The diaries of a teenage girl are, quite possibly, the most excruciatingly embarrassing things in the world: so, naturally, I’m choosing to share mine with the internet.

I’ve kept diaries all my life: and, on this page, you’ll find extracts from my 1990 diary, faithfully transcribed in all of its cringeworthy glory. Each month, I open up my diary and write down exactly what I find there, no matter how embarrassed I am to read it, or how tempted I am to just BURN the damn thing already. While some names have been changed to protect the innocent (or the guilty, as the case may be…), everything else has been left as it was in the original diary, which stands as testament to how utterly insane teenage girls can be. Read about my ongoing attempt to become famous, the startling lack of talent that made this project just a little bit tricky for me, and my unshakeable belief that I was the ugliest person to ever walk the face of the earth.

These posts are part of my premium content and, as such, are only available to my Patreon subscribers, although I’ve left the very first one unlocked, to give you an idea of what you can expect. Click here to find out more about my Secret Diary Project, and here to subscribe via Patreon, where, in addition to the diaries of a teenage girl, you can also unlock other content and bonuses. Oh, and if you enjoyed these diary extracts, you may also be interested in The Diary of a Failed Showjumper: my first-ever diary, containing the ramblings of my 11-year-old, pony-obsessed self, or my Pregnancy Diary in which I chart … I’m sure you can work that one out for yourself, can’t you?

The Diaries of a Teenage Girl & Failed Pop Star: