Christmas gifts

The Friday Saturday Five Random Act of Stupidity

Remember how last week I started doing The Friday Five again and I was all, “I am going to do this every Friday now for the rest of my life, only maybe not”?

You all thought I forgot yesterday, didn’t you?

Well I did not! No, I did not forget The Friday Five, but it seems The Friday Five forgot me, because the website I get the questions from  didn’t get updated at all yesterday. And hasn’t been updated today either, at the time of writing. So, what basically seems to have happened is that I started doing The Friday Five, and The Friday Five stopped. Maybe forever. So, in other words, I broke The Friday Five. GOD.

Instead, here is a Random Act of Stupidity that took place in the early hours of Friday morning, so is still somewhat “Friday” themed…

So, because I am lazy, I have either ordered all my Christmas gifts from the internet, or I have delegated Terry to buy them.  Trust me, I totally suck at buying gifts, it’s for the best.  On Thursday afternoon, then, one of these packages was delivered, and I opened it, checked the gift inside… then, for reasons that aren’t particularly clear even to me, I placed it back inside the packaging and put the packaging on my desk.

Then, a few hours later, I picked it up, carried it downstairs, and placed it in the recycling bin outside.

The recycling bin that Terry later wheeled down to the bottom of the driveway, for collection in the early hours of Friday morning.


For some reason, though, luck was on my side that night. This was unusual in itself, because luck is hardly EVER on my side, but suddenly, as I lay drifting off to sleep at about 1am, the image of that parcel came floating into my head. I saw it sitting on my desk. I saw myself walking downstairs with it. I saw, as if from a great distance, my hand reaching out and throwing it in the recycling.  And then, with a small shriek, I sat bolt upright and shouted, “OMG! I HAVE THROWN THE PARCEL IN THE BIN!”

Then I lept from the bed and rushed to the window, where I peered down at the dark street outside. Sure enough, there, at the bottom of the driveway, stood the bin, waiting to be collected. I actually have no idea why I went to the window and looked at it, to be honest. I mean, did I think I’d be able to hear the feeble cries of the package as it threw itself helplessly against the sides of the bin, shouting, “let me oooouuuttttt!”? Because I couldn’t.

Anyway, because Terry is a chivalrous gentleman, he volunteered to go to the rescue of the package, so I jumped back into bed and lay there, as snug as a bug in a rug, listening to the sounds of him going outside and rummaging through the rubbish at 1am on a freezing November night, his dressing gown whipping friskily around him as he did so.

He did manage to find it, though. And that’s how it came to pass that one of my friends/family (because it could be either! Hell, it could be yoooouuuu!) will receive a gift that has spent a few hours of its life inside my recycling bin this Christmas.* It’s the thought that counts, no?

* I feel I have to point out that the gift itself was well-wrapped at the time, so it did not suffer for its time inside the bin. And it’s all paper in there anyway. No gifts were injured in the making of this entry, I promise!

P.S. I write a weekly diary which goes out every Friday to my subscribers. Sign up below to get on the list...

books by Amber Eve
  • Uh, I thought I was the only one who did things like that.

    Tracey´s last blog post..Oh…er…

    November 15, 2008
  • Hee hee, this really made me laugh, especially the bit about the package throwing itself against the side of the bin and wailing. 🙂

    <abbr>Elizabeth @ Lovely Things´s last blog post..Midcentury Modern show – Sun 16th nov 2008</abbr>

    November 15, 2008
  • I just laughed uncontrollably at you thinking you might hear the package in the bin. Well done!

    Kristabella´s last blog post..I Should Be Sleeping

    November 16, 2008
  • God, you remind me of myself.This one time, I walked to the end of the street with a nagging feeling that I was forgetting something,here.Turns out I forgot my bicycle.Beat that!

    November 16, 2008
  • When I was a student I waited at a bus stop for about 30 minutes before I realized it was 4am rather than 7am. Yes I had got out of bed a whole 3 hours early 🙁

    November 16, 2008
    • BW


      OK, I accept defeat! XD

      November 19, 2008
  • This post was hilarious. I particularly enjoyed imagining the journey of the parcel.

    It is not uncommon for me to look frantically for my sunglasses when they are on my head, and sometimes, on my face. I've also been known to try to push them up my nose when they are not on at all…

    <abbr>Hayley´s last blog post..In Which I Lie On a Putting Green, Find a Magical Portal, and Say Embarrassing Things In Public</abbr>

    November 16, 2008
  • Steph


    If it makes you feel better, I had my own Random Act of Stupidity today. I was leaving my house to go to a gig, and the steps were really dark and slippery – treacherous enough, except that halfway down them, I *forgot* that I was walking down steps, and thought that I was on flat ground. Cue me trying to walk on ground that wasn't there, and falling all the way down the rest of the steps. Two very grazed shins, and a great deal of embarassment! My dad just looked at me from the top of the steps, and I could tell he was thinking '*This* is the child that I helped to create? Heaven help us.'

    November 18, 2008