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The Worst Thing About Winter is Absolutely Everything About Winter

You know what’s the worst thing about winter? 

It’s all the people who love winter. 

You know the ones: in fact, you might even be one of them, in which case, all I can say is that you”re really not going to enjoy this post, so please don’t hate me. I don’t hate you, after all: I just don’t understand you. Like, not even a little bit. Especially when you keep using the words  “cosy” and “snuggle” all the time, and pretending that getting to wear a pair of boots is a fair trade off for months on end of darkness and virtual house arrest. (Spoiler: IT ISN’T.)

Here in Scotland, you see, no one loves winter. (Cue 875 Scottish people all lining up to tell me how much they love winter. LIARS.) Because we’re not crazy. Oh, and also because, here in Scotland, winter  pretty much sucks, really. And, I mean, I know YOUR snow is SO PRETTY and all, but OUR snow is normally just all grey and slushy, and if we get more than 1cm of it, everyone freaks out, then the entire country grinds to a halt. I DO NOT ENJOY THIS. No, seriously, WHY WOULD I ENJOY THIS, SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN? 
seasonal affective disorder

Here are some other things I don’t enjoy about winter:

Having to get out of bed when it’s still pitch dark outside. 

Thinking it surely must be bedtime already, then realising that, actually, it’s only 4pm: it’s just dark again already.

Being ill constantly.

Everyone else being ill constantly.

Worrying about being ill constantly.

Having to “bundle up” in order to leave the house. I AM NOT A “BUNDLE”, FFS.

Trying to wrestle a toddler into a snowsuit, and then having to pick his hat and gloves out of the slush every five minutes. 

When you have to go outside to put something into the bin, but the lid is thick with snow, and when you lift it up, the snow slides down your sleeve and soaks your arms and FML, seriously.

Having to cancel your plans because there’s half an inch of snow on the ground, and the UK just can’t cope.

Mentioning the snow on social media, and everyone commenting to tell you whether or not THEY have snow, too.

Being too scared to drive anywhere, because no one here knows how to drive in snow, so you feel like you’re risking your life any time you try. 

Getting out of the shower, and feeling the cold air hit your damp body.

People from the other side of the world smugly pointing out that it’s SO HOT where they are right now.

People from the other other side of the world smugly pointing out that THEIR winters are MUCH worse than YOUR winters, and that you’re not allowed to complain about YOUR winters until they’re as bad as THEIR winters, and not even then, really.

Wet clothes drying on radiators.

Snow that’s turned to slush and is just grey and dirty and sad, really.

Having to scrape the car down and defrost the windows before you can use it.

People repeatedly telling you how much they HATE summer, and wish the infernal winter could last forever. HOW SHOULD THEY DIE?

Here are some things other people claim to love about winter, but which don’t actually make it any better, really:

Christmas: I mean, it’s ONE FREAKING DAY, Sheila: calm down. Seriously, there isn’t a SINGLE THING in the entire world that lasts 24 hours (And you’re sleeping for part of it, anyway!), but is good enough to justify, like, EIGHT MONTHS of freezing cold weather and almost total darkness. Nothing.

Halloween: see above.

Boots and coats. Just… not THAT exciting, surely?

Being  “cosy”: So, right now, I’m taking a hot water bottle to bed with me every night, and wearing a jumper and a pair of fluffy socks, and I’ve still somehow managed to develop chilblains. Chilblains, people. I thought that was just something for people in Charles Dickens novels, but no: it’s also for ME, apparently, and, in related news, this is why I don’t want to take my shoes off in your house. Yes.  So, I don’t get this obsession with “cosy”.  Like, if I’m understanding this correctly, you’re happy to never see the sun, as long as you get to put a blanket over your legs when you sit on the sofa? And this makes sense HOW?

Being able to snuggle up and read books/watch movies: I mean…you can do that at ANY time of year, surely? Well, YOU can, anyway. I read a grand total of two books last year, and both of those were read mostly on planes, and in hotel rooms, during the summer. It’s not like I magically have more time for reading/watching movies in the winter than at any other time, really: is it just me? Do other people not have to work during the winter, or look after their kids? How come they suddenly have all of this spare time for “snuggling” and I don’t?

