I have quite a few “real life” friends on Instagram, and the fact is, no matter how much you like someone, or how well you get on with them, you don’t always share the same interests as them, and that’s absolutely fine. My Instagram is mostly full of photos of shoes and dresses, and I’m pretty sure I have a few (mostly male) friends who aren’t all that interested in that kind of thing, so I wouldn’t be offended if they didn’t want to follow me there. (Note: I totally would be, because who wouldn’t want to see the SHOOZ? But I would know I was being stupid, and I would give myself a stern talking-to about it.)
How can I conveniently put on high shoe?
01. Wait until a moment when it’s convenient to put on [a] high shoe.
02. Put on [a] high shoe.
03. Congratulations! You have conveniently put on [a] high shoe!
Scottish people can’t say Karl
No, YOU can’t say Karl. I thought we’d established that already?
Is it okay to sleep in hard rollers i like to set my hair with hot rollers at night and then sleep in them
Seriously? Dude, if you REALLY “like” doing that then more power to you. Like, I don’t think the hot roller police are going to come and arrest you or anything? I gotta say, though, I’m seriously impressed, because I can’t even sleep in Sleep-in Rollers, which were (obviously) designed for that very purpose, so I think hard rollers would literally (LITERALLY) be a pain in the neck, but I dunno, maybe I’m just a particularly delicate flower? Like the Princess and the Pea, or something?
are u believe that everyone should be able to wear what they want?
Yes, I are believe it. I mean I do believe it. Even hard rollers to bed, if you really, really want.
Can I wear pink in the winter?
No, I draw the line at that: there will be no pink in the winter on my watch, sorry.
Nah, I’m joking: seriously, you can wear whatever you like, as long as you’re warm, comfortable, and not breaking any indecency laws. I appreciate you asking my permission, though, because it makes me feel special.
ebay where can i get a pillow for my face
Er, I think you answered your own question there, friend. I did, indeed, get a “pillow for my face” (Or a ‘Save My Face Pillow’, to give it its proper name) on eBay, but if it’s sleep lines you’re worried about, these days I actually use a silk pillowcase, on a feather pillow instead: the soft pillow means your face isn’t smooshed into it, and the silk pillowcase allows your skin to glide right off it, rather than creasing up. I find that more comfortable than the Save My Face pillow, but like I said, Princess and the Pea over here, for real.
There were plenty more where those came from, but I think I’ll leave them for another day: or just leave them all together, probably. If anyone else has any problems for me to solve, meanwhile, I’ll be over here muttering the name ‘Karl’ to myself. While I’m doing that, feel free to chime in: SHOULD you ask someone why they unfollowed you on social media?