Oh my holy God, it’s another freaking list…

Hi! Hello! Yes, it’s me, I’m still alive! It would be great if I had an actual, honest to God reason why I haven’t updated here for almost a week now, but, um, yeah, not so much, really. I mean, I’d love to be able to tell you that it’s because I was inundated with offers after my appearance on the Vanessa Feltz show, but clearly that’s just crazy talk, because actually last week looked a bit like this:

  • Work – well, d’uh!
    I’ve not particularly been enjoying work this week, because a) there’s been a lot of it and b) I’ve been working for a long time now, I’d kind of like to be able to just lie around the house now, eating Haribo Mix and reading trashy novels all day. Could someone maybe sort that out for me, please? Also, this week was Oscars Week, which meant that I spent an awful lot of it writing about what people were wearing, and there are only so many different ways you can say “red was popular this year” before your vision starts to glaze over and you find yourself thinking about the Haribo sweets and the trashy novels. You know?
  • The Gym – at which I managed to pick up a “sports injury”
    Yes, I did, I got me a “sports injury”. I was actually quite proud of this because if any of the people who were at high school with me are reading this at the moment, they’re probably falling around laughing and saying, “Amber? Sports? No way!” (Well, obviously they’ll not be saying it exactly like that because, you know, they all used to call me “Spamhead McNaught” in those days. Yes.)
  • Oh yeah, my sports injury!
    It was a sore knee. I got it on the treadmill. I think I must have “pulled” something. I did it on Tuesday, and even although I knew it was stupid, I went back on Wednesday and ran on the treadmill again, and after that I couldn’t walk no more, the end.
  • Taking Terry’s car to the garage. Yes, AGAIN.
    It’s still making that whining noise, and to be honest, the frequent trips to the garage stopped being amusing about, ooooh, five trips ago, and now we just feel like we live there. Guess where we’re going tomorrow, for instance? Did you guess, “the garage”? Clever you!
  • Listening to the crazy-ass weather throw the rubbish bins around the street
    England had an earthquake, but up here, well, we just freakishly high winds, and all of the rubbish bins in the street ganged up and started doing the rounds of everyone’s gardens, blown by the crazy winds. It sucked. It’s March, you know: in like a lion, probably out like a lion too.
  • Feeling grateful that my new dress actually fits me
    So, yeah, that dress I was having made? Arrived. And fits like a glove. You know, with four fingers and a thumb on each side. No, I jest. It fits like a dress, which reassured me a little because, whew, turns out my waist is EXACTLY WHERE I THOUGHT IT WAS all along. The joy!
  • Feeling depressed about it being March already.
    Because the time, oh how it flies. And you know, last March, Terry and I got married. This March? Kind of sucks in comparison.

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books by Amber Eve
  • Just a thought, but why don't you try taking it to a different garage? I've long believed mechanics don't tell you about certain faults so you just have to keep coming back in the future. I also believe they occasionally create these faults, but that's just my paranoia kicking in… but maybe a different garage might be able to tell what is wrong with it?

    As for the earthquake, we were awake and felt it, but the winds have been so mad here I actually just thought it was another particularly strong gust until I saw the news the next day 😐

    March 3, 2008
  • I hate the tredmill because it always makes my shins hurt. Your injury is totally legit!

    March 3, 2008
  • Steph


    I have in the past managed to pull muscles whilst opening a bag of crisps. The shame, the shame.

    March 4, 2008
  • @ Toni – the garage is actually quite a good one, I think the problem is that it's one of those "intermittent" noises so it can be difficult to know what's causing it. (My car went to a different garage when it had its intermittent fault. It's all fun, all the time round here!). I'm hoping they start giving us money off for loyalty or something…

    @ Molly – the weird thing is that the treadmill seems to hurt a different bit of me every time. One day it'll be my left ankle, the next, the back of my right knee, and there seems to be no way of knowing which part will be next. Maybe I need to pick a different instrument of torture…

    @ Steph – oh, me too, me too! I am a complete weakling, I can harm myself just by thinking about gym equipment!

    March 4, 2008
  • Thank you for this post. I have now decided not to go to the gym tonight. I might risk injury. Which would prevent me from sitting on my arse at work. And we can't have that. And also? I need an excuse that isn't "I don't feel like it."

    March 5, 2008