Playing in the snow, and feeling like a child again: I actually DID play in the snow for a while earlier this week: by which I mean I followed Max around, repeatedly replacing his gloves while HE played in the snow. I did NOT, however, feel “like a child again”, unfortunately. I mean, sure, I did my best to fake enjoyment of said snow for Max’s sake, but here’s the thing: I did NOT enjoy the snow. Because it was cold and wet and uncomfortable, and who actually enjoys being cold and wet and uncomfortable? Seriously, WHO? Because one thing’s for sure: it’s not me. Why is it not me, I wonder? 

SNOW DAYS: Literally only fun if they mean you get the day off from work/school: when you work from home anyway, and have a child to look after, a ‘snow day’ just means doing the same things you do every day, but without any additional childcare, or the hope of actually being able to leave your house for very long. No thanks.

So, I don’t like winter, is what I’m trying to say here. 

In fact, I HATE IT, really: for all of the reasons given above, but mostly because of that ‘end of the world’ feeling you get when it’s dark all the time, and you’re snowed in, always ill, and constantly worrying about how you’re going to pay your bills if your child has to keep missing nursery because of the weather, or yet another illness. 

I used to think my hatred of winter was due to Seasonal Affective Disorder – or S.A.D, as it’s appropriately known. I’ve never actually been officially diagnosed with that, though, because, if I DID go to see the doctor about it, I know exactly what they’d say: buy a lightbox, take vitamin D, try to get out more, WHAT ABOUT YOGA, THOUGH? And, well, I’ve tried all of those things, and none of them has made even the slightest difference, so now I think I maybe just hate winter? Because it’s literally the WORST THING EVER? 

Who’s with me on this, though? Because I know all the reasons some people love winter, but today I’d like to hear from my fellow haterz: misery loves company after all, and there’s still a long time to go until Spring…

 

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24 Comments
  • Emerald
    February 12, 2020

    Yes, with you here. More or less. And I say that because we can’t avoid winter, thus I try to find some things I like about it. As an artist, I do love beautiful snowy scenes and bright blue skies. But once the winter solstice has been I’m thinking ROLL ON SPRING!!

    I can’t cycle to work most of the winter because the canal path is too slippery. Plus when I finish work at 8pm it’s not a nice place to cycle along. And when it is mild enough to cycle I have to put on all my warm gear which leaves me sweaty. In fact, all I want to do is leave the house without thick tights and a coat. That said, I do think autumn and winter are prime time for snuggling up on the sofa with lots of candles.

    I have a friend who loves winter. He’s an artist and particularly likes winter trees. He went to Japan for a three-month holiday from December to March and had a brilliant time. Fancy missing the cherry blossom though!

    • Amber
      February 12, 2020

      I think the reason I don’t understand the whole ‘snuggling’ thing is that I don’t have any more time for it in winter than I do during the rest of year, but other people seem to? In winter, I just have to do the same things I do in summer (Work and childcare, basically…) only in the dark and freezing cold – roll on spring, indeed!

      • Alice
        February 12, 2020

        I’d find sitting on a sofa with a candle pretty boring, too……

        I like winter in the mountains, I love skiing. But in the UK it’s mostly tedious.

        However, with a very fair skinned child I also dread summer and constantly having to re apply factor 50…….. spring and autumn are best!

        • Amber
          February 12, 2020

          Sunscreen is the one thing I loathe about summer: it’s bad enough having to slather it on myself, but trying to apply it to a wriggling toddler is hell!

  • Cheila Martins
    February 12, 2020

    Hahahaha my name is Cheila (pronounced Shayla) and that kind hurt 😂

    • Amber
      February 12, 2020

      Oops! No offence intended!

      • Cheila Martins
        February 12, 2020

        No worries. It’s worse in my country, it’s considered a stripper’s name. Oh, the bullying 😊 I’m a good sport about it. Great post!

    • Adele
      February 13, 2020

      Brilliantly written, Amber! You make me laugh so much! I did a round trip from Dundee to Ardeonaig last night on ungritted roads with black ice, and I can hardly move today because my entire body is so stiff from how tensely I was gripping onto the steering wheel for dear life. Roll on Spring!!!

