5 Times Collectif Broke My Heart This Month
As regular readers probably know (because I’ve been banging on about it relentlessly, lately), I’ve been kind of moving away from my usual, retro-inspired style this year, which means I haven’t been checking out some of my old favourite websites as often as I used to.
It turns out, however, that one look at the Collectif site was really all I needed to re-ignite my love of retro, and get me filling up my shopping basket with thing I absolutely, positively cannot live without. Like this dress, for instance:
Guys, I can’t live without it. And, I mean, OK, I’ll have to figure out how to bend time, move back to 1961, and get a job in the Mad Men office in order to have an excuse to wear it, but still: I know it’ll suck having to live without the internet and all, but at least I’ll have a sparkle tweed dress, right? Sparkle. Tweed. I want it.
We’ve now reached that special time of year when I want to dress almost exclusively in blackwatch check, and ain’t no one gonna stop me. Not even by pointing out that, hey Amber, don’t you already own a dress in this print? And yes – yes I do: but since when have I let trifling details like that stop me? Exactly.
I don’t, however, own a dress like THIS (Well, not other than in my own head, anyway: for some reason, any time I try to imagine myself doing something, I’m almost always wearing a dress exactly like this. Which basically means it’s meant to be, no?), and I’m honestly not exaggerating when I tell you there is literally nothing (Literally. Nothing.) I wouldn’t do in order to own this dress*:
I’d never, ever wear it, obviously. I mean, what am I going to do: sit around my home office dressed like Keira Knightley in Atonement? (Answer: Yes, what of it?) Just owning it, however, would make my life complete. It would also make the sun shine, reverse global warming, and generally make the world a far better place.* It’s THAT kind of dress, isn’t it?
I’m actually starting to suspect a conspiracy now, what with all of these redheaded models in green dresses. It’s like they’re deliberately trying to target me, isn’t it? They’re all, “Amber…. Amber… if you bought these dresses, you too would have legs up to your armpits and an actual waist! It would cost you just £53.50! Think of it as an investment!” And because I’m very suggestible, I’m just all, “Well, alrighty, then: I’ll take the black version, too!” Be glad you’re not me, people: it’s an expensive way to live, and not once have I ended up looking like the model. Not ONCE.
Again, you might be thinking that I already have a gingham skirt or three, and again I’m thinking, ‘Why are you bringing this up as if it’s relevant? Sheesh!’ It seems there’s no limit to the number of gingham skirts I can lust after: it also seems that I’m very much back into the retro look again (or some elements of it, anyway…), which makes the Great Clothing Cull of ’16 seem like less of a bright idea than it did a few months ago. Luckily for me, most of the clothes I got rid of were summer ones (Which I rarely ever wore, on account of us not really getting summer any more…), so it’ll be next year before I’m able to fully regret them. And just think of all of the things I could’ve bought by then?
*Statement may contain gross exaggeration and/or outright lies. May also be totally true, though.