The Sad Soft Toys of L.A.

The last time I was in L.A., I uncovered a seedy underside to the city: a side that’s rarely talked about, concerning soft toys, and their struggle to survive in a city that cares nothing for their plush fur, their button eyes, and the fact that THEY HAVE FACES, OMG.

Well, folks, I’m sad to report that since then, things have only gotten worse for the soft toys of Los Angeles. Driving down Melrose Avenue a few days ago, I looked up to see this, hanging from an electricity line:

hanging bunny on Melose, Los Angeles

“STOP THE CAR!” I shrieked immediately, horror coursing through my veins. “SOMEONE HUNG A BUNNY! OMG! OMG! WE MUST SAAAAVVVVVVEEE HIM!”

My family would not stop the car, and nor would they join me in wondering aloud how we could possibly get the bunny down. “That bunny must’ve done something REALLY bad,” was my mum’s only comment, but, I mean, AS IF. Soft toys don’t have a bad bone in their bodies – partly because they don’t have ANY bones in their bodies, obviously – so clearly this bunny was the innocent victim of some evil prank.

It got worse, though, because further down the same street…

hanging monkeys on Melrose

Two monkeys, hung by the feet. I can’t even tell you how much this disturbed me, although if you’ve read this post, you’ll probably have a good idea. Anyway, I Googled it later, and it turns out these murdered toys are all over the city, and it’s something to do with someone promoting their ice-cream truck, which is pretty random. Great guerrilla marketing, I guess, but guess who WON’T be buying ice cream from a truck while she’s here? Did you guess, “the redhead in the big skirt who takes the welfare of soft toys WAY too seriously?” You guessed right. L.A. is a tough city for soft toys, people: it just chews ’em up and spits ’em out.

In related news, I think I might need to add a new tab to my header, specifically for all the times I see soft toys that need rescuing…

books by Amber Eve
  • I so understand where you are coming from. I am that person who bought the last Christmas bear from the supermarket because he had been alone on the shelf for three months and I couldn’t bear to see him unloved any longer!!!

    September 19, 2015
  • As someone who works in marketing, let me just say I will never abuse a soft toy to promote anything. There are lines, people, lines!

    September 19, 2015
  • That would make me cry. Not figuratively but literal tears. I cried when I first saw the Specsavers advert with the teddy going into space. Scratching LA off my list of places to travel.

    September 19, 2015
  • TinaD


    If it were really effective guerrilla marketing, wouldn’t someone be aware it was advertising ice cream trucks without having to google? Even the Burmashave folks told you what they were selling… Eventually. Advertising execs have totally jumped the shark.

    September 19, 2015
  • This is just so sad. I would probably try to rescue them all.

    September 19, 2015
  • This is disturbing. I can’t imagine why anybody would buy ice cream from them after this campaign.

    September 20, 2015
  • Oh No! That’s horrible! That would upset me too 🙁
    Suzy x

    September 20, 2015