  • May
    February 12, 2020

    I hate summer more than I hate winter. But talking about summer and winter where I live. For a short summary
    Winter: average temperature between 7 and 15 degree, very rarely below 5. No snow. Not particularly dark or cloudy. Less hours of sunlight, sure, but it’s bright out between 8am and 6 pm so it’s not that bad. You have to bundle up but it’s not like you need snowsuits and boots for eight months (because it lasts five months tops)
    Summer: temperature can be 35 degree and higher. The sun shines with all its hatred between 5am and 8am. So hot can’t wear light enough clothes and sadly can’t leave the house naked. Don’t even try if you don’t have a pool or aircon. Christmas is a sweaty hot mess

    So yeah, I think it’s pretty easy to understand why I prefer winter. But I’m sure if I lived in Scotland I’d like summer better too!

  • Anna @Make Life Simpler
    February 12, 2020

    This is hilarious and I am with you on so many of these things (esp the terror of driving in snow and ice, mainly the other moron road users but I don’t really know how to drive up and down steep hills (which my bit of Yorkshire has an abundance of) either, so I basically just refuse to drive in bad weather), and yet….(am I allowed to say it?) I love Winter!
    Hear me out though, I can be found on Stories every morning walking the dog, and professing how every new season that comes around is my favourite season, so it’s not like I am exclusively a winter fan, perhaps just unfussy as seasons go! But there are things I love (and dislike) about all of them.
    In terms of winter, it’s definitely the cosy that gets me. We do watch an episode of something most evenings, so there is a chance to snuggle on the sofa under a blanket with the dog and cat on my knee, with the log burner lit in a nice toasty warm room while the wind howls outside. It makes me feel so safe and snug and at home, I love it.
    So yeah, sorry, I know you just wanted reasons to hate winter – will give you some more – impossible to wear nice shoes even when going out unless you want frostbite/broken ankles – not being able to feel your fingers for a couple of hours after coming in from walking the dog on really cold days – being stuck indoors with a toddler and limited “rainy day” activities up your sleeve – muddy paw prints on my carpets when the dog comes in from the garden (she refuses to wipe her paws, the savage) – having to wait 5 mins in your freezing car before you can drive anywhere because you have to wait to be able to see out. Yeah, quite a lot really! Winter sucks! (Except when it doesn’t!). x

  • Barb W.
    February 12, 2020

    I Hate Cold Weather.

  • Amber I can’t add anything to your list of all the heinous things about winter… you’ve said them all for me. And I live at the opposite end of the country to you, so we don’t get anywhere near as much snow as you, and the days are a bit longer than yours, yet still I hate it!! In fact February is the most horrible month of them all (in a “is it STILL winter FFS??” kind of way). I cannot WAIT for it to be over and for the clocks to change.

    Does this mean I actually hate winter more than you if our winters aren’t as harsh…? I think it does!!!! 😉

    Catherine x

  • Brenda
    February 12, 2020

    Huge Winter Hater here! Plus I am Canadian, so I really feel you. I spend most of the winter looking at my husband, screaming on the inside, trying to be calm on the outside saying, “We live here? Really?” Unfortunately our longest season is not my favourite season. 7 sometimes 8 months of the worst weather ever. It has been known to snow every single month where I live. So even our “summer” months have been hit with the odd skiff of snow. Ugh.

  • Jennifer
    February 12, 2020

    Is there room in this comment section for someone who hates winter and summer? I agree with all your reasons for hating winter especially since we have had an odd winter this year and haven’t gotten much snow. The first deep snowfall of the season is the only redeeming feature of winter and we have simply had slush instead. One snowstorm and I am done though. But summer is terrible too. I don’t handle the heat well because I overheat easily and it gives me migraines. What I really like is lovely, dry, 75 degree Fahrenheit (24 degrees Celsius) days. A nice moderate temperature with blue skies. Is that too much to ask? Meanwhile, we are supposed to get two more inches of slush tonight.

  • Mary Katherine
    February 12, 2020

    I hear you, girl. From February on, I’m pretty much done – give me warm sand, gentle waves and a frosty adult beverage. But the one thing that gets me through winter (aside from the first few minutes of waking up on a weekend to a fresh snow. And I’m sorry you don’t get weekends anymore…) is my FIREPLACE. We crank that thing up every night and it is 1)heat 2)entertainment and 3)company – odd, I know, but it’s almost like having another nice creature in the room. I could bask and watch it through its glass doors for hours – fell asleep on the couch last night because I couldn’t bear to leave it to go into the bedroom (where I could’ve lit the gas fire, actually). OK, that’s just weird….
    That still does nothing about the no-no-nice-shoes-til spring thing, but my boot fetish is helping with that.
    Oh well. Thanks for the good Winter Winge. It’s nice hearing from you more often now – keep up the great work!

    • Amber
      February 12, 2020

      Warm sands, gentle waves and a frosty adult beverage is my idea of HEAVEN!

  • Sarah Rooftops
    February 12, 2020

    I’m neutral in theory (it’s pretty; getting dressed requires less thought; can justify more hot chocolate; but also so damn cold brr) BUT I have raynaud’s so the cold weather is a real problem for me. I couldn’t throw a snowball, even if I wanted to (which I don’t – yay, aggression is fun…?). That was fine before I had kids, but now the slightest hint of snow and the eldest one wants to be OUT THERE playing with it, and I have to either be the horrible parent who refuses to take her outside or I have to sacrifice my toes for the sake of her enjoyment. Catch 22. Luckily, we’ve had no snow this year… YET… *crosses fingers while I still have them*

    • Amber
      February 12, 2020

      Ooh, that’s interesting: I’m pretty sure I have Raynaud’s too, although it’s self-diagnosed because, health anxiety. I find the cold literally painful, though – and, yes, I felt like I had to take Max out in the snow this week because I knew he’d enjoy it, but, if it wasn’t for him, nothing would persuade me to leave the house in it!

  • Minda
    February 12, 2020

    I could have written this. I’m Jewish, so Christmas and all the ways it dominates everything just makes it all worse. lol In Seattle, we don’t get much snow, thankfully, but I’m still sick of dark, gray, and being chilled! People may kind of like autumn up until Christmas, which is barely even in winter. I think most people don’t even mean actual winter when they say they love it. Meanwhile, I’m literally counting the days to spring.

  • 1004239751% with you on this one. I’m basically already always cold because I’m apparently some sort of reptile in Human clothing. So the last thing I want? Is more cold when I’m already struggling to stay warm at 70 degrees F in the first place- let alone every. Single. Freaking. Day. For 3 months straight.

    Having a ceramic bathtub with no shower head? THE ABSOLUTE WORST; want a nice hot bath on a cold winter day? Better make sure you temper the tub with the hottest water possible at least 30 minutes in advance otherwise your ass’ll be freezing quicker’n you can blink- even if you’re intentionally trying to scald your skin off like you’re on the 30th level of hell. Ain’t fun.

    I have joint pain made worse every time a cold front comes in, to the point I can barely walk most days. And my cold sensitive teeth hurt like hell when I open my mouth- not to mention the bone pain in my jaw from the wisdom teeth I had removed. Which, for some reason, act like my joints when it’s cold.

    And oh, gods, peoples’ advice on what to do to stay warmer. IT’S SO GRATING; I have a fireplace going near 24 / 7. I sit wrapped in a heated blanket turned on high… It does nothing.

    “You can always put on more layers if you’re still so cold”? Congratulations, I own 10 pairs of double insulated wool socks with sherpa lining, 5 adult onsies, 3 winter robes, and a jillion sweaters and sweatpants of varying thicknesses- some of which are double insulated too. Every one item type of which I wear in combination at the same time and no, it does not help one single bit.

    But besides, that? After a certain point, the layers reach a level that restricts movement, and I can’t move… And I panic whenever I don’t have full range of motion and movement, because of years of trauma. Literally the last thing I want to do regardless of what season it is, is relive that trauma. But I especially do not want to do it while trying not do what basically feels like freezing to death to me.

    So yes! Screw the cold. screw winter; I would literally rather be naked and still boiling than in a constant state of sheer terror and panic, and cold, and pain. NO THANK YOU.

  • Myra
    February 13, 2020

    I hate winter too. I hate being cold, I hate being wet. I hate the dark nights and the feeling that it will never end. Spring is my favourite season because it feels like the world (and me) is coming back to life as winter feels like a long death.

  • Lizteabee
    February 13, 2020

    I like winter ok where I live but honestly Scottish winter seems like the worst. Your weather is roughly equivalent to Washington DC’s which is the worst. Not enough snow to get good at it but enough that it really impacts going about your business. My nieces get more snow days in the DC area than I do up in New England (570km north). Meanwhile you get less sunlight than almost anywhere in the US. The lack of sunlight is what gets me.

  • sophikita
    February 16, 2020

    YES. Winter sucks. Summer is the best. The end.

  • Tracey
    February 19, 2020

    I hate winter and if I could I’d go live in the tropics and laugh at all the people being “cozy” in the cold. Idiots.